Life bullshit... needed to get this out some how. This is why we smoke.

[hearmenow]

Well done, caste! You are an inspiration to others. Fortunately, I've never had an issue with alcohol or any other vice.......except pot and that's been a vice for probably the last 4 years.

I've come to the conclusion that happiness is a state of mind. We all have the power to be "happy" no matter what our circumstances. I'm also going through a rough period and I've been down the last couple days but I also am a strong believer in the mantra that what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

One small story for you: back in 1999, my ex-wife was 6 months pregnant with our baby and I was about to close on our new home. The day before I was to close on our home, my boss let me go. The day before! With a 6 month pregnant wife! Needless to say, this was a very dark day in my life. To make a long story short, I was unemployed for 6 weeks but when I did land my new job, it was at a much higher salary, better perks and an annual bonus. Looking back now, losing my job actually helped me in the long run, even though I'm since divorced and changed companies 4 times. But that's another story.........

I know what you mean. Untill a few months ago, I had only tried pot 1 time in high school. I'm 36 now. I got to the point where I drank every day to cope with problems. I tried to quit many times, but always gave in to the urge. I drank a 12 pack every day. I couldn't even get through one day without giving into the urge. I didn't think AA was for me so I did some research. I found some information online that said that in some people marijauna eased withdrawel from alcohol and opiats. Well I ordered some seeds, joined this site, and now I don't drink. I've never been happier. After my first harvest, I would smoke a small amount when I would crave a beer. It cured my cravings. Now I usually smoke just before I lay down for bed at night. Its a really nice way to fall asleep. No one has any idea (except my wife, and she is cool with it) that I smoke. Nor do I know anyone else who smokes. Anyway, I have rambled long enough. I'm just glad that its working for you.

 

[abudsmoker]

Its best not to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend that doesnt smoke or drink cause dam they'll bitch you out, all the time about it.

this is untrue, my wife is clean never smoked mary jane or anything besides marlboro you have to find the girl thats right, you can only imagine what my wife thinks of all this! it's a bitch that i dont get no help, but i aint complaining. i think it is best to have a clean normal partner, finding one to put up with your shit, thats the hard part.

once you get her spoil the shit outta her. my woman, she i the drive that allows me to operate in life without her i am nothing

 

[Purple_Ganja]

oh NOOOO! lmao, I was sooo afraid of this. Damn I didn't mean for this to turn into a pitty party for me! I can deal with my shit yall, I always have. Good news, after I got all that shit out yesterday on here, I felt better, and it got better, and today has been awesome. I just needed to vent, that's all. But I love some of your responses, such strength. My rollitup buddies fucking rock. You buncha hash-muffins you lol

 

[hearmenow]

Damn....and I just wasted my 5 mins creating my post.

Glad to hear you are feeling better, purp.

 

[Purple_Ganja]

I only have time for a few replies, wish I could do more. Here they are:

money is the root of all evil. for more info send $9.95

That's the funniest little quip I've heard all day. I'm using this one, thank you lol. You just made me a funnier guy to be around

The problem is how you look at life. There is no doubt that you dissatisfaction is now obvious to everyone around you. This will make you a negative personality. Nobody wants to be near this. Its catching and depressing. Take all your problems and deal with each one slowly and methodically. Be happy knowing that by doing this, you are trying. Maybe tomorrow wont be a shitty day after all. Stay positive.

Some seriously good points you made here friend. Its so obvious how right you are. Half of these thoughts, I've had myself. Two of my favorite most comforting thoughts are "This too shall pass" and something along the lines of what you said about me keeping on trying. I never give up, that is one thing about me.

Man, there are plenty of people with NO Money, No Job, NO Girlfriend and NO Dope that are happy.
Happiness is not what you have and don't have, it is an attitude.
Friend, I have learned that unhappy people tend to want to stay unhappy.
do you really want to cheer up?

I just bet that you do not want to hear any suggestions that you get here.
My suggestion is that you find and develope a relationship with a Higher Power that we call God. Sure makes me happy!

but IF youa re serious, then do something differnet! Change !

Doing the same thing will get the same results! I guarantee you!

IF AT FIRST YOU DO NOT SUCCEED, THEN KEEP ON SUCKING UNTIL YOU DO SUCK SEED!

I KNEW SOMEONE WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! and it HAD to be you Roseman lol, that's why I fucken love you dude. I was about to say something about the definition of a crazy person (for lack of being able to remember the right word ) being someone that does things over and over expecting a different result. And hell yes I want to cheer up and stay happy. Its kinda like I said though, its the people that surround me on a daily basis that stress me out and have me so upset by the end of the day. I understand what you say about change, believe me I do, I'm undergoing change on a daily basis, big changes, trying to figure out things. Slowly but surely the pieces are coming together bro

Its best not to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend that doesnt smoke or drink cause dam they'll bitch you out, all the time about it.

Word. I don't care who drinks, long as it doesn't become a problem in my life. Same with smoking... to an extent. Moderation has its place in everything. My girl, though, smokes just as much as I do lol.

Some short small saying I live by "Be happy with what you have, but never complacent" And dood dont worry life is about fighting man...just keep fighting and smokin that fucking ganja bro!

Word man. Only thing is, my life, IS about what I have. Let me just put it this way, I need to be rich, so that I can save two people I care about. If I had the money, I'd have the way. Otherwise they'll just die. Its not about personal gain, its about protecting two big pieces of my heart. If they die, I'll probably die on the inside and become a living ghost in this world. I don't want that. But I will most definately keep smoking my ganja bro

 

[fdd2blk]

.... I wish I could just go to sleep tonight and not wake up so I could just, move on to my after-life. I'm sick of this one.

this concerns me.

 

[Purple_Ganja]

don't worry I'm not suicidal. My beliefs wont allow it. I would be a fool to risk an eternity of pain and suffering, just to end this short little life. I don't know if people that commit suicide automatically go to hell or not, so I wont risk it. Just the fact that I know there's a chance though, makes me feel that much sorrier for people that actually do pull the trig... I'm sure we've all known great people who've done that, I know I have. Two of the most kick ass people I ever met did themselves in, one of them was an auto mechanics teacher at the high school I graduated at.

I can't believe I was THAT down yesterday. I haven't read what I wrote yesterday, I just closed my eyes and typed what came to my mind. Today if I did this, you guys would think I was a different person. I evolve so fast I can barely keep up with myself you guys. This often used to lead to people always believing I'm full of shit, which really sucks when you know you're a good guy at heart.

this concerns me.

 

[Purple_Ganja]

don't worry I'm not suicidal. My beliefs wont allow it. I would be a fool to risk an eternity of pain and suffering, just to end this short little life. I don't know if people that commit suicide automatically go to hell or not, so I wont risk it. Just the fact that I know there's a chance though, makes me feel that much sorrier for people that actually do pull the trig... I'm sure we've all known great people who've done that, I know I have. Two of the most kick ass people I ever met did themselves in, one of them was an auto mechanics teacher at the high school I graduated at.

I can't believe I was THAT down yesterday. I haven't read what I wrote yesterday, I just closed my eyes and typed what came to my mind. Today if I did this, you guys would think I was a different person. I evolve so fast I can barely keep up with myself you guys. This often used to lead to people always believing I'm full of shit, which really sucks when you know you're a good guy at heart. On the other hand, all that shit I typed yesterday, I'm sorry to say was... only half my problems. I can't tell the rest for anonymity sake. Now that I'm in a good mood, I can go crush a few more top high scores in the stoners' arcade

this concerns me.

 

[fdd2blk]

i feel your pain. the nicer i am the worse people treat me. they seem to think i can't handle it, because i see the lighter side of things, so they dump all the drama my way. all it does is lower my opinion of them. moy boss told me 2 days ago that as a boss it was his job to make my feel belittled. i have broken my back for this guy for 5 years and he pops off with this.

 

[Purple_Ganja]

This is similar to one of the "daily stresses" I was talking about that I have to constantly deal with. I'm on the working level of a manager, and make the money (which, like I said, is not going to be enough in the long run), but get treated like someone that was just hired two days ago. What the hell right?

I've been at my job between 8 and 9 years now. There's a fucking reason I've been able to hold my position THIS long. Some folks wouldn't know loyalty and devotion if it landed on the hood of their car like a mound of bricks while waiting in the to-go lane at McDonalds.

i feel your pain. the nicer i am the worse people treat me. they seem to think i can't handle it, because i see the lighter side of things, so they dump all the drama my way. all it does is lower my opinion of them. moy boss told me 2 days ago that as a boss it was his job to make my feel belittled. i have broken my back for this guy for 5 years and he pops off with this.

 

[Gygax1974]

i feel your pain. the nicer i am the worse people treat me. they seem to think i can't handle it, because i see the lighter side of things, so they dump all the drama my way. all it does is lower my opinion of them. moy boss told me 2 days ago that as a boss it was his job to make my feel belittled. i have broken my back for this guy for 5 years and he pops off with this.

Sounds like you need to go into work with a gun or something....j/k

 

[fdd2blk]

Sounds like you need to go into work with a gun or something....j/k

i actually called him an idiot and said "yes sir!", "kitty sir!". then i told him i don't work for people like that and will be seeking other employment. this was in front of the whole job. general contractor, electrians, plumbers, hvac guys. hella funny. he said we need to go outside and talk. i said no. i may stick it out until fall harvest and lay off for the winter......AGAIN.

 

[Purple_Ganja]

I like what you say about channeling the negative energy into positive. For a short while, I tried that approach. The only problem is most of my anger and frustration builds at work and I can't even vent or my boss will get all pissy with me, yall know how that shit is. So its like I have to hold in all the stress of the day and by the time I get home I'm ready to explode on the first person that gives me a negative tug.

Either way I'll figure SOMEthing out. You people always make me happy, but I already talk to yall as much as I can lol.

Hey Purple Ganja,

Roseman made some good points. Change is key. Not to demean or lessen your problems but I will give you some background. I have lost my father and my mother in less than a years span and I bought a house with my girlfriend who has done a 180 and drinks like a fish since we bought the house. I am a recovering alkie so I had to have many talks with the girl who is also a mother of a 22 yr old and an 11 year old. It has effected us all IMMENSELY!!!
I haven't had a drink in a year and a half, I got arrested twice in 6 months after my pops passed because I was self medicating with alcohol. I was making things worse. Not to mention that I started to become finacially strapped, I was dropping a 1000.00 a month on boozing. Then last Sept. my mother passed. She had cancer since I was 18 (i'm now 33), I was there with her every step of the way, it was very hard, but I was sober and I dealt with it differently. When she passed I wanted to punch god in the face I had it with life. I was losing my temper and feeling really down. Then I was going through a manic stage for months, no sleep too much work you know the deal. It's now June and I'm feeling like a new man. I did a couple of things, first you need to have some relaxing hobbies/escapes...I got back into playing games mainly Dungeons and Dragons (it's gay but one key point is that it is social and I loved it when I was a kid) I'm finding that I still like it maybe more than when I was a kid. If you surround yourself with people in a fun enviornment it's contagious The other thing I did was I started painting again, it is so theraputic, I can't even begin to tell you. It's all about outlets my friend, chanelling negative energy into a little "get up and go" or positive energy. Turn that frustration into motivation...it's your life...right? The other thing I did was I started to see a shrink, talking to someone every couple of weeks is so amazing to me. I helps me vent my feelings and it also helps to have an outsider who is not biased tell you what he/she thinks about you and your problems. When I walk out of that office I feel like the world is mine and nothing is going to get in my way...but in a good way. Another thing I have done is try to be a good person. I lost both parents to cancer so I started there. I volunteer for Cancer runs, not running neccassarily, but helping set up the events. I also have a band and we play benefits for Breast Cancer whenever I can get something organized, I've done three since Sept and raised over 10 grand. I have also started to grow my hair for Locks for Love, when my hair gets long enough they will make a wig out of it and give it to someone going through chemo. Basically do at least one good deed a way, it makes you feel great.

I haven't figured out what to do about my girlfriend yet, but as someone said take it slow and one problem at a time. I still smoke and it does relax me but you need to remember that the problem will still be there waiting for you unless you start to take some positive steps. And I can't stress enough to channel that anger in a positive manner..anger is a gift like any other emotion. Love is key too, next time you and the old lady have a problem don't lash out tell her you love her...it's amazing how quickly the situation will diffuse itself. Then sit down when you are both ready to talk like adults (I still have problems with this but I'm learning). Say things like I really bothers me when you do so and so, not you suck because you do so and so.

Sorry for the book but I'm just trying to help. I actually feel better now...whew!!! Oh and Roseman said you need to find that higher power, I don't believe in a biblical god but I do believe in a higher power...I started to find this higher power right after my mother died, no pun intended but thank god I did. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Keep the head up those arms pumping and put one foot in front of the other.

 

[Gygax1974]

I still have problems with it too, it's a constant struggle but I have noticed things work out better when I don't get frustrated. I got that Medditerranian blood in me....sometimes I still blow my top. I think you started a good thread here, I wouldn't call it a pity party it's more like a rollitup.org round table on our problems. That's why I like it here at rollitup.org...full of good people. ALL of the other forums I visited are full of newbie bashing and disrespect.

 

[heymo85]

*Update*

I can't believe what a horrible mood I was in yesterday. I'm in a good mood today, I've been getting better at bypassing future stresses. The problems are still there and they are very real, but some of you had some really awesome things to say and it REALLY helped put some other things I hadn't thought of into perspective as well. I hope none of you think less of me for being such a downer yesterday. It was just really bad. Things were starting off bad, and I just knew it was gonna suck ass. Venting was good though, it gave me a release, and also I love hearing people's responses to things like this, I always learn such awesome stuff about life. People's perspectives on things like life and happiness are intriguing to me. So I hope you don't mind that I just picked your brains a little as well. I wont leave anyone hanging - don't worry. Here's what I wrote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know if it does any good to list out all your problems like this but... here's what's been bothering me. What's been bothering you? Why do you smoke?

The List​

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel like a magnet to people that want to take advantage of other people.
I feel like I can't have shit, cuz someone else will either take it, or fuck it up.
I make 10 bucks an hour, I should be making 17-24 bucks an hour, I've finished college, got a degree, and found out AFTER having spent all those years in college that the field I majored in was highly oversaturated and I couldn't get a job.
I'm in what I thought was a perfect relationship, seems to be turning to shit, and this is REALLY bad because I know I want to marry this girl. What can I do to save a relationship that only seems to get worse on its own? I know the sayings, I know the definition of psychotic and crazy. I don't make the same mistakes twice. So then why doesn't my life get any better, ever? It has been EXACTLY the same, for the last three years.

How can I have a good day, when the only thing that makes my day go from good, to shit, is people? This is not an every other week I'm having a shitty day kinda thing, this is an every day or every other day occurance. I literally feel like that guy on Office Space, every day is the worst day I have ever had. I'm sure tomorrow's gonna be shitty too. I'm just sick of feeling like I've paid my Goddamn dues, and I haven't gotten any payout from it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yall know what I'm saying? Somebody PLEASE cheer me up in the next 10 minutes, PLEASE. *beg beg beg, plead plead plead*

I think probably the hardest argument to talk about is the whole college thing. I had to take the next best thing I could do with my abilities and go with that because even now, there's still no positions available, probably in all of America. Literally. I feel the sting of my wasted years in college every day now, because I'm missing out on a seriously nice life I could've had, that I feel like I earned, but didn't even have the oportunity to get. Not forgetting to mension the money ALSO invested in my schooling, hope grant didn't buy half my damn books, and I had NO scholarships. Its like, I worked my ass off to get through college, keeping my eye on the gold, but then I get to the finish line, and the crowd that's supposed to be there to cheer you on has already gone home. Fuck this shit, I'm growing weed, I'll just get rich that way. I just don't feel like I should have to risk my life for money, when I've already given a lot of my life up for it. I wish I could just go to sleep tonight and not wake up so I could just, move on to my after-life. I'm sick of this one.

i hope your a girl

 

[Purple_Ganja]

and I could really care less....

i hope your a girl

 

[Purple_Ganja]

I still have problems with it too, it's a constant struggle but I have noticed things work out better when I don't get frustrated. I got that Medditerranian blood in me....sometimes I still blow my top. I think you started a good thread here, I wouldn't call it a pity party it's more like a rollitup.org round table on our problems. That's why I like it here at rollitup.org...full of good people. ALL of the other forums I visited are full of newbie bashing and disrespect.

That's nice to know. I've seen other forums, but rollitup was the first one I got involved with, plus its laid back like me and I like all yall. I know the people here now and yall know me. Well..... we're "familiar" with eachother I think would be a more fitting term. Familiar with eachother and to some extent, eachother's lives. I've even managed to get a first name out of someone lol, kidding, but seriously man, when I want a good group of people to go to and cheer my stonin' ass up, this is pretty much where I go. Its funny how people look at you differently when you become anti-social. I figured they'd still look at me the same, since I did it by choice. In high school, I was put in the runnings for prom King, and almost won that shit. Popularity has never been a problem for me to obtain, neither has anything else I ever wanted. But its not these "things" that make me happy, its the people I was planning on enjoying the fruits of my labor with, and now they're dieing, I'm older now, and more responsable. The more responsable you are, the more responsability people are going to put on your shoulders.

----Side Note----
​

If we're gonna keep this thread going, I'd like to say something right now and get it out of the way that may bypass any future stress within these posts. We all got problems. To compare one's problems to someone elses is straight up FOOLISH, do not do that. I don't compare my problems to an eleven year old with neural cancer, or to anyone elses losses at all. The fact that one person's problems are greater than another's does not mean the other person is still not suffering. If you see someone hurting, its only common courtesy not to make them feel like such a "girl" for crying or whatever. Everyone hurts, some people can take more shit than others though. By saying this I do not signify disacknowledgement to anyone elses problems that they feel they want to post here, no matter how substantial the difference in severity. "Whew!" Lots of big words there. I think I may have even made up a couple lol. I know you guys are high! I'm sorry I know it sucks reading my posts with 18 letter words, but thanks for yer patience!

 

[heymo85]

That's nice to know. I've seen other forums, but rollitup was the first one I got involved with, plus its laid back like me and I like all yall. I know the people here now and yall know me. Well..... we're "familiar" with eachother I think would be a more fitting term. Familiar with eachother and to some extent, eachother's lives. I've even managed to get a first name out of someone lol, kidding, but seriously man, when I want a good group of people to go to and cheer my stonin' ass up, this is pretty much where I go. Its funny how people look at you differently when you become anti-social. I figured they'd still look at me the same, since I did it by choice. In high school, I was put in the runnings for prom King, and almost won that shit. Popularity has never been a problem for me to obtain, neither has anything else I ever wanted. But its not these "things" that make me happy, its the people I was planning on enjoying the fruits of my labor with, and now they're dieing, I'm older now, and more responsable. The more responsable you are, the more responsability people are going to put on your shoulders.

----Side Note----​

If we're gonna keep this thread going, I'd like to say something right now and get it out of the way that may bypass any future stress within these posts. We all got problems. To compare one's problems to someone elses is straight up FOOLISH, do not do that. I don't compare my problems to an eleven year old with neural cancer, or to anyone elses losses at all. The fact that one person's problems are greater than another's does not mean the other person is still not suffering. If you see someone hurting, its only common courtesy not to make them feel like such a "girl" for crying or whatever. Everyone hurts, some people can take more shit than others though. By saying this I do not signify disacknowledgement to anyone elses problems that they feel they want to post here, no matter how substantial the difference in severity. "Whew!" Lots of big words there. I think I may have even made up a couple lol. I know you guys are high! I'm sorry I know it sucks reading my posts with 18 letter words, but thanks for yer patience!

lol i loved it...its deep...
girl or gay ill take bets
oh and its true..real men dont cry..and im nothing more than a young punk...ask anyone ask fdd hel tell ya but he still loves me..why cant you??

 

[fdd2blk]

i love you mo. in a manly way.

 

[heymo85]

i love you mo. in a manly way.

dude the fuckin chat wont load for me does it work for you??i tried a few weeks ago and again today and it wouldnt load either time.
i love you too