MarijuanaMomma
Member
Inner peace; the calm swirling pools in my soul where the water slows to meander and rest..
Outer chaos; others thoughts are like bullets, I am constantly caught in the crossfire
Memories of trauma threaten to swallow me whole
I come with good intentions, the very purest I can muster. I want to be love, I want to be light, I seek to help and to understand.
But you melt down my perfect walls, and I see my monsters and demons come crawling out of my depths to destroy this fragile seed of love you have tenderly planted in my soul.
Some days I fight and I can fight with the zeal of the mighty warrior I have become. I remember who I am and I am always victorious. I remember my head bestows a crown of such splendor even the flowers are in awe
Other days the darkness creeps in, and its sullen shades corrupt my views, confusing my feelings, challenging every good I have ever come to believe. Directing me back to the cold, painful staleness of the dark.
Some days you come in like a mighty flood, the doors of my heart are flung wide open, and I embrace you upon greeting, my heart is fully captivated in your embrace. You can soothe away every worry and fear, and I willingly become swept up in your glorious light believing for the best in everything and everyone. Those days I can truly stretch out my wings in their entirety, and not fear the amazing heights
And some days you come in to find my heart vacant, things are in order, but seem so empty and deep Those are the very days I lose myself in my pain and need your help most desperately to lift me to a safer shore. To soothe the scars from the past, running so deep, hurting so fiercely they threaten to take the air from my lungs... Why oh why are those the days that I fight you the fiercest?
The monsters and demons creep in out of the dark, in my most secret and vulnerable times, when I have bared my soul to you, and am standing there naked, longing to find my footing on grounds that are forever quaking.
When I can banish the fear and lies that tell me I am worthless and of no value to you, those days are glorious and feel as if they are the warmest days of the summer with the heat of your warmth upon my face, causing me to open as a delicate flower, and follow your light...
I struggle to remember to bring my heart back to thoughts of love and gratitude; those vibrations that bring balance, warmth and peace to my very soul. Sometimes the pain is so great, that even the smallest things I could take great thanks in yesterday, fail to even encourage a lifted brow today..
I desire to promise you I will always try, as I always do. My heart was both made for and found in You Even when my reflection in the mirror fades to unrecognizable distortions, I promise to try with all my heart, to see beyond this earthly vision and stretch my mind to believe in something better I promise to stand and fight when I need to, but more importantly I promise to lay down my weapons more frequently, sometimes I simply forget I am not still on the battle field in your presence. I will strive daily to tune my heart to the frequency of your love, for which I am forever grateful
Outer chaos; others thoughts are like bullets, I am constantly caught in the crossfire
Memories of trauma threaten to swallow me whole
I come with good intentions, the very purest I can muster. I want to be love, I want to be light, I seek to help and to understand.
But you melt down my perfect walls, and I see my monsters and demons come crawling out of my depths to destroy this fragile seed of love you have tenderly planted in my soul.
Some days I fight and I can fight with the zeal of the mighty warrior I have become. I remember who I am and I am always victorious. I remember my head bestows a crown of such splendor even the flowers are in awe
Other days the darkness creeps in, and its sullen shades corrupt my views, confusing my feelings, challenging every good I have ever come to believe. Directing me back to the cold, painful staleness of the dark.
Some days you come in like a mighty flood, the doors of my heart are flung wide open, and I embrace you upon greeting, my heart is fully captivated in your embrace. You can soothe away every worry and fear, and I willingly become swept up in your glorious light believing for the best in everything and everyone. Those days I can truly stretch out my wings in their entirety, and not fear the amazing heights
And some days you come in to find my heart vacant, things are in order, but seem so empty and deep Those are the very days I lose myself in my pain and need your help most desperately to lift me to a safer shore. To soothe the scars from the past, running so deep, hurting so fiercely they threaten to take the air from my lungs... Why oh why are those the days that I fight you the fiercest?
The monsters and demons creep in out of the dark, in my most secret and vulnerable times, when I have bared my soul to you, and am standing there naked, longing to find my footing on grounds that are forever quaking.
When I can banish the fear and lies that tell me I am worthless and of no value to you, those days are glorious and feel as if they are the warmest days of the summer with the heat of your warmth upon my face, causing me to open as a delicate flower, and follow your light...
I struggle to remember to bring my heart back to thoughts of love and gratitude; those vibrations that bring balance, warmth and peace to my very soul. Sometimes the pain is so great, that even the smallest things I could take great thanks in yesterday, fail to even encourage a lifted brow today..
I desire to promise you I will always try, as I always do. My heart was both made for and found in You Even when my reflection in the mirror fades to unrecognizable distortions, I promise to try with all my heart, to see beyond this earthly vision and stretch my mind to believe in something better I promise to stand and fight when I need to, but more importantly I promise to lay down my weapons more frequently, sometimes I simply forget I am not still on the battle field in your presence. I will strive daily to tune my heart to the frequency of your love, for which I am forever grateful
