EGADS! - the Eeden Garden Automatic Demonic System

EGADS! – the Eeden Garden Automatic Demonic System
4/05/2009
Day one of my garden journal, well sorta. This whole thing started as a crazy thought over a month ago and has since … well, grown like a weed. It didn’t seem like a real possibility at first, and maybe it still isn’t, but we’re gonna find out.

Now my moniker is budbulldog, but you can call me bud or bulldog or bull, or just dog, or even BB, but you doesn’t has to call me Johnson. (A lot of this stuff won’t make a lick of sense except to old farts like me.) I’ve been reading like crazy – and reading a lot OF crazy – til I think now I can get in here and contribute. I hope so, cuz a lot of hero types have helped us in sooo many ways, and I’d like to help if I can. Of course there will be a lot less helping than trying, mistaking, and learning, but I hope to give back a little. Pass to the left, you know.

I’m still a stranger, but until I get to be a strangest, I’ll just keep on keeping on. My rank won’t go up very fast cuz I don’t post questions unless I can’t find the answer. Of course sometimes there are so many answers I will need to ask the pros which they prefer. Even the Gods don’t agree on everything; in fact mythology tells us they disagreed constantly, so what are the odds against we mere mortals and fools?

The name I gave my endeavor is presumptuous, pretentious and preposterous I know, but wait til you see the potential packed into it. At some point that chill up your spine and cold toes will mean it knocks your sox off. That sounds like bragging but I don’t mean it that way at all. I just like solving problems and I have a bit of a knack for it. Your genes and environment define you but your efforts refine you; hopefully into a more pure substance. I’m just sitting in my recliner smelting.

OK, enough windy, let’s get to the sunny and bright.
The basics are simple enough, all grows need them and I won’t regurgitate them here, to keep this short. (too late!)

Some details:
This will be a bubbler using only CFL to start (more about light later), based on the Rubbermaid Roughneck 18 gal./68.1L storage box. The label lists the dimensions as 23.9”x15.9”x16.5”. About $9 each at Lowes. I will use one in the beginning, then three, and more later. (The first hint of it’s great appeal.)
That is a pretty common setup, nothing new, (wait for it), tried, tested and proved. That’s why I chose it. If I ignored what the experts teach us you would not respect me in the mourning, after the girls all died.
Toke time. More later.

EGADS!

I was blind, but now I see. So many people I don’t even know are owed huge thanks.

When you stand on the shoulders of giants, the view is GOOD!

I will try to credit the main usual suspects, and where they hide out, but brevity demands that many will get left out. One thing about great ideas, they often lead to more good ideas. I think I have a few worth sharing. I’ll let you decide. BTW I welcome any and all comments and/or questions; the more the merrier.

K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid – was popularized because of people like me who have the inner urge to over-think EVERYTHING. Nevertheless, sometimes it works. It’s always in the details and there are so damn many of them! I’m always thinking ‘What if…..’ and sometimes it works.

These are the main goals I have in mind:

Stealth above all else. Having no weed is bad, but getting busted for growing, your girls slaughtered, and jail time to think about how you screwed the pooch is a LOT worse. First rule: Don’t get caught.

Equal opportunity stoning. Shouldn’t folks with few resources and less money get high too? After all, they (we) need it more than the rich bastards do. Hell, my budget is why I got interested in DIY to begin with. That, along with my paranoia, keeps me searching for solutions that suit my style.

Easy does it. Above all my other sterling qualities - like stubbornness, arrogance, selfishness, etc - right at the top of the list, first and foremost I am lazy. If I’m going to work this hard to grow tomatoes, it better not be labor intensive. If I wanted something with high maintenance, I’d get married.

Timely timing. Yes, I want all that and I want it now! Well at least real soon. I have nothing the devil would want, so I’ll bargain with Mother Nature. I will provide all the things She requires, in return for speedy results. All the tricks y’all have learned and shared give me a little leverage in that area.

Ok, we have secret, cheap, available, easy, simple and quick. What else? How about QUALITY? Oh yes, I want head rushes, not headaches. I love the internet. Finally, the real answers are out there, and we’re even asking the right questions for a change.

That will do for now. Refinements will follow as I tackle the tasks already at hand. Remember, your input of any kind is appreciated.
Up next: An outline of the specific plans so far, followed by some details, and then even more details.
Bear with me as I bull my way up the streets of Potplona.

EGADS!

Entry #3 – 4/06/2009
Baby steps. The more I consider this whole thing, the bigger the job gets. I just can’t stop improving it, so b4 I ruin it I need to take a step back. There is nothing terribly difficult about any of the numerous steps involved except for two.

My two biggest obstacles to any goal are always the same. They are:
#1. Get started working. Think less – do more.
#2. Finish the damn thing!
If I can get a handle on #1, I’ll get around to #2 maybe, but first things first.

This constitutes the ‘outline of specific plans so far’ I mentioned earlier. In other words, the plan for today is get off my ass and get on the ball. I’ll start by updating my journal. If you’re reading this it worked. (And so did I.)


Most of my efforts up to now have involved research, planning and shopping. That damn shopping thing can get out of hand quick! Meanwhile back at the ranch, Mother Nature waits for no man. I have finally failed enough to get some good results from my mix and my seeds. My CFLs and water have brought two new babies into my home. Their names are Abby and Babs. (This naming thing is handy – it eliminates lots of extraneous extrapolation – except I expect to hate it when I have to kill them.)

Ppl will tell you not to mess around with bagseed – you won’t like your results. They are right.

The exception to that rule is ppl who excel at exterminating plants without really trying to. That would be me. So pick out the healthy looking beans in the bag and carefully keep them, unless that is not an issue for u. Just think of it as the driving range approach. If u put enough balls into the water, u will someday reach the green. Expense IS an issue for me so going to the seed banks has its limits. After all, they don’t use Cadillacs to give teenagers driving lessons. Well, Belair is different.


BTW, when I say something like “carefully keep them”, please don’t reply with a post that goes like this:
“Which ones r th best to keep, and how can I tell seeds r female? How many should I keep? Will they be ok in the console of my mini-van?”
This sort of thing will not help u and it will annoy me. You wouldn’t like me when I get annoyed.
I am eager to teach if I can, but not the alphabet to toddlers. My time is better spent reading what the pros write so I can learn. Who knows, it might even work for u too. I will try to be accurate and detailed when necessary but I hope most of you don’t want me to explain why plants need oxygen or why they are green. Those r other threads. The search tool is your friend. Be not afraid.

Conversely, I will often seem quite ignorant, because I am. Know-it-alls actually don’t u know. A few real simple things still escape my range of skills and digging for them is not time well spent, since u guys know how now. Two things I need some guidance on: First, how do I put a link to my journal into my sig, and second, where did all those cool avatars come from? Some of the active ones crack me up. The first time that little bug in the white box showed up I almost slapped my laptop.

I mentioned my mix, so I’ll explain that now. For some of us Rockwool and other things are hard to find, so where I can I will use very common items. I know Rockwool is everywhere, but not really. For some reason it’s rare where I am, so I plan to germinate in soil and potty train the babes at the right age. Since I will use net pots, I need soil that knows when to go home at the right time, and I wanted to help them grow if I can, so yard dirt is not an option. After a LOT of reading I decided to mix my own.

Using ratios makes it suitable to any volume, so I will speak of ‘parts’, but it’s not an act.
It looks like this:
1 part (by volume) playground sand
2 parts peat moss
2 parts perlite
2 parts humus/manure mix
3 parts top soil (Any major brand – must be dry, and break up any clumps.)
Be on the lookout for rocks and sticks etc. They just get in the way, so set them aside to put in someone’s stocking next Christmas.
You can dump all this into a big bag and shake it. That might work. But I just thought of it now, so I did mine in pots. Just make sure it’s mixed well, whatever ratio and/or ingredients u use. If all the sand is in the bottom, it may as well not be included at all - u want the mix consistent throughout.

I use the egg crate type (NOT real egg cartons – they work but the whole procedure might be different) germination trays. I know how wet the mix is by seeing and touching the little 5-sided cube and it’s easy to add water from the bottom. They come empty or filled with peat moss (usually) and a group of them will not tip over and spill. Scissors are all I need to separate the fast learners from the late poppers.
I dumped out the moss content and replaced it with my own mix, then wet it down and let it sit over night, while the beans spend the night in a cup of water. The next day I add a little water to the tray if needed, or if they seem too wet, I set them on some newspaper (cheaper than paper towels) for a while. [Do NOT accidently set them on your ShamWow – it will suck the seed inside out, letting all its energy escape out a black hole!] Any beans that fail the float test are discarded, and the rest go into the mix, one in each little cube or pot (you may be using the orange round ones – they work about the same) about ¼”-1/2” deep. At this point clear plastic wrap on top with holes for ventilation is called for, but I hear a different drummer.

The idea is that they need time, moisture, air, and warmth, but no light for now, so I do it this way:
Lay drinking straws, tubing, pencils, or even wooden spoons across the top of the germ tray, slightly past the edges. Lay a thermometer over the tray so the bulb is toward the center and the 60-100F range extends past the edge enough to be visible when covered. (We want to know the temp under the plastic, not on top of or above it.) Here's a neat trick u must include: From the side of a styrafoam cup, cut out a 2"x2" square and place it over the bulb of the therm. with the curve forming an arch over it. if u don't the reading will be falsly high from contact with the black plastic. Cover all this with a black plastic sheet or bag (flat) big enough to hang over the edges an inch or two – more is ok. No holes are needed cuz the straws/spoons allow air circulation. Now I put a couple of CFLs over the whole thing to keep it warm. It’s a good idea to pre-create this setup (sans seeds) the day before, since we want sprouts, not steamed beans. This is not a cooking show. Conditions vary, and the temp is critical, ergo the thermometer. To regulate the temp, I adjust the light height and/or blow some gentle air into the situation. A little weight on the corners will keep it all stable. I shoot for 78-80 f. (Anyone know how to type the ‘degree’ symbol? – I know how to insert it in word, but I doubt that works in the forum.)

This all sounds screwy and complicated, I know, but it actually is quite easy and a method lays hiding in the weeds. At this point stealth is not yet a concern. What pot? Where? (I actually have pretty good camouflage cuz this is just part of my/our whole garden. I love fresh home grown tomatoes and I will soon learn how much they like bubblers. Just imagine inflated watermelons!)

The nice part about this is that I am almost finished until its potting time. The next day, remove the weights – if u needed them – and gently lift the black plastic to take a peek inside. Don’t worry about the lights, ur not flowering yet. There is really no need for this except that you are hopeful and optimistic and you want to get lucky. To avoid disappointment u can wait one more day. No guarantee you won’t be sad then too, but it’s early, and maybe something new WILL be there to greet you.
If you DO see a gleam of green, HOORAY. Now, put the cover back on and go watch TV. You will be tempted to keep looking at it/them but the scientific method (Google it) states that merely observing an incident affects it. Newborns need lots of sleep. Do u like it when some huge loud monster disturbs ur rest? The NEXT day is when u get to play with the gifts from God.
And then – tomorrow – is when I will continue this.
p.s.
I hadn’t planned all this detail so early, but I have seen no such setup described and I would like to know if I have missed something, like any typical newbie. It has not been tested to any degree so my results don’t mean much yet. To those who are thinking ‘Dude, just put a heat mat under it’, u may be right. I know lots of ppl do that. My thinking is that in nature the warmth comes from ABOVE the ground.
Secondly, when they r big enough (2-3 days), the black sheet of night time comes off and voila, the sun and air are already there waiting and welcome. EVERYTHING stays right where it is until its potting time, except for minor adjustments to lights and fan(s) to regulate temps. I’m not counting cuddling them, that’s playtime, not work.
So tell me what you think.

EGADS!

BTW i'm wondering how many have noticed that the PH scale has an eroneos factor built in?
i was in the Sog Grow Room Op thread in Grow Journals, a fantastic source for info which i would link here if i just knew how.
post #4 is "GROWERS HYDROPONIC DICTIONARY", by SOG, and it is the place to go any time you don't regognize an important term.

anyway, the PH scale is from 1 to 14, with 7 considered neutral but it is not the midpoint of the scale, that would be 6.5, and 0-14 would make 7 the true middle.

is this why plants like a slightly acidic medium so well?