Funny 1 Liners ;) Post em up !

Post em up guys !

here we go :


Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? <-------- I FUCKING DONT KNOW

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? ROFL !


Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!! !AS!ASD!ASF!


If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"




If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?

???

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?




LOOOOOL THIS ONE IS SO RACSIT AND FUNNY !

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

DWR said:

Post em up guys !

here we go :


Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? <-------- I FUCKING DONT KNOW

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? ROFL !


Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!! !AS!ASD!ASF!


If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"




If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?

???

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?




LOOOOOL THIS ONE IS SO RACSIT AND FUNNY !

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Click to expand...

I do it to hear myself talk, because if I hear the address it'd help me remember it a lot better, i'v looked directly at what i needed before and just kept on truckin' lol then when i say it im' like aww fuq i just seen it.

The bogeyman checks his closet every night for Chuck Norris.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

if your driving down the road and u throw a cat out ur window does it become kitty litter?

if a chronic liar tells you hes a chronic liar do you believe him?

chuck norris doesnt teabag he potato sacks =]

I'm not a full blooded jew, I'm jew-ish...

If you rape a prostitute is it considered shoplifting?

never got the chance to use this one, a guy to guy 'joke', though no laughs probably - this for your asshole of a boss

'give me the rest of the day off, and i'll show you how to screw your wife properly'

I like my woman like I like my coffee... ground up and in the freezer.

(Sorry for the Racist)
Whats a Vietnamese and a Nigger make?..
Vinegar..

Its so dumb it makes you laugh..

Youngbud510 said:

(Sorry for the Racist)
Whats a Vietnamese and a Nigger make?..
Vinegar..

Its so dumb it makes you laugh..

Click to expand...

I'm an offended black male!




LOL

Benassi said:

I'm an offended black male!




LOL

Click to expand...

Lol... Its funny tho Right?

Disclaimer: This is a joke, not to be taken seriously in any way, or meant to be offensive, do not read this if you are jewish, or a mod

How many jews can fit in a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 20 in the ashtray

MexicanWarlord420 said:

Disclaimer: This is a joke, not to be taken seriously in any way, or meant to be offensive, do not read this if you are jewish, or a mod

How many jews can fit in a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 20 in the ashtray

Click to expand...

Old joke is old... shock humor has gone up a notch today man.

Youngbud510 said:

(Sorry for the Racist)
Whats a Vietnamese and a Nigger make?..
Vinegar..

Its so dumb it makes you laugh..

Click to expand...

ROFL !!!!!!!


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i love this one

[FONT=Comic Sans MS, Arial]I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. [/FONT]

if a syncronized swimmer drowns do the rest follow??

[FONT=Comic Sans MS, Arial]I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. [/FONT]

ahhhhh

[FONT=Comic Sans MS, Arial]I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! [/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS, Arial]If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it. [/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS, Arial]Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them. [/FONT]

-- It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

-- Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

-- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

-- Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

-- Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

-- Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

-- Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "U-C-K?"

A: Fire truck -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.

-- Man and mouse are the same -- both end up in p**sy.

-- Man with hole in his pocket feels cocky all day.

-- Man who masturbates into cash register will soon be coming into money.

-- Impotence is nature's way of saying "no hard feelings."