Great Stoner Quotes

From my fav movie of all time

Thurgood "Dude you have finally done it, you have officially smoked yourself retarted"

coke addict " Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana"

^^i think its funny that bob sagget was the coke addict in that movie^^

"I think we're weedaholics. We need to go to WA, I bet we could meet some awesome hookups there." -- My ex.

"Time is going really slow...and I think we're dead. Yeah, we're dead."

"man why the fuck do i always have to take a shit when im high"

When my friend said this, i was dying....

my boy-"these straws suck"

me-"we need some sort of gasoline powered super straw"



lil' chef diner R.I.P.

Comment From Friend: "Dude, fat Kids totally are harder to kidnapp ... that sucks ..."
Me: "But don't worry man, they're totally easier to snipe ... "

Ever wonder why we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

"take your nostrilles on an individual journey to funky town an smell my nuts 3 times"

"hey...that shits like imPOSSible man...."

said by my VERY stoned friend after he had just spent 15 minutes trying to lick his elbow because I told him I'd give him something if he could do it.

"its not you its me" said the dirty skank that left...

ME: dude, do you think it hurts weed and ciggarretes wen smoked?
FRIEND: no, why?
ME: because there alive
FRIEND: i never thought of it that way
ME: ahhhh!!!....
FRIEND: what?
ME: they joint just burnt me
FRIEND: im spinning...

IDK, JUST THOUGHT ID SHARE A GOOD HIGH TIME WITH YOU ALL..=]

Me to a friend after just bitching him out for no reason: "Oh baby I'm not yelling at you I'm just yelling at the devil inside yah"

"No sorry man i'm all out" said I to the scavenger

Responsibility is a heavy responsibility!

ALSSOOOOO

Hey how am I driving, man?

I think we're parked man..


greatest part of the movie

*cop knocking on the window*

I hear chu knocking but chu can't come it!

every time i leave the house i think i forgot somthing,think know i got everything,get to were im going only to realize i forgot something.....dam short term memory loss..

Me: *perfectly impersonating Barney Rubble* You know what they say about me Fred, I'm ONE SICK MOTHERFUCKER, heehuhuhuhuhuhooo....

Oh yeah, and this one:

"I saw them planets. The big one was makin' eyes at me ... so I fired a couple of rounds into the air. Showed it who's boss."
~Close friend, referring to the planetary alignment of a few years back (Mars, Venus and Jupiter were in this straight line ... clearly visible, even in the city.)