I blacked out at the casino last night.

i didn't know it was possible for me to get that drunk off of only beer.. i don't remember much at all towards the end of the night.
I was having a good night at poker. I remember taking 200 there, and I woke up in my bed this afternoon with 700, that's the only good thing I can say.
Woke up to one of the worst hangovers I've ever had. It's after 6 pm and I'm still in bed feeling like shit.
So my brother came in this afternoon to check on me and pointed out a large puke stain on the foot of the bed. At first I thought I shit the bed cause it looked more like diarea than puke, but smelled like puke. Then it took me about an hour of stumbling around my bedroom to find my glasses. Then I started noticing this god awful stench of puke. Then I notice what looks like a large half dried up pile of straight up diarea! Beyond gross. All I can remember eating yesterday was 3 eggs and a piece of toast for breakfast.
I think I may have been near death last night and I don't think I'll be drinking beer anytime soon...
Thanks for reading. Sorry it got a little nasty. Lol

Lmao

Don't be a pussy. Crack a cold one and kill that hangover.

Did your butthole hurt this morning?

Limburger cheeseish.

Still have both kidneys?

Imagine your brother finding you dead in diarrhea. Don't go out like that.

Singlemalt said:

Still have both kidneys?

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Yes, how about yourself?

Dr.Pecker said:

Yes, how about yourself?

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Was addressing the OP.

Dead in diarrhea sounds like bad way to go.
↑
Yes, how about yourself?
Was addressing the OP. I know.

1.)you won $700
2.)you made it into your bed without a dui
3.)you didn't actually shit IN your bed.

this near death experience of yours was better than any of my best nights drinking

edit have you come to terms that it was diarrhea?because it was...

texasjack said:

Imagine your brother finding you dead in diarrhea. Don't go out like that.

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No shit

Could have been funnier

Will Ferrell said:

... So my mother came in this afternoon to check on me and pointed out a large puke stain on the foot of the bed. At first I thought I shit the bed cause it looked more like diarea than puke, but smelled like puke. Then it took me about an hour of stumbling around my bedroom to find my glasses. Then I started noticing this god awful stench of puke. Then I notice what looks like a large half dried up pile of straight up diarea! Beyond gross. All I can remember eating yesterday was 3 eggs and a piece of toast for breakfast.
I think I may have been near death last night and I don't think I'll be drinking beer anytime soon...
Thanks for reading. Sorry it got a little nasty. Lol

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Fify

if your jaw doesnt hurt and you're not walking funny, go with it

lokie said:

Could have been funnier
View attachment 3811834

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Don't remember much? Came home with $500 more than you left with? Hmm.
Sounds like some sort of prostition?

Will Ferrell said:

i didn't know it was possible for me to get that drunk off of only beer.. i don't remember much at all towards the end of the night.
I was having a good night at poker. I remember taking 200 there, and I woke up in my bed this afternoon with 700, that's the only good thing I can say.
Woke up to one of the worst hangovers I've ever had. It's after 6 pm and I'm still in bed feeling like shit.
So my brother came in this afternoon to check on me and pointed out a large puke stain on the foot of the bed. At first I thought I shit the bed cause it looked more like diarea than puke, but smelled like puke. Then it took me about an hour of stumbling around my bedroom to find my glasses. Then I started noticing this god awful stench of puke. Then I notice what looks like a large half dried up pile of straight up diarea! Beyond gross. All I can remember eating yesterday was 3 eggs and a piece of toast for breakfast.
I think I may have been near death last night and I don't think I'll be drinking beer anytime soon...
Thanks for reading. Sorry it got a little nasty. Lol

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Please tell me you didn't drive in that condition. Glad you're ok. I'm surprised the shit stain dried so fast. Are you sure it wasn't from another time?

Hookabelly said:

Please tell me you didn't drive in that condition. Glad you're ok. I'm surprised the shit stain dried so fast. Are you sure it wasn't from another time?

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Oh no I think there's 0% chance I could have even made it out of the parking lot. I had my good ole brother there for my desi and also I guess my baby sitter.

I'm still not fully convinced it was shit. It just looked like shit. Kinda had a watery but dried up wolf brand chilli look to it. Smelled very much like puke. And I checked myself and didn't notice any shit on me, so I have no idea. But on the other hand, I didn't have any puke in my beard or face or anything. And my pillows seemed completely clean.

I found out a little more info today about what all went down. I think most importantly I wasn't being a drunken bafoon. Sometimes when I get really really drunk I can get extremely obnoxious and rude, so I've been told. So that's something I've been working on for about a year, just trying not to be a giant douche. But he said I wasn't being rude or anything, but by the end of the night, everyone was kinda ready for me to go because I was "slowing down the game".
I'm also pondering if i should even ever go back there. For one, im embarrassed. And two, my brother tells me that most people at the table, including staff were encouraging me to drink more. My very last memory of the night was the cocktail waitress telling me I owe her ten dollars for the two beers she was holding. Apparently they called last round and I requested two beers. Then my brother tells me the staff said I had to chug the two beers or else they would have to pour it out. Then they basically kicked us out ten minutes after I finished the beer...
So I'm thinking those last two beers is what did me in... Idk I'm kinda pissed about the whole thing because you would think they would cut me off before they kick me out.. But then again I think I'm too old to still be doing dumb shit like that..
Idk but I still feel like shit though..
On a good note I haven't had a cigarette all day today and only had 3 yesterday. So I think this all has somehow given me motivation to try and quit again. I guess we'll see what happens a week from now. Thanks again for reading

ah yes,what would a Sunday be after a good bender without the self loathing and regret lol.just ride it out Cap,you'll be back there in no time and they all will be happy to see you.

good luck with the cigs.fucking things are worse than bath salts