Opiate Addiction @ 20mg a day?!

For the past 6 months I have been prescribed Lortab 10mg. The first 3 months I was taking the maximum daily dosage of 4 pills a day. I had a breakdown after those 3 months and weened myself down to 1-2 a day with the help of xanax. Some days I take a max of 2 day, breaking them into (4) 5mg doses.

I now feel like shit. I just went 24 hours without any and I broke down and took 5mg to help the edge. I am depressed. I have a lot of drugs at my disposal, dmt, pot, a host of benzo's and around 200 lortab 10's.

Most people would be in heaven with all these drugs to help regulate them. However I don't have an urge to even smoke pot (it's upper class mid grade shit) and maybe it's the quality of the smoke, but it just gives me a headache, and a reason to justify popping another opiate.

I know I post some silly shit, but this is for realziez. It's new years eve night and not a single friend has called me to come hang out. And even if they did, I wouldn't. I am not in a mood to be social and not much of a drinker anymore. Am I growing up? This is probably my own doing. I turn friends down to hang out all the time, and it's not personal, I just am tired and kind of want to isolate myself in front of my computer/PS3/turntables.

The only thing I have to look forward to is seeing my girl when she gets back in town and the NY strip steak on the foreman. Oh yea, the AK, Violator Kush, and White Widow a friend of a friend has goin

Why am I so depressed? Please don't suggest SSRI's or tricyclics, I have been down that road years ago and don't like the thought of living my life on anti-depressants. It's fucking cold out and I just want to be in the sun on a beach. Unfortunatley I can't afford to abandon my responsibilities, ie work, family, school and who has money to do that shit anymore with the economy sucking ass like it does.

I need help =(

that sucks dude. if it helps at least you don't live in a box in africa with flies buzzing around you're head. opiate addiction sucks, but i don't have much experience other than the occasional tab 10. but if you've got some tree and it actually has no seeds , be fuckin happy man. i've got like a half gram of some brown babbage to last me until tomorrow. relax, roll a joint and toke in the new year for me bro. hope ya cheer up.

winter blahs. i'm feeling it as well. it will be spring soon enough.

I have had to take narcotics before when I broke my back etc. Yes you will get addicted, there will be physical withdrawl symptoms and it will not be fun to kick. I would describe it like a really bad cold sweating flu with added anxiety and sense of urgent panic. The doc that put me on oxy was no better than a crack dealer on the street. That fucker required me to take them all the time daily and pass pee tests to prove it was in my system all the time. Fucker!

Anyway yes, it will sap all the seratonin out of your system or something that seems to give that effect and it takes a month or two after you stop to start finding enjoyment in anything. Life seems dead and blah at the point you're at and won't instantly get better is what I'm saying.

But it will get better, just quit and move on to weed only and in a couple months you'll be back to normal.

i've got like a half gram of some brown babbage to last me until tomorrow. relax, roll a joint and toke in the new year for me bro. hope ya cheer up.

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Thanks, I guess I was spoiled for a long while a few years back when I used to grow. NL x Silver Haze.. now a days I have to take a break from this mid grade shit just so I can enjoy it again a few weeks later. I will certainly be smoking one at midnight for you.

winter blahs. i'm feeling it as well. it will be spring soon enough.

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Why do we do this to ourselves? All my original old school friends have left for warmer climates. Because of my family all living here, I feel like moving is scary, yet year after year, my depression triples in the winter. Do I have to lay under a 1000w HPS to feel a little more balanced?!

Another theory is the DMT. I tripped off it a few days ago, not heavily though. Maybe 15mg, very upper shelf threshhold experience. I wonder if that has any bearing on my mental state and physiology right now.

Now that it's been 30 min or so since i took 5mg of Lortab, I feel normal again. Not high at all, or dopey, just "normal" like I think I should feel, or at least "normal" as in how I have felt for the past 3 months after cutting my dose to 5mg (4x a day)

maybe you just need a good flushing. clean up for 2 weeks or so.

Anyway yes, it will sap all the seratonin out of your system or something that seems to give that effect and it takes a month or two after you stop to start finding enjoyment in anything. Life seems dead and blah at the point you're at and won't instantly get better is what I'm saying.

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Does it really drain your Seratonin? If so maybe 5-HTP would be a good supplement along with a Centrum multi vitamin to help with the lack of Vitamin D.. Thanks for this idea. If it wasn't new years night I would be driving in a blizzard looking for 5-HTP =)

look i havnt read the whole thread but im going ot offer you some food for thought. time heals all things number 1 #2 ook to the tings that you do have be gratefull for them you have a family and a jiob many dont at this time! as for your freinds people get stuck in ruts in life and never get out 90 percent of my highschool freindws are still doing the same thing and not callin me ive moved on to better thigns and realzed the potenial in life also life dosnt have to revolve around drugs youll come to a point which you may have your jsut sick of the same old monotany also another thing fo ryou great therapy get out of your house go do things w the fam keep your mind off drugs then there wont be as great a desire you wont be bored etc..

that definately sounds like addiction, go to a pain clinic and ask to get some methadone or seboxins(definitely misspelled) my neighbor was hooked on those oscar 80's. snorted like 2 a day.

the 12 step program will work wonders but you need to apply yourself and wanna help yourself as well ...... then after u kick your opiate addiction you can just smoke pot

that definately sounds like addiction, go to a pain clinic and ask to get some methadone or seboxins(

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I agree with you, I am addicted to them, but were talking a maximum daily intake of 20mg of hydrocodone. I can stop taking them all together, and I should as many of you have suggested, and I probably will. I want to feel happy again without these pills. My motivation is non existent. I just got a call to go to party not far away and seeing as I needed a hair cut like 2 weeks ago, I will most likely being passing on that offer.

I realize I have much much more than most, and I hope it doesn't sound like I am not grateful for that. I am, I just don't think I am all that balanced upstairs right now, and it's clouding my ability to feel good.

Thanks for the advice guys, the internet is better than the hundred dollar trip to the shrink.