bluetick
Well-Known Member
DEMOCRATIC: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk another, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all of the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creatures private parts. You get a $40 million dollar grant from the US Govt to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk another, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all of the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creatures private parts. You get a $40 million dollar grant from the US Govt to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
