reaction: Dems vs Repubs

Spitzered said:

I'd like to take credit for this but..... Its an email I got some time ago.
If you have already seen it plz ignore it.

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide:


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock
Cal. 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
_____________________________________________________________________
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me, If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
_____________________________________________________________________
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
_______________________________________________________________________
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

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Seamaiden said:

Yeah, but I like Sentient Meat better.

Sorry Spitzered, just sayin'.

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Spitzered said:

The real point is the Dems lack of action. This was just an illistration of it.

Yes, I know GK, only repubs are guilty of hate and profiling.
I tend to disagree of course. Sounds a little 'elitist' don't you think. To be a Dem is on the road to perfection. I've seen the 'Daily Kos and Hufferspost' no hate there.

Take the energy crisis for example. What exactly have the Dems done in the past year? Made the oil execs testify and get grilled by congress, and it did what?

Inaction is not the answer. Do something.


Besides to ignore the fact that there is a source of like minded people that would do you harm. But thats hateful profiling? Guilt trip not working on me, I've actually been outside the U.S., to places where these people come from. This isn't a lone gunman scenario, to ignore it or explain it away as hateful racism is probably not wise.

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ViRedd said:

As the knife plunged into the wife, the Democrat would try to hand the terrorist a note of appeasement with the last three words on the page stating: "I love you."

Vi

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medicineman said:

Not this Democrat, I shoot a 3 inch group at 30 ft with my Glock 9 and a 2-1/2 inch group with my colt .45. I also have a carry permit so I'd definently be better off than 90% of the rest of you who don't, like all those in Californication. My carry instructer said the goal was to empty a clip and have one hole, he claims he used to be able to do that, I wonder...............

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Who gives a flyin' turd?

ViRedd said:

Who gives a flyin' turd?

Vi

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medicineman said:

Well, you were referring to Democrats weren't you? I just said not this democrat and told you why, so FOAD.

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Garden Knowm said:

Action... oh yeah.. you mean al the action the republicans take without thinking..

lets go to iraq cause that GUY sadammmmm done tried to kill my daddy..

and lets bash Obama cause he has advisors regarding the russia Georgia conflict..

and yes Bush has advisors too.. like MIchael Criton for Global warming...

and Reagan had his astrologers...

c'mon... elitist... that's the best you got...


because I cook my meat I am elitiest.. or because I chew my gum after I take the rapper off.. or because I wipe my ass before I rush to yank my panties on.. you call me elitiest... ok.. that;s cool

I call that taking a breath.. and keeping it real..

I call that not reacting...


iloveyou

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Garden Knowm said:

if they kill for you.. they will also kill YOU

remember that..

a killer is a killer...

the reason he kills is ALWAYS justified..

iloveyou

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Seamaiden said:

No, it's a short story about aliens who encounter humans. Want me to put it up? It's really pretty funny (ok, maybe only to me).

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Seamaiden said:

Yes!

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Written by Terry Bisson
From "Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories"
Copyright 1994, Tor Books
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The setting is deep space, just beyond the range of Earth's best telescopes. The leader of the Fifth Explorer Force is speaking to the Commander in Chief...

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Just Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in this sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain alright. It's just that the brain is made out of meat also."

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat??? You're asking me to believe in thinking meat???"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Oh my God. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally! Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"So what does the meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping a small opening of their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Oh my God. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we delete the records and forget the whole damn thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. I mean, do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe?"

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone. What's say we get going?"
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