The American Revolution:How that shit happened

Ok, I think everything that has gone on through history is a little glorified. Since it is the past, we add magic to it. Mystery has always had its benefits in the public eye (The wizard behind the curtain), and History answers mysteries while offering them too.

So George Washington and a group of friends (I don't know specifics, so I'm gonna say...100 friends) were pissed off about taxes. So they sat around, and got drunk, and bitched about it. Like, "Why do I gotta grow the weed/cotton, then send it to them for sale. Then I also pay them for luxuries from home?"
They all got wasted and were making their points, when Thomas Jefferson chimes in with, "You know...I can write this shit REALLL fancy. And make it sound REALLY good. Then we can all sign it and send it to the king. They all agree, and are like "Hell Yeah!" and the meet continues, then they went home.
Jefferson writes for DAYS. And eventually comes back with the finalized Declaration of Independence. Everyone was excited the other day. But now they're like..."I don't know man, I mean the king has an ARMY you know."

And John Hancock was just like "FUCK the bullshit." Walked up to that piece of paper and was just like "BAM!!", signature.

So they all signed, and sent it off to the king. Now, there was no email. No phones, no textin, no anything. So when the king reads that "The Colonies" are rebeling. He "assumes" that the colonies are rebeling. BUT it's really just Washington and his friends. Not EVERYONE. But the king doesn't know that. So he sends an army. This army gets to America, and it's like. "Pay your taxes in which case maybe be considered a trator by your countrymen, and could die. Or fight, don't pay the taxes. And stop feeding these ass holes living off your household while the kill your friends." And Paul Revere and probably others, didn't help. Running around yelling about murderous red coats invading.

So it became a fight for America. I think history was made by regular people. Not mythic idols. No one is born known as a legend. you gotta earn that. And that's all they were doing. They wrote the right letter to the wrong guy, and ended up heroes.

I would say you should probably read a book or two hundred.

Start with this one if you are really interested in "how the Revolution started."

Lol. I've learned about the revolution. I know what happened. I was just simplifying it.

LOL, I don't know whats more hilarious Finshaggys post or those who thinks hes serious.

Tone doesn't translate very well.

I thought the "BAM" and stuff and guestimated friend count of G.W. would give away that it was more of a "Laments" historical account, while also pointing out that the king attacked us blindly forcing us to come together to protect ourselves. Since that is never pointed out usually.

I loved it. Especially the "I can write shit REAL fancy...." Well done.

Thanks. I just like to think back and ask "So what was going through their heads??"