Can God be . . .

a Pulse of Good energy?

Would Captain Crunch still be good if it didn't cut the roof of your mouth?

morgentaler said:

Would Captain Crunch still be good if it didn't cut the roof of your mouth?

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hahahahaha.,.,.,i am the pulse of go0d energy.,.,im the inie meanie genie that lives i ure tea kettle.,.,make a wish

captain crunch is good with it, and the cutting is def negative to the experience.
It's be godmode you must understand. The world would die from malnutrition due to eating only captaincrunch.
It's a necessary casualty in taste, save for human extinction.

crunch berries are delicious. no hurting of the mouth at all.

DJBoxhouse said:

The world would die from malnutrition due to eating only captaincrunch.

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Doctrine states that Captain Crunch is part of a "complete breakfast".

It is not the whole, it is only a part of the whole.

Without the orange juice, toast, and condiments it is simply half-hearted appeasement for the nutrition of the soul.

And ye shall remain seated, lest ye spill the milk and sour thyself with the wasted lactose of the cow-mother.

The blessed shall take the helm, and find their way to the prize inside. Second star to the right, and straight on till morning.

no. shut the fuck up and get a hair cut... j/k

is it still considered a god if it is not sentient? for that matter, define good and evil in cosmic terms.


does that complete breakfast include bacon? i just love bacon. and what about the lactose intolerant among us? will they be forever deprived of the captain's morning nutritional goodness? these seem to be rather important questions that common religious dogma doesn't even touch upon.

Bacon is optional, but encouraged.

Lactose free substitutes are acceptable. Consider it the Buddhism of the cereal worship realm.

NO! bacon is enforced

Schism erupts! I believe bacon to be the central mystery and sacrament!

shnkrmn said:

Schism erupts! I believe bacon to be the central mystery and sacrament!

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I sacrificed some bacon and some fresh chicken embryos this morning

They were delicious

though i don't believe bacon should be mandatory, i do think it should be encouraged. being too orthodox in the matter of sacraments is always a negative when contemplating which dogma to adhere to. there are several lovely pork by-products that could be used, even a beef product might be an acceptable substitute.

Ha! Is there no end to this heresy? Will you now allow texturized vegetable protein with added smoke flavor to be used at the altar in the most solemn of ceremonies???? IS there no end to this reformist mockery of the true faith?????

I go to prepare a bonfire; this evil will be rooted out!!!!

undertheice said:

though i don't believe bacon should be mandatory, i do think it should be encouraged. being too orthodox in the matter of sacraments is always a negative when contemplating which dogma to adhere to. there are several lovely pork by-products that could be used, even a beef product might be an acceptable substitute.

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i agree wholeheartedly that we should avoid tofu and its evil brethren at all costs. we must keep to the omnivorous path, embracing the carnivore within us all, if we are to have any hope of attaining a seat at the divine eatery of the afterlife, but such vile provender as "texturized vegetable protein" is unfit for any who follow the covenants of our faith. i still can't help but believe that the good captain would allow this one small substitution. though i'm sure some penance would be required, such a minor deviation within the holy sacrament can surely be excused and should never be reason enough for eternal damnation.

We must await a new revelation

but i dont like the taste of bacon... seriously, i just dont like bacon.

Philouza said:

but i don't like the taste of bacon... seriously, i just don't like bacon.

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along the way, we must all endure our trials and tribulations. though the more orthodox may consider your words blasphemy, we reformers understand your pain and would not shun you for what some might consider heresy. i would, however, suggest you contemplate whether this aversion might be the influence of the evil one, the dreaded vegan lord.

undertheice - you asked for someone to provide you with your definition

good=light
evil=dark

I believe a non-sentient god would be pretty boring.

I also believe I still have wimpy little canine teeth for a reason.

Woodstock.Hippie said:

good=light
evil=dark

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so when i turn off the lights am i surrounded by evil?

I believe a non-sentient god would be pretty boring.

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excitement is highly overrated.