You know that saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have?” This me. I don’t want to be strong anymore.
Stay strong. Good vibes are coming your way.Let’s Talk!
first of all my name is Sierra Sutherland, I’m 30 from California. I was born with a physical disability (Larsens Syndrome), which affects bones and joints. I use a wheelchair for long distances and more so over the years daily and hard of hearing. I have had over 20 surgeries growing up with more ahead including scoliosis and a c-section. In 2013, I gave birth to my son which was a surprise for my disability to be able togo as far as we did, but in 2014 my world crashed and ended up losing my son throughout the night of nov 4.
flash forward to 2021, I am now suffering with mental illness suicidal, depression, bipolar, anxiety and grief. I have questioned my parents why they chose to have me when they did, I don’t see why anyone wants me around being so upset with life. I feel like the biggest failure of a mom, friend, sister and daughter. I have messed up a couple of relationships due to my mental health, I push away the ones who try to love me. I am a very independent person, having another person makes it even harder to be happy, but I don’t want to be alone.
Anyways feel free to join in, ill update like a blog
Sometimes being strong is just getting by the momentYou know that saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have?” This me. I don’t want to be strong anymore.
i hit reply and looked at the QUOTE on my screen for a long time, thinking about what to write that could help someone that felt the need to write what you wrote. the good souls posted to help best they can, and now at my weakest in life, i must also help someone in the same dark abyss im in.You know that saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have?” This me. I don’t want to be strong anymore.
Stop lay down and breathei hit reply and looked at the QUOTE on my screen for a long time, thinking about what to write that could help someone that felt the need to write what you wrote. the good souls posted to help best they can, and now at my weakest in life, i must also help someone in the same dark abyss im in.
i listened to God, he said stop...lay down, and breath, that's all i require of you. Cry if you must, i will hold your hand and head till you find solace.
A broken soul is a scary thing to look at, so be a beautiful thing in this world...smile for me, just once...it is all i require of you
It's a diagnosable disorder in the DSM V and I remember it from the DSM II (back when I was in school)Hey Sierra, I won't be a dick and say "just be happy". Cannabis keeps my depression in check, it keeps me from smacking the next person who says "just be happy" to me. I hope you can work through this and not let it eat you alive.
Most folks on RIU are decent folks, so if you need help, please ask. Depression is not, but should be considered a disease/ sickness. Medicate yourself however you must, that said, alcohol is the worst thing I've ever tried, addiction potential is higher than for those not affected by depression. Good luck, be well...
Have you tried or considered trying shrooms? I’m sorry you’ve been through all the crap you’ve been through. My daughter has a story too. This is a terrible time right now and the stressors are numerous. I’m not religious so no prayers for you but I’ll think positive thoughts for you. Peace.Thank you, I have tried therapy. It is very difficult for me to communicate with people close to me let alone a stranger.
Stop smoking so much. Not good.Shew I’m not sure I know anyone that doesn’t have some mental issues. I’ve been feeling it worse lately myself. Doesn’t make sense at all I’m literally living my dream of growing full time and I moved to a legal state so I don’t have the worry of being locked up anymore. But I feel so down, and just tired all the time. It’s a chore to get anything done. I avoid doing stuff constantly and end up paying someone just to do simple household things. About the only thing I do get done consistently is gardening. I feel like I should be doing more and that gets me down even more. Im not even 40 yet, I feel like my parents nearing 70 are more active and energetic. I’ve always been fairly low energy but it’s gotten worse. I smoke weed constantly and I’m sure that doesn’t help much, but otherwise I just feel so uneasy.
Well thanks for listening sometimes it just helps to write it down, this is by far not the lowest point in my life so for those of you struggling with more you will get thru this we always do.
Ah yes I know, but it’s a cycle of oh I’ll feel better if I smoke and then it just leads to smoking most of the day. I’m not at all good at saying no to myself, it took years of being locked up to get me off hard drugs. (Clean since 2012)
It's so important to get comfy with yourself when living alone at an early age in your life ( if ya got a job and can swing it ) . Ya just have to learn to make it on your own , become selfsuffecent, get grounded. It's a real insightful experience....an invaluable education.Remember, you are the driver. I have a brother who is a great guy but, he always said " I can't be alone". I told him that he has to be happy with himself before one can be hoping another person will make one happy/satisfied. Break the cycle. You are the one in charge. Positive vibes coming your way! Be well...