Chunky Stool
Well-Known Member
A man comes into a bar.
No wait, it was a horse.
A man comes into a horse...
No wait, it was a horse.
A man comes into a horse...
bad jokes
- Thread starter Chunky Stool
- Start date
Alienwidow
Well-Known Member
A man walks into a bar.....ouch.
Singlemalt
Well-Known Member
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion -- it's a giraffe."
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion -- it's a giraffe."
Chunky Stool
Well-Known Member
I knew a joke about Jonestown but the punchline was too long.
Bada Bing!
Bada Bing!
Alienwidow
Well-Known Member
A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a pint. The bartender replies, "sorry we dont serve food here".
Singlemalt
Well-Known Member
A Frenchman walks into a bar and he has a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot is wearing a baseball cap. And the bartender says, "Hey, that's neat — where did you get that?" And the parrot says, "France — they've got millions of them there."
Chunky Stool
Well-Known Member
My wife said she wants to be treated like a princess. So I got her drunk, put her in a Mercedes, and crashed it into a wall.
Alienwidow
Well-Known Member
Oooooooooooohhh damn!
Singlemalt
Well-Known Member
That was bad, lol
Chunky Stool
Well-Known Member
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
Wipe his butt.
Wipe his butt.
Chunky Stool
Well-Known Member
CrocodileStunter
Well-Known Member
A man was caught undercutting the business at the burger joint he worked at
he was selling like 100 burgers a week without giving the money to the restaurant
He was convicted of in-slider trading.
I heard this on the radio earlier and it may be the worst joke ever told
he was selling like 100 burgers a week without giving the money to the restaurant
He was convicted of in-slider trading.
I heard this on the radio earlier and it may be the worst joke ever told
Elwood Diggler
Well-Known Member
a hot blonde drops a quarter between 2 jewish (no racist, so don't start) lawyers..........
Gregor Eisenhorn
Well-Known Member
Two scientists walk into a bar.
The first says, "I'll have some H2O."
The second says, "I'll have a glass of water too. Why did you say H2O? It's the end of the day and there's no need to talk about work."
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
The first says, "I'll have some H2O."
The second says, "I'll have a glass of water too. Why did you say H2O? It's the end of the day and there's no need to talk about work."
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
Unclebaldrick
Well-Known Member
A Norwegian, an Atlantic, and an Alaska pollock were swimming away from a Japanese fishing fleet when they came upon a sargasso seaweed forest. They decided to hide by each clinging to a frond.
The Japanese arrived, went to the edge of the seaweed forest, and lay down a net. They shouted, "We know you're in there, come out." The Norwegian pollock, thinking fast, said, "Scree, Scree, Scree." The Japanese, thinking that it was a dolphin, netted it.
The Japanese then moved on to the next stand of sargasso where the Atlantic pollock was hiding, and again shouted, "We know you're in there, come out." The Atlantic pollock, thinking fast, said, "Ah-oo, Ah-oo, Ah-oo." The Japanese, thinking that it was a whale, harpooned it.
The Japanese then moved on to the last lump of green where the Alaska pollock was hiding, and once again shouted, "We know you're in there, come out." The Alaska pollock thought for a while, thought for a while, thought for a while... and the Japanese fishing fleet sailed away.
The Japanese arrived, went to the edge of the seaweed forest, and lay down a net. They shouted, "We know you're in there, come out." The Norwegian pollock, thinking fast, said, "Scree, Scree, Scree." The Japanese, thinking that it was a dolphin, netted it.
The Japanese then moved on to the next stand of sargasso where the Atlantic pollock was hiding, and again shouted, "We know you're in there, come out." The Atlantic pollock, thinking fast, said, "Ah-oo, Ah-oo, Ah-oo." The Japanese, thinking that it was a whale, harpooned it.
The Japanese then moved on to the last lump of green where the Alaska pollock was hiding, and once again shouted, "We know you're in there, come out." The Alaska pollock thought for a while, thought for a while, thought for a while... and the Japanese fishing fleet sailed away.