Nastiest Thing Ever Happened During Sex

i was payed a small crack rock to have sex with a man, i how ever jacked him, and now hes chasing me down like a crazed redneck! OH NOES Here comes GARDEN KNOWM NOW!!! RUNNNN.....


(ahh later not now :) )
 
damn i hope thats a joke:mrgreen:


i was with a lady one night and this woman would lactate for no reason never even had a baby before. needless to say she kept being like "will you still like me in the morning" and like trying to really shove her tongue down my throat to make sure I actually liked her and shit, well i didnt really and just wanted to fuck her and I damn well sure didnt wanna be frenchin her, anyway long story short between that and the lactating titties i tossed her out before she gave it up and took my drunk ass outside and started throwing up all over the place.:spew:

and yes ive already told my fucking a gurl on the rag story too many times here, long story short she had a bloody puss a bloody ass I had a bloody dick a bloody stomach and the night was bloody nasty mess. amazing what you will do once u have began trying to catch a nut:spew:
 
one time, i stuck my cock in my girlfriends asshole and when i took it out, the condom was darker and looked like shit fumes got on it..it kinda mselt like shit
 
she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.
 
holy canollies brother! did u go to the hospitol!!! man i would be so scared on any down stroke from that day on. That almost happened to me once I an had to stop sexing cuz i was too afraid she would do it again:roll: i heard u can actually break the little bugger:cry:
 
Going down on my GF when we first met and she farted pretty much up my nostrils. eww. She says she was trying to concentrate and didnt even know it was coming. We laughed it off. that was 5 years ago and were still together.
 
Going down on my GF when we first met and she farted pretty much up my nostrils. eww. She says she was trying to concentrate and didnt even know it was coming. We laughed it off. that was 5 years ago and were still together.

lol man thats a good one too, lol that will make a stiffy go limp:mrgreen:

but damn man 5 years of huffing farts? thats tough




j/k:bigjoint:
 
Going down on my GF when we first met and she farted pretty much up my nostrils. eww. She says she was trying to concentrate and didnt even know it was coming. We laughed it off. that was 5 years ago and were still together.
Yeah Ive had a dude fart while having sex....come to think of it its happend a few times... I think I was so fuckin horny I didnt care.
But if one accidently slipped when someone was down on me I think Id die.
 
Yeah Ive had a dude fart while having sex....come to think of it its happend a few times... I think I was so fuckin horny I didnt care.
But if one accidently slipped when someone was down on me I think Id die.

Yeah it was kinda uncomfterble for both of us you can imagine but we got past that embarrassing stage of the relationship very fast
 
My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.

icon_rotflmao.gif
 
About 13 or so years ago, My now wife and I were in our teens, I guess we were around 15 or so, and went for a walk in the summer. We were both horny and saw a port O potty in the park and nobody was around. I looked inside and it was pretty clean so we went in. We were going at it really good and guess I didn't notice the rocking. Yeah, anyway it tipped over. IT SUCKED.

We got out and there was this one guy that must have come while we were inside and was laughing his ass off.
 
When this guy and I first started dating we were going at it pretty good and all of a sudden my shoulder and neck felt really wet. Well I just kind of blew of off because I thought it was his sweat. ten seconds later he realized that his nose was bleeding. I was covered in blood from my neck to the upper part of my tummy. lol

It was sick as fuck but we laugh about it now =]
 
About 13 or so years ago, My now wife and I were in our teens, I guess we were around 15 or so, and went for a walk in the summer. We were both horny and saw a port O potty in the park and nobody was around. I looked inside and it was pretty clean so we went in. We were going at it really good and guess I didn't notice the rocking. Yeah, anyway it tipped over. IT SUCKED.

We got out and there was this one guy that must have come while we were inside and was laughing his ass off.

lmao :clap:
 
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