Negative thoughts

GrowRock

GrowRock

Well-Known Member
Anyone else struggle with negative thoughts? It seems no matter how much I try and keep my mental/physical health in check I keep having negative thoughts. I keep telling myself that these terrible thoughts and impending feelings of doom are just my mind farting (therapists suggestion) but this doesn’t seem to keep them a bay. I have struggled with mental illness since I was a kid. The anxiety and depression started when I was 7 years old. (I am now 38) I started to revert back to crawling the summer of grade 2. After going through the medical system for 2 months seeing 3-4 doctors the first 2 telling my parents I was lying and to take me home it was growing pains. (So they did for 3 weeks to a month) It turned out to be osteomyelitis in my femur on my left side. Due to the length of time before diagnosis the bone eating virus had eaten a hole the size of a quarter and 3-4inches long in my femur and doctors were unsure if they could save my leg. As soon as I got the diagnosis they put an iv in and started me on antibiotics. I remember ripping the iv out due to the antibiotics burning my arm. After pulling the Iv out 3 or 4 times they casted the Iv line on my arm so I was unable to pull it out. This went on for 3 months in the hospital until finally I was allowed to go home with a prescription for antibiotics 4 times a day for 18 months. I had to learn to walk again. After all of this is when I started having sever anxiety and depression grinding my teeth some times so bad I have cracked them. I have also been told that I have BPD/PTSD too. I find meditation journaling and keeping a sleep schedule helps. Anyways enough rambling just wondering if anyone has any suggestions or thoughts that work for them? I use a lot of cannabis to distract my mind too

peace

Grow
 
buckaclark

buckaclark

Well-Known Member
GrowRock said:
Anyone else struggle with negative thoughts? It seems no matter how much I try and keep my mental/physical health in check I keep having negative thoughts. I keep telling myself that these terrible thoughts and impending feelings of doom are just my mind farting (therapists suggestion) but this doesn’t seem to keep them a bay. I have struggled with mental illness since I was a kid. The anxiety and depression started when I was 7 years old. (I am now 38) I started to revert back to crawling the summer of grade 2. After going through the medical system for 2 months seeing 3-4 doctors the first 2 telling my parents I was lying and to take me home it was growing pains. (So they did for 3 weeks to a month) It turned out to be osteomyelitis in my femur on my left side. Due to the length of time before diagnosis the bone eating virus had eaten a hole the size of a quarter and 3-4inches long in my femur and doctors were unsure if they could save my leg. As soon as I got the diagnosis they put an iv in and started me on antibiotics. I remember ripping the iv out due to the antibiotics burning my arm. After pulling the Iv out 3 or 4 times they casted the Iv line on my arm so I was unable to pull it out. This went on for 3 months in the hospital until finally I was allowed to go home with a prescription for antibiotics 4 times a day for 18 months. I had to learn to walk again. After all of this is when I started having sever anxiety and depression grinding my teeth some times so bad I have cracked them. I have also been told that I have BPD/PTSD too. I find meditation journaling and keeping a sleep schedule helps. Anyways enough rambling just wondering if anyone has any suggestions or thoughts that work for them? I use a lot of cannabis to distract my mind too

peace

Grow
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Do you grow or garden.It surely shows the potential of simple seeds and soils.Have a think about a simple chunk of firewood,the huge amount of warming energy it contains just sitting until it is put in the stove.That same energy is in you and everything.This is the real harmony of nature and lifeTry to limit yourself from artificial things and listen for that harmony.Peace to you and yours.GL
 
Dreaming1

Dreaming1

Well-Known Member
Always. I dont, but I hear meditation is great for anxiety. Your focus is on something you control like breathing or some phrase and the spacing of the sounds. The depression though... Pot can help or hurt, depends on the person and herb combo. Exercise helps, but this is brain chemistry more than social stuff. Medications are the answer for some. Others not as much. Psychedelics,mdma, and ketamine are becoming more accepted therapies. They can help a lot, in the right usage. Good luck.
 
StonedGardener

StonedGardener

Well-Known Member
GrowRock said:
Anyone else struggle with negative thoughts? It seems no matter how much I try and keep my mental/physical health in check I keep having negative thoughts. I keep telling myself that these terrible thoughts and impending feelings of doom are just my mind farting (therapists suggestion) but this doesn’t seem to keep them a bay. I have struggled with mental illness since I was a kid. The anxiety and depression started when I was 7 years old. (I am now 38) I started to revert back to crawling the summer of grade 2. After going through the medical system for 2 months seeing 3-4 doctors the first 2 telling my parents I was lying and to take me home it was growing pains. (So they did for 3 weeks to a month) It turned out to be osteomyelitis in my femur on my left side. Due to the length of time before diagnosis the bone eating virus had eaten a hole the size of a quarter and 3-4inches long in my femur and doctors were unsure if they could save my leg. As soon as I got the diagnosis they put an iv in and started me on antibiotics. I remember ripping the iv out due to the antibiotics burning my arm. After pulling the Iv out 3 or 4 times they casted the Iv line on my arm so I was unable to pull it out. This went on for 3 months in the hospital until finally I was allowed to go home with a prescription for antibiotics 4 times a day for 18 months. I had to learn to walk again. After all of this is when I started having sever anxiety and depression grinding my teeth some times so bad I have cracked them. I have also been told that I have BPD/PTSD too. I find meditation journaling and keeping a sleep schedule helps. Anyways enough rambling just wondering if anyone has any suggestions or thoughts that work for them? I use a lot of cannabis to distract my mind too

peace

Grow
Click to expand...
Ya been to "Hell and back" but it never ends...very difficult not to have ruminating, unnerving thoughts living like that. I'm very sorry. I do understand. Ya must have a lot of willpower....that's what it takes to survive these ordeals. It's amazing how much priorities shift when ya get into the real shit. Hold tight , I am.......f this shit , let's row through this mess slowly and try to exhale.
 
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