Dankbudder
Member
So this thread is a bit different from the others, its not about growing. It's about my relationship with marijuana. I love her, and need her, similar to an addict. But I don't think of it as a fix, I think of it as one of the few plants on Earth that is compatible with the thoughts and demons in my crazy head.
Without bud, I feel like I would go crazy. Its hard to explain but its a different closeness that most people have, for example even though my friends toke they do not rely on it like I do and can go days without smoking. Then they talk about how I'm always depressed and I need to find the root of my problems.
BUT it doesn't work like that. I've been depressed my whole life, and the cards I was dealt made me have parents that are both heavy drug addicts. I sure as hell didn't choose this fate, if I was given a semi-normal life I probably wouldn't need Mary. There are very few people like this that I know of.
A song by Cudi describes what I feel on a daily basis quite well.
[video=youtube;_z_IJpLqBkY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z_IJpLqBkY[/video]
One part in the song:
Please save a kid that needs some help, and
I can't begin to think of anything that could help
But the weed is guaranteed, indeed, just what I need
That's exactly how I feel. Coincidentally Kid Cudi also had childhood trauma when his father died, and he was always pretty much alone, even at birth. Hell we're even both Aquarius which just makes me feel like I'm from another planet, depressed a lot, and think about the universe and kind of "feel" that there is something bigger than us. I always want to merge into that bigger, into that oneness, and I'm not scared of death. I'm ready.
Just thought I would vent about this, and if someone else can relate then hey!
Without bud, I feel like I would go crazy. Its hard to explain but its a different closeness that most people have, for example even though my friends toke they do not rely on it like I do and can go days without smoking. Then they talk about how I'm always depressed and I need to find the root of my problems.
BUT it doesn't work like that. I've been depressed my whole life, and the cards I was dealt made me have parents that are both heavy drug addicts. I sure as hell didn't choose this fate, if I was given a semi-normal life I probably wouldn't need Mary. There are very few people like this that I know of.
A song by Cudi describes what I feel on a daily basis quite well.
[video=youtube;_z_IJpLqBkY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z_IJpLqBkY[/video]
One part in the song:
Please save a kid that needs some help, and
I can't begin to think of anything that could help
But the weed is guaranteed, indeed, just what I need
That's exactly how I feel. Coincidentally Kid Cudi also had childhood trauma when his father died, and he was always pretty much alone, even at birth. Hell we're even both Aquarius which just makes me feel like I'm from another planet, depressed a lot, and think about the universe and kind of "feel" that there is something bigger than us. I always want to merge into that bigger, into that oneness, and I'm not scared of death. I'm ready.
Just thought I would vent about this, and if someone else can relate then hey!