Home defense/ self defense

torontoke said:

9 times out of ten the criminal isn't getting close enough to get bit.
It's more of a deterrent
Plus dogs are easily trained to alert the owner or just hold the person.

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A pack of small or medium size alarm dogs work great for security on the homestead without having to worry too much about a lawsuit from a dog bite.

BarnBuster said:

don't forget his epic "Breath of the Dragon" homemade flamethrower book

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That thing is over-the-top. Fucking ridiculous, but for some reason I love it.

Bakersfield said:

A pack of small or medium size alarm dogs work great for security on the homestead without having to worry too much about a lawsuit from a dog bite.

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My dog probably wouldn't bite anyone tbh
But if u came through a window at 3 am and woke him up he's gonna wanna "play" and everyone in the hood would know

Nobody expects the comfy cushion! Or the killer rabbit.

Get the set.

greg nr said:

Nobody expects the comfy cushion! Or the killer rabbit.

Get the set.

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That's what happened to King Arthur. I thought he got banned.

Just whip out the old penis and start stroking it . That there should be enough to scare the intruder away.

ANC said:

CO2 alarms are awesome, they knock the fucker out.

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is that legit...gotta google it now.

Dumbo_Octopus said:

Just whip out the old penis and start stroking it . That there should be enough to scare the intruder away.

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LOL. I remember watching an episode of King of Queens where doug hefernan delievers a package to a dude that was always naked, and then "accidently" shows him his balls wearing short towel, ...I think that'd definitely have me backing away.

I remember years back we used to feel pretty cool owning the Anarchist's Cookbook. Now 11 year olds google how to make bombs with household chems.

I remember I had a dream, she ate the whole cake. wait that's a fat joke

I have to ask the guy up the road, I think he had one installed in his rental house as it kept getting broken into when empty.
And we looked after another guy's house as kids who also had some knockout gas alarm with a pad under the doormat.

Seems like everyone just use pepper spray these days.

ANC said:

I have to ask the guy up the road, I think he had one installed in his rental house as it kept getting broken into when empty.
And we looked after another guy's house as kids who also had some knockout gas alarm with a pad under the doormat.

Seems like everyone just use pepper spray these days.

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Legit-ness
I wish I had a reason to install one of those. I'd see if I could mix my own concoction up...we are some twisted individuals.

No, I have a better alarm idea, Infrared camera and light source, with a mean fucking laser pointer. Programmed to look for the two eyes reflecting and blinding the fucker. A la automated nerf gun supreme

Dumbo_Octopus said:

Just whip out the old penis and start stroking it . That there should be enough to scare the intruder away.

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I bet they were shaking in their boots when you pulled your pistol out your pants.

I always keep stale cookies at hand, they act as chinese throwing stars. The chips become shrapnel, and assailants, goners.

ovo said:

I always keep stale cookies at hand, they act as chinese throwing stars. The chips become shrapnel, and assailants, goners.

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@neosapien

Bakersfield said:

A pack of small or medium size alarm dogs work great for security on the homestead without having to worry too much about a lawsuit from a dog bite.

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We have 4 good size dogs. People around here learned fast to stay away from the fence. Can't imagine anybody wanting to cross that fence and enter the house. I'm prepared to defend us but i seriously doubt it will ever come to that.

If they are close, use the taser, if not use the cross bow.
The element of surprise can give you a big advantage.

Jimmyjonestoo said:

We have 4 good size dogs. People around here learned fast to stay away from the fence. Can't imagine anybody wanting to cross that fence and enter the house. I'm prepared to defend us but i seriously doubt it will ever come to that.

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I use to have a big man killer dog (Fila Brasileiro) that guy would bark up a storm hit the fence and scare the shit out of most people. I swear there's a dog whisperer in every crowd that thinks he can gain your dogs acceptance.
My Fila would stop barking if an intruder got within biting range as he zeroed in on the juggler. I had him nip 2 different people through the fence as they tried to talk to him.