My Niece Needs an Abortion

bu$hleaguer said:

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jesus bush, he only wants to abort the baby, not his niece ffs

Dude, if you need any money you can make some fast cash by doing it yourself and then breaking it down and selling it in parts. Sounds fucked up, I know, but we've all been there- there's no shame in it.

You can even save like 30% if it's significantly fragmented. For reels-

racerboy71 said:

jesus bush, he only wants to abort the baby, not his niece ffs

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I'm only tying to offer options, man.

She's only 15; her parents cannot know so we can't have it and sell it. Maybe later though! She wants to go on Maury soon, hoping to be discovered but not yet because of her very religious parents.

< 8 week brain is spendy...

Make sure she rides it out a few months. You don't want to get dicked around on price...

So, they should pay us, right?

Where is this place? Maybe I can get her friends involved. Looks like I could make some scratch doing this!

ClaytonBigsby said:

Where is this place? Maybe I can get her friends involved. Looks like I could make some scratch doing this!

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I can recruit if you need an extra "Hand"

chewberto said:

I can recruit if you need an extra "Hand"

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Shit I bet an extra hand would be worth a mint.

charface said:

Shit I bet an extra hand would be worth a mint.

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So long as it was < 8 week hand... That > 8 week hand is damn near worthless...

Suddenly there is a whole new meaning to "hiring trimmers"

My old Italian tailor said a bunch of parsley shoved up there will kill the baby. He also said what comes out is good on potatoes.

ClaytonBigsby said:

She was over this morning watching the early game in London, and after a few drinks she loosened up and told me she needs an abortion. Where should I take her? Does Planned Parenthood check ID, if I say I'm her dad?

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Well my fists need a good workout so send her over and btw I'll do this for free.

texasjack said:

My old Italian tailor said a bunch of parsley shoved up there will kill the baby. He also said what comes out is good on potatoes.

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But not baby potatoes. You need definition.

Keep the drinks flowing.. Drunk babies are so cute <3

So, she comes over today and says "hey, I need for you to go to the store with me". I'm like "fuck no, bitch, I'ma relax and play on the interwebz". She tilts her head in her cute little way and I grab my keys. So we go to the store and she's asking for the manager. The woman at the svc desk is trying to "help" her so my niece walked away and I followed. We went into the back and she knocked on the manager's office door. The guy opens the door and doesn;t look surprised, except by my attendance. She told him she's with child and she needs $500 for the tongs. He balked with some BS about "how do you know it's..." and she screams "NOW, MFer!!!" Guy went to the safe and pulled out five large bills and put them in her hand. He looks at me, looking at him like he's an alien and I notice the wedding ring on his finger, so I glance at it and say "I'll take five too". He almost started to cry but knew I was serious so he went back to the safe.

I think I have a winner. In a few more years my nephew will be ready for bigger and better things too. Maybe I WILL become a foster dad.

Tell that shifty mother I want 5 as well or he might end up pregnant.