What would you do

mr sunshine said:

The lights seem off. I'd center them over the canopy. Or at an angle at the top corners. I don't know ,they just look weird.

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I thought they look a bit off too. When I set it up, I made sure everything was centered properly. Each light has about 5x5 space. It seems like a lot of the light is hitting the walls. It would be a bitched to move them all closer in, because the beams don't line in the right spots. Tilting seems like a good idea.

@Will Ferrell no trade seriously? I'm 31 and I have experience in the oil field, machine shop/metal fab, I can build a house from the ground up/independent contractor, heavy equipment operator (the only thing I can't operate is a maintainer) but even with all that experience I still consider myself by trade as a bartending because I am great at it and constantly make over 20 a hour.

So I have lived half my adult life as grower as my means for income. It took me long to finally figure out how to be profitable. Because the quality is going up and prices are going down.

First I strongly suggest having a regular job and growing on side for extra money.

From my experience I spent the last two years growing in three houses at 14,000 watts not including side projects. I fucking hated it! But I was also doing all the work and remodeling the damn houses for free (well free rent) and spliting that 4 ways.. Fuck that noise! But I got nice gig going for me at the moment.

But there is no way you are 32 without experience in anything? That is unless you get disability, welfare and food stamps, or rich ass parents.. I guess?

But regarless a trade is something you enjoy and have skills doing so, even if you are a dish washer. (throw out to bruce lee)

So lets talk about the garden.

Pros.
You're using good ducting and it appears you have built a sub panel.. Idk it might just me your breaker box.
You are using large pots.
And everything looks kinda clean.




Cons
Cool tubes suck unless you are running them vertically and even then.. You are bouncing through the glass just to reflect off the reflectors. And your reflectors are to large you are losing half to the walls. Check out 1000bulbs.com you can buy you nice hoods for 60 a piece.

I'm not sure if you are legal but fuck just growing three plants. You should have 15-10 gallon pots for 3k or 27 at 5 gallons for 3k. Less veg=quicker turn over.

If you must grow trees "which I love" use 30 gallon pots 5 for 3k and do organic no tills. But for the smaller pots use coco and cheap GH maxibloom nutes.. Personally I don't like cloth pots for indoors, but yeah I'm not going to go into that..

And fuck bamboo, that shit will poke your eyes out and doesn't really do shit. Use a trellis.

Other then that everything looks fine..

But bro you got to get out.. I am the same way I will become a hermit so quick growing flowers.

I love working in bars because of the girls. And I am a overly tall guy, with horse teeth, awkward AF with a small(er) penis. But because I am around so many girls and a down to earth guy, well thats all I need. If you don't get out you'll never meet any girls. I'm telling you volunteer at a SPCA and get a job in service industry. It's good money and it's fun.

Well depression sucks bro. I started a thread almost identical to yours last year. I literally had to stop growing and get out and find a real job. Truth is I have my hands tied in couple of grows, but haven't had my own in over a year. Thats why I'm moving to Colorado on friday..

Well sorry about my long ass post, it took me like 45 mins to write. Without a proof reading..lol



And ps. For me, when I've been single for a minute and hook up with a girl, I don't bust right away. Actually usually it's the complete opposite, I can't even get hard until the second night.. Lol

Well best of luck and keep us informed

mr sunshine said:

The lights seem off. I'd center them over the canopy. Or at an angle at the top corners. I don't know ,they just look weird.

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Light and looks a little under watered maybe

20 dollars an hour youll be living in a box where i live. Life is a dumb scam

@Will Ferrell , please seek professional help. When I was sexually assaulted, I was severely depressed. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. I waited months. And when I finally admitted to myself that I couldn't fix it on my own and went to seek professional help, I got better immediately. I still had a long way to go, but I got better fast after I talked to a counsellor. In your case, the best place to start is probably with a medical doctor. They can direct you from there.

On another note, quitting smoking can bring depression for many. Consider getting your doc to prescribe Bupropion. It's an anti-depressent that also helps people quit smoking with less anxiety and depression.

Good luck. We all need help sometimes with problems in life. Go get the help you need.

@Will Ferrell

I'm recently divorced as well. I don't miss her at all and it takes quite a bit of energy to not loathe her. The difference between my situation and yours is, I stayed in it long enough that I am beside myself happy she is gone. Doesn't necessarily mean I am happy. But, I'm not as miserable as I was while we were together. It takes a minute to get back to being single tho after 6 years. But, it will come to you.

Another difference is, I was divorced at 22 and was single, running around for two decades before I got hitched again. I had more than my fair share of short lived relations between. But, I more or less took care of myself and all my business. I'm pretty skilled at being single.

I also don't have a lot of family left. I am extremely introverted as well. I don't allow you're average muck in my life because I find their simpleton thoughts and ideals to be annoying. Ignorance does not equal bliss for me. It's all cool tho. I don't apologize for my ways or being who I am. I love me. You should not apologize either. You sound like a decent person. Fuck society and their predisposed notions that people should want to sacrifice truth just to belong in a group. It's not real. The noise people make is not real either. Think about it.

At the end of the day as I reflect on all the lives that were close to me and have passed. I have come to realize that we mostly all expire worthless. When we're gone were just gone. Eventually forgotten. Completely forgotten. I think the best thing we can do as we travel this short span is just be respectful of others. But also ourselves.

I honestly think you're bored. And you're down on yourself for not fitting into society's notion of how a "normal" is supposed to live. It's all good. I'm bored as fuck too a lot. I just do my thing. I'm harmless. I'm respectful. I'm nice to people.

It's all good bro. Do your grieving. Join a group or get therapy to have someone to talk to. Let it out. Forgive yourself. Stop blaming yourself. Being different doesn't make you a bad person.

God bless bro.

Best in home hobby for you my fellow...at this point you are out the relationship you crave since you were 14 yr in a relationship.

I went thu similar circumstance as you...rebound for me was to join Cherry Bloussum...an international dating site.
I spent hours on end chatting with Lady's from the Philippines,there are over 1000 to chat with

You can fly round trip from USA to Phils for under 1000 bucks.

I now sit at home with my soulmate Gigi for the past 6 years now

Fuck your ex's sister

srh88 said:

Fuck your ex's sister

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I was just listening to whole lot of love. I'll watch that one later. +rep.

srh88 said:

Fuck your ex's sister

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That sucked bro. Sorry man. They Zep but nah. Maybe black dog. I dunno.

Awesome advice, many great perspectives! I would add to these that you should:

Run: it's free! Even if it's hard at first, after 2 weeks you'll own it! Take your dog too! Aim for 3x per week.

Vitamins/Improve diet: dude, get you some Vitamin D3 5000 IU, Omega 3 Fish Oil, and Super B Complex...these help your brain and make it easier to rationally deal w emotions/life circumstances.

Stay Positive: I know this seems stupid, but seriously, dont focus on negative thoughts. Realize, that often, neg thoughts originate from fear. F@#k fear! You want to be champ, view yourself as a champ!

No Alcohol: seriously, it amplifies emotion, adversely alters brain biochemistry in binge drinkers, calories, money, arrests, apologies, regret...

Nature: go hiking again. Get bird feeder / bird watching. Learn birds you see / calls. You will be amazed by what you learn even if you think u knew all about species round ya.

Spiritual: come to know a higher power, as you see your higher power. Read Bible, etc. and form your own opinions / relationship. You do not have to be influenced by what anyone has said/done in this area, learn for yourself!

You can triumph over all things! Fact that you reached out here shows you are not a quitter, but instead, quite valiantly choosing life! You are victorious the moment you decide to fight and not give in. Do your best, it's the best you can do. Be your own best friend, give yourself credit! Try AA, take good, leave bad. "Progress, not perfection." Show Love.

You got this!!! Love ya's! God bless!

-ForRealz

@Will Ferrell - Please be careful with some of the suggestions here. Because of the new scrutiny on the selling and holding of guns to people with "mental problems", there are many ways for the government to decide you are no longer stable enough to have a gun in your house. And if you are growing, it's a necessity.

You may only be in a temporary state of depression that will go away, maybe not. However, you wouldn't want to lose your right to the 2nd amendment because some doctor takes something you say the wrong way.

Try opening the bible every day and starting a relationship with god. What's it going to hurt at this point?

(Flame to follow)

FWIW, brotha...I believe God LOVES YOU personally, and all of us sinners (myself included) Unconditionally! I believe that, that Love is not something that can be altered by our actions / inactions, nor can it be earned as it is a Gift.

A Gift we can either receive or reject, it is our prerogative, and God is a respecter of personal autonomy, God accepts decisions we make. God says "Come as you are..." (like Nirvana haha). Not when we quit cussing, or whatever, right now, as you are.

For me, understanding these concepts has had a profoundly beneficial effect on me! I still have much room for improvement, but even in that there is opportunity, opportunity for advancement!

Again, you are obviously free to decide for yourself and free to believe as you see fit. Just sharing my beliefs/experiences in hopes someone else in need can have the same Love.

In sharing, I have opened myself to criticism, but "nothing ventured, nothing gained!" Go ahead and participate, trounce on that hate. Let yo Light shine! Ball on, ballers and ball-ettes!

He's right man with the xtc comes a come down so shrooms or dmt...animals are known for being mood boosters (therapy dogs!) Start working out it really helped me not only with drug abuse but depression cut out coffee(not good for anxiety) n shit like that n use cannabis as a reward so u change the negativity you've associated with it one reward at a time as already mentions routine is key man have a set bed time n wake time..it'll take a while to get into it but once ur up early every morning you'll find getting to sleep at the time you've set easier n easier.

ODanksta said:

Volunteer at a dog resue or the spca. And take handfuls of mushrooms better yet ayahuasca but stay away from XTC..

Soup kitchen might make you more depressed. But at SPCA animals are cute and fluffy. And mostly girls work there. Instant pussy magnet.

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X has always done me right.

Start going out for walks. Take a smoke and just walk to the nearest store. Greet everyone you meet. People will eventually remember you and strike up small chat with you.

Communication makes a big difference with depression. Talk about a hobby or where you are from, or start a new hobby.

Disc golf sounds like fun. See if they have group discussion golf in your area.

Start a garden outdoors so you get some sun. Start doing more yard work.

Help a stranger whenever possible.

Humans need purpose and love to be happy. You just took a big hit to your love tank. You need to meet people so that little by little you will feel wanted/loved again.

If growing pots ur only hobby don't talk about that hobby lol

tyler.durden said:

After my second divorce, I felt a lot like you do, OP. I started volunteering at a local soup kitchen with a buddy, and that really seemed to help. It helped me get out of my own head and my own problems, and woke me up to the fact that I didn't have any real problems. These hungry homeless people did. A couple of months of this seemed to pull me out of my negative mind state. Try volunteering for the less fortunate, or be a big brother to some kid. The world needs a lot of help, and there's never enough to go around...

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Fucking awesome post. I love it. Go volunteer at the local animal shelter, those animals deserve some love and could really help you. I took it upon myself to help stray cats when I got off of dope, youll be ok man. Youll be ok!

SamsonsRiddle said:

@Will Ferrell - Please be careful with some of the suggestions here. Because of the new scrutiny on the selling and holding of guns to people with "mental problems", there are many ways for the government to decide you are no longer stable enough to have a gun in your house. And if you are growing, it's a necessity.

You may only be in a temporary state of depression that will go away, maybe not. However, you wouldn't want to lose your right to the 2nd amendment because some doctor takes something you say the wrong way.

Try opening the bible every day and starting a relationship with god. What's it going to hurt at this point?

(Flame to follow)

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Not to start anything, but he's depressed, reading the bible isn't going to help that...
How many "feel-good" stories are in there?
Nevermind,, i'm not the person to reply on this.

Why do religion and guns seem to be parallel?
Just my observation anyways...
And when someone is talking about this much depression mentioning guns is sorta, um... well... not the most tactful.
BUT I don't know shit

Will Ferrell said:

I thought they look a bit off too. When I set it up, I made sure everything was centered properly. Each light has about 5x5 space. It seems like a lot of the light is hitting the walls. It would be a bitched to move them all closer in, because the beams don't line in the right spots. Tilting seems like a good idea.

Click to expand...

here, try these
DHEA 50mg once a day
ubiquinol 200mg, NOT coq10, that's not nearly absorbable
Omega oils, and vitamin e
a good multivitamin, I like rainbow light
FORCE yourself to do a workout, preferably one like lifting weights, as not only will you get a lil buzz from the THC in your fat, but you get a lil endorphin too, als you'll firm up quickly too, and that's always good for self-esteem.
If you do that for a month, i'm certain you'll feel better, and at the least you'd look better.
DON"T wake n bake, and DON"t smoke during the day, use marijuana as a "reward" for when you are doing shit you should, like working out...
besides a bongload after a hard workout gets you BLASSSTED
Trust me.
Been there.
had a 13yr relationship combust over the course of 4 hrs, with no prior notice.

Get laid man... That'll help.

trust me, depression is ALL about your perspective, imagine ALS or cancer, or whatever..
However shitty your day is? it could be much MUCH worse..
hell even a good toothache will show you some appreciation..

Nothing you are doing is wrong, a "wound" like that doesn't heal over night.
the bandages should be working out, vitamins, and getting laid.
In that order, work out three times a week and in a week you'll FEEL sexier.
Knock the dust off your dick man... he's like a muscle... you don't use it? he'll hate you and atrophy...