Can I Sue???

[ClaytonBigsby]

One of my all time favorite movies

 

[oldtimer54]

I am member in good standing of a semi reputable internet forum. I recently came under fire from a very well known member who chastised me for not believing everything he said to be the truth . I became so upset that I threw my laptop into the yard and hit the Rev Al Sharpton in the head who just happened to be speaking at a local NAACP rally causing him to start singing The Humpty Dance made famous by the group The Digital Underground...... So do I need to sue the NAACP or the right Reverend All Sharpton for the replacement of my laptop or go after the poster on the web site who started this terrible chain of events.....on a related note I've been told that Reverend Al's rendition of the Humpty Dance landed him a spot on the reality show the voice......do I have a case ?

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

Shipoopie, oldtimer, that's tough. I don;t know that anyone can take another minute of Al Sharpton.... Maybe you can just file a Motion for Summary Judgement. I like your odds

 

[Metasynth]

I got fired because I wouldn't clean up human biological waste. I cook for a living, not clean up shit, vomit, and blood...Can I Sue?

 

[reapersfamiliar]

I need some money, so I am starting this "Can I Sue?" thread, where we can ask each other opinions on whether or not we could have a case. Let's save ourselves, and attorneys, some time here and bounce ideas off of each other. I mean, clearly it's MFers like us (not really working) who make up jury pools, am I right?


l'll go first

I just made a triple decker PB&J and discovered a rock in my sammich about 1.5x the size of a pea.


CAN I SUE?!?!?!?!?

hell no!

 

[reapersfamiliar]

Yes. But it wont pay anything unless there are damages. Did you happen to bite the rock and cause yourself any injury?

I just ripped my pants and scratched my thigh on a sharp edge of a local business's door. They fit me just right and now they are ruined. I have an interview tomorrow for my dream job but all my confidence has ebbed out of me because they were my lucky pants. Then I got distracted thinking about it (PTSD?) while driving home and smashed my car into four other cars over two blocks. Oh, it was Papa John's where i ripped my pants and cut myself.

Can I sue?

you could get an award for the pants and treatment of your leg.

the other stuff? no.

 

[reapersfamiliar]

Also, the other day my wife was putting away a can of beans from the store and since she's only 5'4" she half assed it on the top shelf. When I opened the cabinet door the next day, the can fell out and hit me right in the fucking eye!

CAN I SUE?!?!?!!?

you want to sue your wife?

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

you want to sue your wife?

Frequently. She's always coming up with some bullshit

 

[reapersfamiliar]

I bought condoms (lubricated) I turned on my phone found something called afromans bbw orgy... put the condom on the right way. And proceeded to rub one out.... half way threw I slipped came back down hard on my head I wasn't ready the pullback tore a little bit of foreskin.(I'm very tight) CAN I SUE?

short answer: no

 

[reapersfamiliar]

One of my all time favorite movies

i remember seeing it in an outdoor drive-in theater.

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

I saw it the first time on acid when I was 17 (when it came out in 1987) I thought it was genius on so many levels. Now that I type this I realize I hide much of my intent behind comedy and sillyness too. I've seen it at least 20 times.

 

[anzohaze]

A Internet personality known as Clayton always makes me spit up drink or dribble in my.pants from laughing..... Can I sue?

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

A Internet personality known as Clayton always makes me spit up drink or dribble in my.pants from laughing..... Can I sue?

Yeah, but don;t expect much. That MF is pretty slippery too.

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

That reminds me, sometimes when I use a public restroom, I am not as comfortable as I am at home so I don;t really pump my prostate to empty the bladder fully. Then when I'm walking around the store, I soil myself and I am very worried people can see it on the outside of my pants. I think stores should make their restrooms more user friendly/comfortable.

CAN I SUE?

 

[anzohaze]

Yeah, but don;t expect much. That MF is pretty slippery too.

I like slippery salamanders is his wife avaliable to make the payment better yet his grandma and those dentures WOW WhAT A MEAN BLOWJOB tell her I said hhhhhheeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy after he gets finished feeding

 

[Diabolical666]

Oh sheeeit Clayton tryin to be a Slippin Jimmy ova here

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

Oh sheeeit Clayton tryin to be a Slippin Jimmy ova here

what does that even mean? I'll sue you for libel !!!!!

 

[Diabolical666]

Slippin Jimmy is a guy that sets up slips and falls in a retail environment, slips and falls, then sues

 

[reapersfamiliar]

I saw it the first time on acid when I was 17 (when it came out in 1987) I thought it was genius on so many levels. Now that I type this I realize I hide much of my intent behind comedy and sillyness too. I've seen it at least 20 times.

1978. mexican men are hot.

 

[ODanksta]

One time I was at the store and dropped a gallon of milk and busted open all over the floor. I was stoned so I said fuck it and kept walking it wasn't 30 seconds later a lady came around around the corner and busted her ass.. I am talking about feet above the head busted.. The shit was so funny! She got up to look around to see if anybody noticed, covered in vitamin D.... my friend and me could not stop laughing.. it looked so fake and in slow motion.. The manager asked if we could fill out a incident report, we jetted out of there so fast... I pretty sure that lady got paid fat thanks to us...