@abandonconflict that's the spirit. You too should feel special about yourself. Stop being so hard and down on yourself. You are special too.
Tell you what, Go put on some clean clothes and go out and help someone today. Go save a puppy from the shelter. Fix food for the homeless. Hell offer to pay for someones wash at the laundromat.
I hope you find happiness, right now you sound like a bitter, angry, lonely old man. Wait are you married ?