Depression & Marijuana

Same here Humboldt.

They owe me big time.

Humboldt said:

MM I believe is not normally prescribe for depression but if you have a history with paper work, it's hard for them to deny you, I have a very long history with depression/anxiety and a stack of paper work you wouldn't believe, talk about a psychological test battery!

It's not like I went in and said I was unhappy and Walla .. MM, it's not like that (in most cases) a true doctor isn't going to give someone a marijuana medical license on a whim, you may have to go through lot's of tests and bullshit before getting MM.

True there are lots of docs that hand out medical cards like they were coupons or something, "Money Talks" but that's not the way to go.

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Yo Tahoe! Well said my friend. Well said.

tahoe58 said:

hey man I totally understand. the funny thing that I have found is that what you refer to as many people laughing their life off without any smoke, a couple of tihngs have become clear to me (1) there are a lot of people floating through life and not getting engaged in life in any meaningful capacity so it is easy for them to act the way they do; and (2) the relationships that you see at the times that you see them is only a snipet of their reality. Quite often there are aspects of those relationships that are not the rosy picture that seems to be placed in front of you.

I spent a lot of time particularly in the few last years in rather deep depression, and blaming myself for my failures and inability to be like whoever I wanted to compare myself to at the time. like well fuck he's married and has a happy wife or he has been in the same job for a thousand years, etc. and why the fuck am I such a loser that I screwed up my marriage or jump from job to job - what difference is there? the factors are multiple and multi-sourced (i.e, and it not only about you) and cannot be isolated and necesarily identified and/or fixed. In my case, I can certainly look at some aspects that I could have managed differently, but whatever happened or was done is done - its gone - its the past - and the only solution is one must move on. Life continues to go foward whether you join it or not. it is your choice to join or to fall into the ditch and watch the traffic zoom by. those people that you look at and say....wow they really have it together - take a closer look if you can - would you REALLY want their life? why not figure out what is REALLY important to you - what do you want your life to look like - and then make THAT life - whatever it is - and forget about comparing it to anyone elses. I have come to believe it really is your choice, and it is only up to yourself to make that choice - including adapting and managing all the bumps alnog the way....

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Just my 2 cents.

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Absolutely.

Humboldt said:

Yeah don't ask your doctor if you can smoke, sit down talk with him/her about MM and your problems, it's wise to be honest with the docs concerning marijuana alcohol etc.. regardless if you are wanting a license or not.

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Lacy said:

Yo Tahoe! Well said my friend. Well said.

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That doesn't sound stupid at all Philly. I have had anxiety problems most of my life as well. I've done the praying wishing I was more like other people so many times I can't tell you. I've also prayed to God that I wasn't alive any more and it goes beyond hurting.

In truth we make ourselves happy first. Someone else being happy WITH us, is like icing on the cake.

Just my thoughts.

Philly_Buddah said:

After I started to think about it I realized that I had anxiety basically my whole life. When I was little I was really irritable and always anxious and worried about things. I started feeling depression at early teens and it hit really hard, im just glad Im still alive now. I am still depressed a lot of the time, and especially anxious when I havent smoked in a while.

I started praying and wishing that I could be more like other people, that I can communicate with people good and that I can concentrate better. Then I realized there IS sumthin wrong with me, and that Ill never be like most ppl, and I shouldnt want to be like other ppl. I have a lot of problems and I need to deal with them, weed definetly makes it easier for me to deal with my problems. My main goal now is to just take it 1 day at a time, and to look for a girl that I will love and she will love me back. My life is not the best now, but I will never give up hope, becuz i believe that ur dreams can come true and my life will be better 1 day.

If marijuana can make me feel like Im in heaven now while im high, theres no telling how good I will feel when my life is better and then I get high with my girl. It might sound stupid to some ppl but thats all I need in my life, my girl and my weed.

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God put the plant here for us to use. I don't feel guilty any more. Besides 'guilt' is a useless emotion. There's a difference to being consciously aware and feeling guilty.

Philly_Buddah said:

Lacy Thanx for the advice. Another bad thing is that I dont really feel emotions 2 much anymore. A lot of ppl say that I always have the same blank expression on my face. When I 1st started getting depressed at least i could cry or be happy and have other emotions. My emotions are so much weaker now, i dont really like to do anything anymore, but i force myself to get up in the morning. Weed is not the best thing in the world but i love it, and It gives me sumthin to look forward to. Once in a while when im high and i find some way to clear my head, i get the best feeling in the world like im in heaven, and the colors and smells all come to life, reminds me of when i was a kid. Thats the way I always want to feel.

I realize just finding a girl might not be the thing that makes me complete and happy all the time, but its that it might be like that, that keeps me goin. I dont have anyone right now. I got friends, and family but im not close to any of them anymore. Im just hopin that I can find a girl thats more like me. Ill find some way to get happy again just might take some time and a lot of weed lol.

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Yes being on probation would suck. Never had that problem and hope I never do.

IggyZag said:

I hear you on this I am prescribed to valium for anxiety and sleep disorder along with zoloft for bi-polar and manic depressive, never worked. Once I found cannabis, I havent slept better since nor have I been any happier not because of the high (though its great) but it truly is mother natures medicine, and god's gift. However being on this probation tends to fuck things up

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Good luck with every thing Philly.

Philly_Buddah said:

I was on prescription pills for about 2 years but i quit taking them about 2 years ago becuz i didnt think they were helping much. My emotions are weak no, but they are stronger than when I was on medication. I cant remember all the names but they tried me on about 5 different pills. Mostly anti depressants.

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Lacy said:

Its only because you have different brain chemistry. It is frustrating wishing you were normal like other people but the fact is we aren't.

I've spent so many years feeling like a loser because I smoke dope but since I don't feel like that any more. I think people that smoke daily just get sterotyped or labeled because people just don't know any better. Its an easy out for them.

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There's all kinds of 'us' basketcases' out there with you.

I'm kidding!!!

ivebeencanceled said:

Thank you lacy.

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Philly_Buddah said:

I was on prescription pills for about 2 years but i quit taking them about 2 years ago becuz i didnt think they were helping much. My emotions are weak no, but they are stronger than when I was on medication. I cant remember all the names but they tried me on about 5 different pills. Mostly anti depressants.

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