Ever Had a Jehovah's(sp?) Witness Come To Your House While High>

so im sittin on the couch today, rolling a j smoking with about 4 of my college buddys, and 3 jahova witness' knock on the door, instead of turning off the lights and being really quite untill they leave as usual, i decided to fuck around with them a little bit, first thing out of one of there mouths was, have you heard about our savior, jesus christ, how could i resist but to go along with this, in reply i said, yes, but the question i have for you is, have you heard of my savior, the eternial damned lucifer? it was kinda corny for me to say so i didnt think they would take me serious and would just walk away, but one dude dropped his little mini bibles and started praying and speaking in tounges, so i just said, shamanhia, shamanhana, and closed the door and continued with my toking

im a nudist, so i answer my door nude, and say im not interested

Double0verhead said:

im a nudist, so i answer my door nude, and say im not interested

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lol i just blow weed smoke at them and they leave

if i would have thought about it at the time, i woked have asked them if they wanted a hit, you know you gotta be high to have the balls to knock on ppls doors that hate you lol

tater7808 said:

if i would have thought about it at the time, i woked have asked them if they wanted a hit, you know you gotta be high to have the balls to knock on ppls doors that hate you lol

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naw u see my avatar i would come out with that one lol

i accually had a gas mask on one time when the police came to my house to bust up a party, talk about a sticky situation lol


by the way, not like im just a idoit and left the mask on cause i knew it was the cops, someone knocked on the door and my buddy answered it, turned out to be the kentuck state police

Yes, and Once every so many months when I run low, I print these flyers I have a pdf of.
I won't get into detail, but the flyers are titled. : So, you've renounced your god. Then in big bold letters underneath it ;'Atheism: Light beyond the Illusions.

They always get proper pissed, and I laugh my ass off almost every time. Priceless.

dont you hate how they knock on your door like theyre the 5-0 lol

I love to remind them that according to their beliefs only 144,000 ppl get to go to heaven, then i ask them why the heck they keep trying to recruit more ppl and ruin their already minimal chances of getting there. that usually holds them off for a while.

thats one of the facts that makes me glad im agnostic lol

the last time they came to my door 5-6 yrs ago, i said i'd listen to them if they 'd come in a have a "joint" session. Haven't been back since. Wonder if I'm not on their list of 144,000 anymore??????

i open the door, "hello? who are you and what do you want?"
them-"hi im here to talk to you about the bib(le, but i dont hear that part)........"
me-without saying anything else close the door and walk away. lol. they still show up about 2-3 times a month, they keep thinking for some reason that after refusing to talk with them about jesus the last 20 times they showed up that im suddenly gonna say "come on in." at some point. my former roomate was a jw and i think he is behind it. you'd think he/they would get the point.

i wish i had a friend that was a scientoligist(sp?) i belive i could have alot of fun out of that religion lol

I say I'm either Nation of Islam or Buddhist (my real religion).

that's funny i had them witnesses over yesterday.seems like they know when i'm fryed and or working on something .they always show up then so i ask them if they would like a beer or some smokes or something to eat they always politely decline after i get them to help hang a sheet of rock or move something. i hooked that guy up with a moringa tree and all kinds of literature for it.they seem to politely realize bored plight hand there papers and merrily move on to the next house.no shit my very first experience with one was on a sunday. a real nice sexy girl was bangin on my door like the feds.i peaked out and thought i died and went to heaven when i realized she is under aged so i put my clothes back on a stay real quiet til she left.i didn't who she was or why she was bangin on my door like that but i came to find out she was a j. witness and she was only 13 all by herself too.she was a nieghbor who lived close by.now that was freaky so i entertain them every chance i get just for lack of anything better to do i guess.they are alway polite so i'm very polite back.funny shit

ok here's a fuckedup truth.i got up bout 10 am thirsty as hell,so i jump in my truck and start heading to town for some beer.i get pulled over for falling to use my singal gettin on the interstate.he asks if i had anything to drink today and i say nope[i didn't] honest and as cool as can be.he give's me a sobriety test and claims i failed it.i mean he had me on one foot touchin my nose recitin the alfabet.so he halls me to the station where i blew a18.5 bac.so they impounded my truck and i was so pissed i went on a bender for 5 days.i mean i was fucked,so i thought.i got completely wasted at a friends house i left and i tryed to cover one eye and was still seeing quadruplits. so i pull over in the middle of nowhere in mo.i find a house and tell them i need help,i've had too much to drink and need to use the phone.so they call the fuckin sherif who happens to live right down the road.so he's there in minutes.dui #2 i refused a breath test one year loss of something i never had to begin with.and then i really got mad.my 3rd time. they asked me if i had any drugs on me and i reached in my sweatshirt and pulled out a pipe and bag in each hand.so they gave me 17 tickets to remedy my attitude.you would think i would have learned.fuck no not me.i didn't get any more dui's but it was an accident that really changed me.me and my ex brother in law was cuttin down trees and choppin firewood for the winter when we got done we started to get to drinkin and we wasn't allowed to be gettin drunk there so our fuckedup selfs left.we side swiped a little car then we hit an embankment goin way too fast.we hit it at such an angle that i flew right out the door.the passenger broke 9 ribs on the stering wheel then hit the ibeam and fucked up his abillity to keep liquids from goin in his lungs.it was real sad but he recovered after 4 months,so we thought. i was unhurt.we quit drinking i quit my self destructive behavor an we started getting high at lunchtime,i worked close by.so we're sittin at the kitchen table puffin on some mexican shitweed when all of a sudden he has a fucking stroke.i flipped out and called everyone his sister,911.they got there in minutes and saved him and he recovered again,but what's really fucked the cops were unable to determin who was driving.even i didn't know til way later.so no tickets were wrote.i got a bad fear of driving i'd rather fly.it's a phobia.like i know any second i'm going to be killed by a drunk driver.i still don't have a license.and it's been over 10 years now.i did peace together that i had to be the driver and i am lucky i didn't kill anyone.oh i did get caught driving after that with out a liciense.i almost got 10 years cause it was the third offence bout 5 years later.pretty fucked up.if you let bad things unchecked bad things are gonna happen.owell this is all very true and it can happen to anyone.peace and legalize weed.and just shoot my ass if you catch me drinkin and driven.less i'm on the golf course where it it perfectly legal.

darkdestruction420 said:

i open the door, "hello? who are you and what do you want?"
them-"hi im here to talk to you about the bib(le, but i dont hear that part)........"
me-without saying anything else close the door and walk away. lol. they still show up about 2-3 times a month, they keep thinking for some reason that after refusing to talk with them about jesus the last 20 times they showed up that im suddenly gonna say "come on in." at some point. my former roomate was a jw and i think he is behind it. you'd think he/they would get the point.

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you must be from missouri haha

So i had just finished my own little session and out of no-where i hear my doorbell ring so i check out the window and it was them. So with my devious arse i turn on my itunes and with full volume i open the door and all they hear is the song "Anti-Christ" By: Slayer. So they started yelling at me saying that it was the devil's music and im just standing there laughing my arse off

They hardly ever come to my house, but when they do I try to make them feel welcome. Invite them in, ask them if they want a pepsi. Why not? They aren't bad people. They just have a fucked up religion that requires them to do that shit. They get doors slammed in there face all day but they are still insanely cheery. If they aren't too closed minded I ask them if they wanna smoke. Still haven't got one to agree with it but I'll find at least one stoner.

They came by a few weeks ago. They just kept knocking, I thought they would never go away. So I answered it, threw some scripture back at them, and said I wasn't interested.

I just feel bad that they get the door slammed on them 9 times out of 10, but I got fed up when they started talking about racism. I felt like they were insinuating/trying to figure out if I was a racist when I started trying to walk away. (they were black, I was white).

I needed a few more bong rips after that.

(I don't think they were JW's but they had the same act)