How do you butter your toast?

Gotta love this weed. I was in the process of spreading cream cheese on my bagel, Nd then I started to wonder how everyone else does it. I'm one of those people who just spread it messy cause who gives a shit your about to eat it. The people who have spread it perfectly and it takes the five minutes drive me crazy!

I use a butter knife, usually.



But nah, I just slap it on, when I want buttered toast I wants it NOW.

Back to the kitchen for another bagel

I admit im a ocd butterer. Doesnt take me 5 minutes or anything but i do like my toast buttered "my" way.

Grab a butter knife and take out as much as I know I'll use and just spread it on however.

I hate the people that grab a little butter at a time and keep going back in with the knife, getting crumbs and shit in the butter.
One of my biggest pet peeves.

Bagels are another story.....fucking hole fucks everything up.

ganjames said:

Grab a butter knife and take out as much as I know I'll use and just spread it on however.

I hate the people that grab a little butter at a time and keep going back in with the knife, getting crumbs and shit in the butter.
One of my biggest pet peeves.

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HELL YES THIS. Pisses me off so much when I go to butter up some delicious toast and there's crumbs from my wife's toast in there. I found a pretty neat solution.


Make her butter my farkin' toast.

Edges! Butter right from the very edges! Even pressure going all the way down, knife at a 45-22.5 degree angle. I prefer to get it down in a few confident even strokes- I can't stand watching someone beat their fucking toast 20 times just to get the butter on one area. Bollocks.

It sounds annoying too.

And I keep my butter knives separate for this momentous occassion, so they are suitably shaped and uncontaminated. Slightly rounded, few ridges. Woe betide the man who gets crumbs in my fucking butter!!!!

Sorry, I'm getting really passionate over this...

LOL...This Shit is Too funny!

How do you put on yours pants? Two feet at a time!

Orithil said:

HELL YES THIS. Pisses me off so much when I go to butter up some delicious toast and there's crumbs from my wife's toast in there. I found a pretty neat solution.


Make her butter my farkin' toast.

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Ahaha I'm glad someone shares my feelings about buttered toast.

I just smashed 4 pieces of buttered toast with a giant bowl of tomato soup, damn good stuff.

fuck crumbs in the butter...i hate that shit...i usually scrape it off on the side of the container and wait until I'm making toast for someone else and use that butter LOL

But yeah...all the way to the edges...not too much to make it a soggy mess, but just enough that every bite is nice and buttery

I hate to stick my butter in everyone's waffle's but I like to leave my butter on the stove out of the fridge. i can butter bread, biscuit's and cornbread with just the flick of a wrist !!

"May the butter be with you"

farmersmurf said:

I hate to stick my butter in everyone's waffle's but I like to leave my butter on the stove out of the fridge. i can butter bread, biscuit's and cornbread with just the flick of a wrist !!

"May the butter be with you"

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Dude, waffles need lots of butter.

I fill a turkey baster with butter, and inject it into an orifice in my wife. She then "spreads" the butter for me on the toast, and the floor... and the walls... its a little messy, but we don't have butter knives.

I dip my dick in the butter and then wipe it on my wife's toast. Then I have her lick the butter + crumbs off my dick. Then it usually evolves into anal and so forth. Breakfast time at the Caps house. Choo choo.

hahaha.... butter... natures lube!

wow some of you would want me dead i think. i'm one of those who takes smaller globs of butter, but i ALWAYS wipe the knife before getting more. when i was a kid my mother had to buy me my own little tub because i wouldn't eat anything with butter unless i could physically see that the butter was crumb free. to this day i write "no crumbs" on all my butter, cream cheese, etc.

i will not eat the food unless the butter is completely melted or otherwise evenly distributed. cream cheese is spread in a fairly thin layer as even as possible, and the edges of the bagel are "deburred" of cream cheese.

besides the crumbs in the butter, there is one other thing that you mustn't do. THOU SHALT NOT wipe the leftover goop from your knife on the rim of the tub. that is 10 times more disgusting than mere crumbs. i gag just thinking of it.

smokinheavy79 said:

hahaha.... butter... natures lube!

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The similarity to Butt is no accident. cn

xKuroiTaimax said:

Edges! Butter right from the very edges! Even pressure going all the way down, knife at a 45-22.5 degree angle. I prefer to get it down in a few confident even strokes- I can't stand watching someone beat their fucking toast 20 times just to get the butter on one area. Bollocks.

It sounds annoying too.

And I keep my butter knives separate for this momentous occassion, so they are suitably shaped and uncontaminated. Slightly rounded, few ridges. Woe betide the man who gets crumbs in my fucking butter!!!!

Sorry, I'm getting really passionate over this...

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Well of course, Kuroi! Things like this can break marriages. My blushing bride would make PB&J sandwiches that were distressingly random, gloppy and possessed of a huge excess of spreads. Conversely, she'd grit her teeth while I saw to it that the right amount of each was spread in an even layer out to within 1/4 inch of the edges. (HATE dry edges; HATE thick bites next to dry ones).
As for butter, I'd keep a portion in a small dish outside the fridge so that i wouldn't tear up toast, waffles etc. She called it male Butter, to our mutual mirth. cn

i usually bite into the bread and then take a spoon of butter, you know like eating peanut butter out of the can kind of way...