How Do you Deal With Your Ex and / or a Breakup? Help Needed!

I dont mean to bitch or bring my drama to the forums but I have found that growers of ganja are typically some of the most well rounded level headed people and I need help deciding how to treat my ex:


I dumped my girlfriend of 4 months last week when i realized she is a "one better" girl, the type who gets bored and starts looking at other people for attention. she started being a bitch to me and said we should practice abstinence and not spend so much time together but needed to still be dating, I wasnt going to stand for that.

It was my longest relationship to date (im 20) and It was upsetting, we have not talked once since I told her we should not date which I think sorta confirms that she just wanted me to break up with her so she could be guilt free.

I see her around a lot in my life, and currently there is an akward silence that overtakes our friend group when we both show up. I am done done done with her and will not ignore warning signs in my next relationship,

I am really tempted to talk to her and tell her what a coldhearted bitch she has been recently as we were pretty close and she was leading me on like she wanted to date for years. I treated that girl like an angel and she fucked me over.

OR

Should I take the high road and ignore her because she isnt worth my time? I have decided she is not but I feel talking to her or writing an angry note would give me some good closure.

what do you guys and girls think?

Ive told myself im over it but I still find myself pondering and feeling upset, any good advice besides getting baked for forgetting a girl?

this is a common problem as you get older mate i been there a few times and the best thing i can advise you to do is just get on with it like it never happened be polite etc etc this problem will more than likely happen again and next time the boot maybe on the other foot with you doing the hurting, 90% of the time it's not intentional some people just fall faster than others and sometimes it takes a few months to realise things and feelings aren't going the same way. honestly mate you'll look back in a couple of years after you've had a few more girlfriends (breakups) and kick yourself for creating more headaches than it's actually worth- i don't say worth to belittle your feelings but in time she'll simply be another ex girlfriend in the collection and the less bad feelings out there as they add up the better mate just my opinion though

Dragon, I know what you are saying but it just sucks that she has done it before and will do it again, she is 18 and I dont think she really understands how much she was leading me on. At the end, a few days before we broke up, I told her i didnt want to date when we were having issues and she insisted, told me about how great i am and how her folks like me im awesome in bed etc, she said she wanted to become best friends and spend lots of time together but the next day when we arnt cuddled up in bed she was not trying to hang out and being a bitch over the phone
I dont want to be mean or necessarily angry, I just feel like by ignoring her she will not even realize the folly of her ways and will continue to act like a selfish slutty girl, Im still a little torn

i know it hurts mate and like you said she's a tramp and defo could have gone about it in a better way but i wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she left a dent mate i think it would play on her mind if she thinks you just got over her like she was nothing special, if you're angry with her when she's there your giving her attention and making her think she really is some1 worth being upset over, we do things a little differently here in the uk so long term dating usually means your a couple unless otherwise specified mate if it were me i wouldn't let her know i was hurting after all it won't get you anywhere and in all honesty if it would, would it matter you've already seen her for what she is (some1 not worth your time and certainly not your tears figuratively speaking), there's alot of women out there like the 1 you described and god knows i've been with a couple of them and what has worked best for me is to cut them loose as soon as you realise (making you the 1 hurting some1) or simply not bothering with them in the first place unless it's a 1 nighter job. unfortunately it takes time to learn to spot them and you've just had your first real run in with 1 in time you'll be able to spot them a mile off (fingers crossed) you just have to chalk it up to experience and learn to spot the signs between a good girl and a wrong 1 mate

yea man, whatever you decide to you, plays your cards close to the vest. Don't stoop to her level and call her a cold hearted bitch, thats some high school shit. Kill her with kindness, be friendly but treat her the exact same as every person in the room, like you had never even hooked up with her. Do this for a week or two, then show up with a new girl on your arm = win. You can only control how you act, and you're the only one genuinely lookin out for yourself. with that in mind, be happy, and don't let her change that. Best of luck Bro!

Dude she will act like a selfish slutty girl no matter what she is 18. Also, there are plenty of others in the sea. You should definitely ignore her starting a fight or writing a note will just prolong the hurt not give you closure. I agree with dragon, you are only 20 there is still plenty of time to date plenty of other girls and have plenty of other relationships and breakups I am 29 and married and trust when I say this it hurts now but as dragon said in a few years you won't even think about it.

Thanks a lot guys, I think ill just pretend it never happened when i see her.

Haha it feels like that sublime song now
"its friday night, and theres gonna be, another chick on my tip but it wont be you babe"

Tonite Ima get drunk and laid and forget all about this bitch!

The "one better" girls never change. I just spent a couple years with one. Bitch went behind my back with every single mother fucker that showed her the slightest attention. Literally, women can be bitches sometimes (no offense to any bitches out there - and men can be to be fair). You're story was a little perplexing, but you're young. You have a shit ton to learn and some bitch will do it to you again. Just now, you are more prepared. Or at least that is how I'm looking at it. Actually I don't see myself with anyone else and am living my life like there is nobody out there for me right now. (Not healthy). Re-connect with your friend/group and isolate as many of them as you can from her. You have to continue pleasantries, but move on.

4 months is relatively short in relationship speak. I hope you didn't dump her because she suggested "not-having sex" and "seeing each other less", because that seems to me like she just wanted to make an attempt at making the relationship last. Relationships can start out in a raging passionate hurricane of lust, but that is no foundation to build upon. It's been a week, she will either miss you, or miss you and find some way to replace you. My advice is shit anyways... I just wish you well brother.

Edit: I say it's shit, cause I don't know whether you should talk to her or not. The best I can do is give it a coin flip.

Remember to wrap it up and be safe
-ClosetSafe

Well I have 2 sons, early 20s and I have to tell you there are some cold bitches out there, we called them cunts when I was a lad. Anyway I have been with my wife 36 years and know a thing or two about females. Take the high road and find a temp/FWB right away it will drive her fucking crazy because she will wonder if she did the right thing. We can't pick the challenges that come our way but we can pick how we respond/act to them, it's called being a man. This is just another dress rehearsal in life, be happy you got to expearence the pleasures of a lovely for a few months, she's not the right one and besides she probably didn't swallow. On to the next one and don't bad mouth her, well maybe call her a cunt for me. Deal with it and move on as Billy the bar tender once told me...

ClosetSafe said:

4 months is relatively short in relationship speak. I hope you didn't dump her because she suggested "not-having sex" and "seeing each other less", because that seems to me like she just wanted to make an attempt at making the relationship last. Relationships can start out in a raging passionate hurricane of lust, but that is no foundation to build upon. It's been a week, she will either miss you, or miss you and find some way to replace you
-ClosetSafe

Click to expand...

Yeah it was the hurricane thing, too much too fast. I did not break up with her over not sleeping together, I would love to date and not sleep with the right girl to improve the realationship but I realized she had already shattered my trust (she put up a missed connections ad online while we were still dating) and she just wanted to keep me around because im a) nice and b) she didnt want to have to dump me. The fact that she hasnt tried to speak to me just confirms shes a cunt as woodsmaneh so accurately described her.

A piece of advice i was taught by a good friend the first time i had a rough breakup "Always, always remember: They are bitches and hoes, every last one of them"
I forgot the cardinal rule this time around, lesson learned.

lol...that was funny


XoXo

Miss M

Thanks all this was just what I needed to hear. My only regret is I let pythium get the better of my garden while distracted with this girl!

I honestly dont understand why you are so bitter, this girl you cared so much for, now calling her all these names. Whatever kind of "girl" she is, she at least had the decency to tell you her feelings (when she realized them) and not keep leading you on as you say or outright cheat on you. While you may think she was leading you on an 18 yr old feelings change like the wind, so at the time, I am sure she was just expressing the emotions she felt toward you.

There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings in a mature manner to her, IF that will help you move on. Tell her simply, how you FEEL. You thought by everything she said & did, she wanted a long term relationship & you would just like to know what changed her feelings. But like I said, dont expect much of an answer.

You being only 20 yourself & you stating this is your longest relationship also says something about you. Maybe until now you werent ready for a relationship, & unfortunately in this life it happens so often when 2 people meet, in different stages of their life, when under other circumstances they might be perfect for one another; everyone has their own speed when it comes to love.

What I would advise you is to take this as one of MANY lifes experiences, all of which good & bad shape you into who you are. You trusted your instincts & you stood your ground & didnt compromise your principles; when you said you wouldnt stand for that & good for you. Just remember the MOST important rule in relationships, do everything you can to leave the past in the past & not bring your baggage into the next relationship. Dont judge the next girl or see her any different because of this experience. Dont close yourself off to another relationship or again, venturing down that road to where you care enough, it HURT. We all hurt, it comes with love, and all relationships get used to it. But in the end when you find the one...and you will, it will be all worth it. Good luck!

Dude 4 months?

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin’ ’don’t blame me’
They point their crooked little fingers ar everybody else
Spend all their time feelin’ sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma’s too thin; your daddy’s too fat

Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin’ and cryin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, get over it

You say you haven’t been the same since you had your little crash
But you might feel better if I gave you some cash
The more I think about it, old billy was right
Let’s kill all the lawyers, kill ’em tonight
You don’t want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing

Get over it
Get over it
If you don’t want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it, get over it

It’s like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You’re makin’ the most of your losin’ streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak

You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick it’s little ass

Get over it
Get over it
All this bitchin’ and moanin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, get over it

Get over it
Get over it
It’s gotta stop sometime, so why don’t you quit
Get over it, get over it

guitargodj32 said:

I dont mean to bitch or bring my drama to the forums but I have found that growers of ganja are typically some of the most well rounded level headed people and I need help deciding how to treat my ex:


I dumped my girlfriend of 4 months last week when i realized she is a "one better" girl, the type who gets bored and starts looking at other people for attention. she started being a bitch to me and said we should practice abstinence and not spend so much time together but needed to still be dating, I wasnt going to stand for that.

It was my longest relationship to date (im 20) and It was upsetting, we have not talked once since I told her we should not date which I think sorta confirms that she just wanted me to break up with her so she could be guilt free.

I see her around a lot in my life, and currently there is an akward silence that overtakes our friend group when we both show up. I am done done done with her and will not ignore warning signs in my next relationship,

I am really tempted to talk to her and tell her what a coldhearted bitch she has been recently as we were pretty close and she was leading me on like she wanted to date for years. I treated that girl like an angel and she fucked me over.

OR

Should I take the high road and ignore her because she isnt worth my time? I have decided she is not but I feel talking to her or writing an angry note would give me some good closure.

what do you guys and girls think?

Ive told myself im over it but I still find myself pondering and feeling upset, any good advice besides getting baked for forgetting a girl?

Click to expand...

my advice is not to go back to her no matter how bad it feels...

a person with this personality is not one you want to spend the rest of your life with unless you want to go through this type of bs all the time. obviously you two are on two different levels...you being on the a higher level...dont lower your standards...obviously she isnt worth your time.

ive been through a similar situation by being broken up with by a girl i was moving in with (we hadn't done it yet but we were going to in the near future)...it caught me off guard and i felt the worst ive ever felt...but i didnt go to her or let her know that...i took my time to get over it (took a long time)...

dont go back its for the better...and thats what i thought to myself and now i see that it is..im much happier now to be honest.


you're going to have to live through the healing of the wounds...thats how life is...there is no easy way to forget or move on. it takes time...something you cant rush or slow down.

guitargodj32 said:

A piece of advice i was taught by a good friend the first time i had a rough breakup "Always, always remember: They are bitches and hoes, every last one of them"
I forgot the cardinal rule this time around, lesson learned.

Click to expand...

I don't know about this but always remember they are a ex for a reason, there is no going back.

how to get over a 4 month relationship??? that doesn't count as a serious relationship yet i think...

get with another girl.

keep on partying...

its better if you hook up with another girl at a place her friends will see. that way they'll tell her. and then you do it at a place where you know she'll be at!!! that'll create some drama and keep your social life interesting for a while....

the good ol' days.... hehe....