robert 14617
Well-Known Member
we have people like that here where i work , have to tell them straight to their face "shut the fuck up" and they act like they don't hear you , the hug was a bit much unless it turned you on
i Got Hugged at Work Today
- Thread starter budlover13
- Start date
The Outdoorsman
Well-Known Member
Which "whole" exactly?You're preaching to the choir, brother.
Sorry for the confusion. I wasn't saying it was a sexual advance. A bromance is a straight thing. Totally platonic. No homo.
(unless alcohol is involved but that's a whooole different story)
Dr. Greenhorn
Well-Known Member
all this over a motor mouth and a bro hug??
Oh My....
Samwell Seed Well
Well-Known Member
if your first response to a unwanted but nonthreatening situation is to posture aggressively . . id say you have more to worry about from yourself then the overly touchy feely guy on MDMA
whetheror not guyu is high or manic or whatever is irrelevant how you treat others and respond to them is, being followed is not cool but
closed fist???? def not ok not just not cool, people at your job have to be able to trust you wont get agro at the drop of a dime because of
some program the cops put in your head, probability of something happening at work, that requires a physical response is small . . .SMALL!
come on .. where i agree he was way to close and invasive to your personal space/bubble
but in the work place when you work with others you learn whats is called soft skills . . you are not a cop anymore your not a possible adversary to everyone you meet
got to get that cop brain to turn off, not to say your presumptions were wrong or uncalled for just that the goal is work and continued work not find the bad guy
I generally dont trust people, so that would of been my biggest concern. Its not so much the physical contact of a stranger, it's the "is this fucker gonna stab me or rob my ass" that crosses my mind most.
Mom had the "all strangers are either pedos or theives, so watch yourself" mentality when I was young, so maybe it's her fault. Or maybe after you see what human beings do to each other in this world, out of self preservation it's a natural reaction to keep space from you and these potentially lethal beings.
Mom had the "all strangers are either pedos or theives, so watch yourself" mentality when I was young, so maybe it's her fault. Or maybe after you see what human beings do to each other in this world, out of self preservation it's a natural reaction to keep space from you and these potentially lethal beings.
budlover13
King Tut
i simply don't like anyone in my personal space. Touching strangers is not ok. That's why there's laws against it. Granted, he was rather non-threatening but he was aggressive by following me. That's why i postured. i guess i could've just told him "Look dude, i'm walking away from you because you annoy me so take the hint and back off." or something to that tune.
Humans are animals and a good portion of communication amongst the human race is physical (through posture, facial expression, muscle tension, eye movement, etc). i could've barked at him or snarled a little (using a dog analogy). i snarled.
The cop training definitely increased the size of my comfortable personal space and reinforced it's importance to my well-being.
Hell, maybe i just chose to posture since he had already said he thought i looked "tough" therefore i accomplished my goal by utilizing his preconceived opinion of me.
Humans are animals and a good portion of communication amongst the human race is physical (through posture, facial expression, muscle tension, eye movement, etc). i could've barked at him or snarled a little (using a dog analogy). i snarled.
The cop training definitely increased the size of my comfortable personal space and reinforced it's importance to my well-being.
Hell, maybe i just chose to posture since he had already said he thought i looked "tough" therefore i accomplished my goal by utilizing his preconceived opinion of me.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
I have mild Asperger's. I read much nonverbal but not all, and yes; it gets me into awkwardness.
At the same time, a motormouth would be a steady irritant in my world, like a staple in my denim. I thrive on quiet and wilt in noise.
I understand your repulsion, but would suggest that you be patient but consistent. Explain in cool but utterly unambiguous language what your boundaries and expectations are (incl. speaking only when there is something to be said. That's big for me), and mentally tag the situation "gesture and posture won't register". If he isn't removed from the crew, you'll be doing yourself a favor and him a service. But I'm guessing on meager data. Some folks can't be shut up without ... being shut up. I hope this isn't one such. Nonetheless, I recommend making an especial effort to keep it verbal. And document, document, document!! Covers everyone involved. cn
At the same time, a motormouth would be a steady irritant in my world, like a staple in my denim. I thrive on quiet and wilt in noise.
I understand your repulsion, but would suggest that you be patient but consistent. Explain in cool but utterly unambiguous language what your boundaries and expectations are (incl. speaking only when there is something to be said. That's big for me), and mentally tag the situation "gesture and posture won't register". If he isn't removed from the crew, you'll be doing yourself a favor and him a service. But I'm guessing on meager data. Some folks can't be shut up without ... being shut up. I hope this isn't one such. Nonetheless, I recommend making an especial effort to keep it verbal. And document, document, document!! Covers everyone involved. cn
bowlfullofbliss
Well-Known Member
These guys work in a warehouse. It isn't like interacting with co-workers in an office or other more professional place. You speak your mind, and don't have to be nice. Dudes touching each other is unheard of, and dealt with. I think the best way to end it is to embarass him in front of other guys. The art of messing with someone till they stop their behavior, quit, or snap is a good one to perfect.Did he run up to you today for another hug? If so, perfect opportunity to tell him to get out of your personal space. In a kind way of course lol.
Call him out in front of people and it will end right then and there.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
If he really does have Asperger's, it's likely his heart is in the right place, but it's his implementation that needs work. I'd use the public callout as a later resort, and concentrate on getting through to him verbally. Especially if he's an immigrant or a first-generation scion from a touchy culture. I strongly counsel "benefit of the doubt". cn
Samwell Seed Well
Well-Known Member
im with you . . . i am very anti social . .well . . i call it anti social cause society does, i dont like being touched or talked to endlessly or even talked to at all, i just dont think people like to have conversations . . i think people prefer to be validated . .so i just try to keep it simple, but some dude following me and hugging me would set me off too . . more than likely . . . .
but just have to look at it as if another personality is frustrating more then likely that will be an issue sooner or later might as well nip the "i thinks" and "i wants" out until they are necessary . .. drug thing though definitely worth mentioning, but also your opinion is respected . . . .
if it gets questioned to many times that could change, ie, kid could be sick and took some day time medicine and was a little edgy . . . . .all the symptoms you mentioned could be attributed to a early winter head cold or the onset of one, and jobs are hard to come by someone might be more inclined to go to work to be told to go home vs call in first day
slowbus
New Member
what are you 4 years old? lol
Trolling
New Member
If this happened on multiple occasions then maybe should tell the manager but it's gossip if you tell everyone else about one occasion, no need to embarass the guy, like I said, tell him and only him how you feel about that and move on, no need to talk shit after that.
Exactly what the guy aove me said, people like drama too much.
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
the whole enchilada?Which "whole" exactly?
april
Pickle Queen
So on this persons first day at a new job he was nervous, trying to make friends , this is sad heaven forbid someone is concerned about ur mental state, oh no a half hug... really if i was ur manager I would question ur intentions, not his.
I hug male and female coworkers daily, hell I'll even hug a customer if they seem to need or want one. It's just a hug, ur not being raped or hurt, what hell....
I hug male and female coworkers daily, hell I'll even hug a customer if they seem to need or want one. It's just a hug, ur not being raped or hurt, what hell....
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
I am the definition of a chatty Cathy. (Gay stereotype intended) I cannot shut the fuck up. Even in a movie theater. I have a permanent callous on the back of my skull from all the head slaps to shut me up. I can't help it. My sister constantly threatens to buy me a muzzle. I would chew through the straps. My will to speak is too strong. I even talk in my sleep. My brothers call it mouth diarrhea. I call them dumb fucks. They beat me until I lose consciousness. It was worth it. Anyway... what was the topic again?
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
In all fairness he is a product of generations of homophobic rhetoric and was employed by an organization that institutionalized testosterone. It was a knee jerk reaction. However he did handle the situation badly. Budlover should have simply said he did not like physical contact. That way the offending party would get the message. If he was persistent then he should be reported. He could claim that you physically threatened him as a counter charge. You have to be very careful in the workplace when it comes to employee interaction.
april
Pickle Queen
As always, well said
I'm sorry but humiliating and gossiping about a person on their first day shows ur true colours, If I was him my ass would be in HR promptly upon my arrival asking wtf is up with the other guy, ya try and get someone fired because he was trying to be a nice person on his first day... just wow.
I wonder what the real issue was.... just saying, seems like this poor guy had no chance, really why even tell the manager ??? Guess some people assume their "opinion" is needed, hmmm makes ya wonder what the hugger thinks of OP
