Is Marijuana holding me back?

Well, from all the responses I got, it sounds like getting a girlfriend is something you just wait for. Like keep waiting and one day it will just happen.... what if I want 20 girlfriends over the next 3 years? What if I want to date a bunch of girls, find the one I like and get married? I mean how does that make any sense? Guess I better cross my fingers and hope I get the right one or, I'll have to wait another 3 years.... And then another 3 years..... Like how does that process work in life? And the "just be a dick to her" that's just a line. I mean people say that, true, but not to many people are gonna choose to spend their time with someone who is a jerk and treats them like shit. Sure it happens, but not the norm. Guess that's life1 Thanks for the input!

I read his post and I was left wondering what it had to do with weed. That said, sounds like you need to step up your game if you really are interested. Honestly, it takes a lot of practice and you can't get down on yourself. Hard to say exactly what you're doing wrong, but you're definitely doing it wrong. Can't try too hard. Need to make it seem like you're not that interested in them while being interesting at the same time. Learn to tell good/funny stories.

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

i stopped smoking for a period of time and i got no where further during that time. mightas well smoke and enjoy myself. things happen when they happen.

A few bits of advice, this first is important and what worked for me over time. Even if you don't feel confident, pretend you are. Picture yourself as you'd like to be. Over time, you will become that way, and it others will pick up on that. And getting that feedback from others will further boost your self esteem and confidence.

Far as meeting women, what always works for me is meeting girls through friends, and parties. Go out and socialize with friends, co workers etc and you'll likely come into contact with their friends and their friend's friends. Since you are not seen as a total stranger like someone on the street but as someone who knows a friend, you'll be considered safer to get to know or approach.

Jammin Screw - this ain't none of my business bro. So I will ask no more. But since your trying to help me, I should help you. Question: Why do you go to church? For ladies? Here ya! Yous not fooled by all that church stuff are ya? I mean imagine a book a bunch a bunch of dudes wrote thousands of years ago? Just this fake drama movie. And this guy told that guy and so on for so many years that it eventually caught on and since so many people heard about it, the more people believed it. They taught it to their kids and so on down the generations. (See prophet Muhammad's biography) Same with Jesus and Christianity! Both were very racist books. How many black people are in the bible? See church is just mental slavery! It's all bullshit! Now I can't say what other kind of life exist in this world or beyond. But church ain't got nothing to do with paying your respect or being cool to life. It's like going to a matinee or something, might as well go see a movie you like. You know it would be more humanly of a person to go sit out side or take a walk and think about all the wonderful things that life has put here. I don't expect you to take my word for it. Look at life, look at all the believers! I'm out numbered! It just kinda sucks when you gotta feel bad about something you shouldn't feel bad about. Church can make ya feel bad!

shouldn't let other people make u feel bad. i am atheist and i dont' feel bad about it.

Hmm, maybe I have a skewed point of view about this, but I like the look of a nice laid back stoner guy...lol. And hey you already have something in common...SO don't stop smoking, as for meeting people I don't know...I have met guys through friends, at work, and online...I don't like bars simply because they are gross--just like drunk people. lol. I have had guys try to talk to me in the grocery store and it always makes me feel a little weird...Nice, but weird. I don't really know how to help...But I wish you luck and can say 100 percent it is not the weed.

actually church is a good place to meet women, and they're actually decent law abiding people. But the same rules apply, don't tell them you smoke pot until you've been dating a really long time. Long enough that when she finds out, shes already wasted too much time on you to give up just because of it, and you then show her that you are normal and not a "drug addict"

hydroled said:

Jammin Screw - this ain't none of my business bro. So I will ask no more. But since your trying to help me, I should help you. Question: Why do you go to church? For ladies? Here ya! Yous not fooled by all that church stuff are ya? I mean imagine a book a bunch a bunch of dudes wrote thousands of years ago? Just this fake drama movie. And this guy told that guy and so on for so many years that it eventually caught on and since so many people heard about it, the more people believed it. They taught it to their kids and so on down the generations. (See prophet Muhammad's biography) Same with Jesus and Christianity! Both were very racist books. How many black people are in the bible? See church is just mental slavery! It's all bullshit! Now I can't say what other kind of life exist in this world or beyond. But church ain't got nothing to do with paying your respect or being cool to life. It's like going to a matinee or something, might as well go see a movie you like. You know it would be more humanly of a person to go sit out side or take a walk and think about all the wonderful things that life has put here. I don't expect you to take my word for it. Look at life, look at all the believers! I'm out numbered! It just kinda sucks when you gotta feel bad about something you shouldn't feel bad about. Church can make ya feel bad!

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Well bro ive gone to church since I was a kid n as I got older don't go as much, and no I'm not religious at all, but I have gone time to time n sometimes what ppl preach about seems kinda well weird to me, sounds crazy n like kinda wrong? But some of it is like seems fair... You know what I'm saying? But me I jus believe in god which to me is good spirit, good in life, wise, good faith, good heart, though I am not perfect n yeah I do my dos and donts but I am one to believe in forgiveness, they say god is forgiving so I can try I think in religion most ppl can't forgive so that bullshit, but like I say that's my belief I'm not religious nor do I put down, point fingers nor do I feel bad about petty shit, but it depends on different situations on feeling bad but none of them spiritual related, i don't do that, I think alot of religions are bs, but nah I know what you talkin bout and all those don't apply to me.... I feel like I'm in my own category on the spiritual side, or only few exist lol, I see from that point of View too... Some hatred and some brainwashing..Ppl talkin behind backs n critisizing... Backstabbing. It's crazy shit.... I think god that most ppl worship to would be alil upset at that.... I live my life n do what I Do and no matter what I'ma keep the good spirit n stay with my smoke and lighter and Do what i do, n I guess I'll make my round to a church Here n there.... I won't lose anything if I go, so.....

hydroled said:

I'm 30 years old, straight, 5'9 185lbs...in case you were wondering.

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I wasn't.

hydroled said:

I go out to a local bar in my area located in the art/restaurant/hippie district about twice a week. There is almost nothing but people my age there, never many singles girls.

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So you keep going twice a week to get girls, because?

hydroled said:

I can get a phone number sometimes, but then the girl doesn't answer when I call or we will text each other like 6 times and then it's over. So I start again and this process repeats

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You repeat the same process that seems to fail over and over again? That makes a lot of sense.

hydroled said:

Then I get depressed or frustrated and stop trying for a few weeks.

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Maybe you'll meet a nice girl at your shrinks office.

hydroled said:

Well the texts are usually just getting to know each other. "Hey how was your weekend" "What do you like to do for fun" "What's your life like, do you go to school, work, have any interesting hobbies?" All along those lines.. Might call some and text some. Never overbearing or anything. The girls are usually pretty nice, but they just flake out and stop returning...

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Boring, typical, and short lived questions that will usually end with you replying back to her answers with "Ohh, well that's cool"... Just call her, trying to mack on a girl through texting like the teenagers do when you're 30 is pretty lame.

hydroled said:

So when you approach a girl in that setting, you approach the whole group and no one knows you so there all just staring at you and listening to you. I don't care, but the situation just turns awkward.

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And you think that doesn't feel awkward to the girl? A random guy that nobody knows just randomly walking over to her and her friends? Just imagine how a person would feel in that situation being put on the spot like that.

hydroled said:

I've tried malls, it's tuff to ever get a girl to stop and talk for more than a minute. It's like your alone and they don't know who you are so it's like they are to scared to talk or something. I've tried the movie theaters as well, everyone seems to be in a group there.

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I'm starting to see a pattern here, it looks like you seem to be alone most of the time. You should drop looking for a girlfriend for a while and start socializing with more varied groups of people, you don't have to only hang out with people who smoke weed. The more people you know the better chance you have of meeting a girl in a more social setting.

You already seem to be social enough so this shouldn't be a problem.

hydroled said:

When I go out and just have fun, I don't get any shots at getting a girl. Because girls NEVER approach me! If I want a girl, I have to do the approaching.

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Maybe you're not an approachable person?

hydroled said:

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

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Really? John Mayer lyrics?
Alright then, forget everything I just said and forget about a girlfriend...

Someone get in here and give this guy tips on getting a boyfriend.

the fact that you knw it is john mayer is a bit scary to me.

medicalmaryjane said:

the fact that you knw it is john mayer is a bit scary to me.

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He's really not a bad guitarist, but his songs are.. ehhh.

And I didn't realize it was john mayer, my dumb ass had to copy the first 4 lines and google it lol.

whenever ive been single (which isnt alot) i dont look i find you find people when youre not making yourself too available, something to do with out brains, and body posture, i read it on some medical research thing. stoop trying so hard

Don't wait like those stupid lyrics suggest or life will pass you by. Get out there and smile and act like you are having the time of your life until you really are. When you go out and see girls at bars introduce yourself, say something nice and make up some BS about having to go. Leave them wanting more. You can always come back later and won't seem like a total stranger. If she/they are not there, you may see them next time you are there. You have build up that confidence !! When you walk away you seem more mysterious and less needy and things won't turn awkward so fast. If you keep it short, light and fun pretty soon you have new friends to talk about anything with. But once this happens you have to close the deal(sex) pretty quick before they put you in the friend zone.