leftyguitar
Well-Known Member
Well, since it is my dick... and it feels good to play with it... I'll damn well play with it whenever I choose to... as long it's not in a public inappropriate place. I can't get "caught" making my self feel good.
My wife caught me jacking off!
- Thread starter bbxww
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abe supercro
Well-Known Member
U couldn't wait to get home to beat your meat?
oldtimer54
Well-Known Member
I was at home. I was home schooled !
Indagrow
Well-Known Member
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
Oh, yeah, I've been caught. My last wife was truly nuts in this regard, especially when pregnant. She wasn't usually in the mood for anything sexual, no problem. She was having my kid, so my attitude was whatever you want, you get. But she HATED when I took care of myself! Not to be rude, I'd do it in the bathroom, or quietly after she went to bed. She had a sixth sense of when I was pleasuring myself, and she would promptly seek me out: "What are you doing in there? Do you know how bad it makes me feel that you have to do that?" Seriously??? You don't want to touch me, and neither should I? You can't have it both ways, and really, this activity has nothing to do with you. I did deserve to be chastised once when I left a porn tape in the VCR (yes, I said vcr). Some family came over the day after I watched it, and my ex decided to press play to see what was in there. Oops. The tape was titled 'Backdoor Anal Sluts Vol. 9'. When she tearfully confronted me about this faux pas, I tried to use humor to diffuse the situation: "I didn't even enjoy it, babe. Having missed the first 8, I was totally lost..." She didn't find it funny. Bitch had no sense of humor...
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bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
I always cry while stroking it so if I've been crying I'm generally guilty.
Trousers
Well-Known Member
it can't take too long to clean that microscopic dinky
I'm going to think about your balls in the shower.
vro
Well-Known Member
i dont care if people catch me jacking off when i was like 13 and i found out how to cum all i did was sit in my room masturbating all day it was like 1 big cum stain. i didnt have the internet so i had to jack off to the mexican channel and jennifer aniston and the rest of the chicks on friends
ChingOwn
Well-Known Member
Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeltons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
It seems I only get in this jacking off phase when she is pregnant.
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
Hell yes, I remember watching that when I first started to jerk it. I watched it so much that I thought human bodies actually split and rolled horizontally like that whilst fucking...
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