My wife caught me jacking off!

Caught jacking off

  • Total voters
    21
Well, since it is my dick... and it feels good to play with it... I'll damn well play with it whenever I choose to... as long it's not in a public inappropriate place. I can't get "caught" making my self feel good.
 
Oh, yeah, I've been caught. My last wife was truly nuts in this regard, especially when pregnant. She wasn't usually in the mood for anything sexual, no problem. She was having my kid, so my attitude was whatever you want, you get. But she HATED when I took care of myself! Not to be rude, I'd do it in the bathroom, or quietly after she went to bed. She had a sixth sense of when I was pleasuring myself, and she would promptly seek me out: "What are you doing in there? Do you know how bad it makes me feel that you have to do that?" Seriously??? You don't want to touch me, and neither should I? You can't have it both ways, and really, this activity has nothing to do with you. I did deserve to be chastised once when I left a porn tape in the VCR (yes, I said vcr). Some family came over the day after I watched it, and my ex decided to press play to see what was in there. Oops. The tape was titled 'Backdoor Anal Sluts Vol. 9'. When she tearfully confronted me about this faux pas, I tried to use humor to diffuse the situation: "I didn't even enjoy it, babe. Having missed the first 8, I was totally lost..." She didn't find it funny. Bitch had no sense of humor...
 
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i dont care if people catch me jacking off when i was like 13 and i found out how to cum all i did was sit in my room masturbating all day it was like 1 big cum stain. i didnt have the internet so i had to jack off to the mexican channel and jennifer aniston and the rest of the chicks on friends
 
tyler.durden said:
Oh, yeah, I've been caught. My last wife was truly nuts in this regard, especially when pregnant. She wasn't usually in the mood for anything sexual, no problem. She was having my kid, so my attitude was whatever you want, you get. But she HATED when I took care of myself! Not to be rude, I'd do it in the bathroom, or quietly after she went to bed. She had a sixth sense of when I was pleasuring myself, and she promptly seek me out: "What are you doing in there? Do you know how bad it makes me feel that you have to do that?" Seriously??? You don't want to touch me, and neither should I? You can't have it both ways, and really, this activity has nothing to do with you. I did deserve to be chastised once when I left a porn tape in the VCR (yes, I said vcr). Some family came over the day after I watched it, and my ex decided to press play to see what was in there. Oops. The tape was titled 'Backdoor Anal Sluts Vol. 9'. When she tearfully confronted me about this faux pas, I tried to use humor to diffuse the situation: "I didn't even enjoy it, babe. Having missed the first 8, I was totally lost..." She didn't find it funny. Bitch had no sense of humor...
Click to expand...

Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeltons.)
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
 
tyler.durden said:
Oh, yeah, I've been caught. My last wife was truly nuts in this regard, especially when pregnant. She wasn't usually in the mood for anything sexual, no problem. She was having my kid, so my attitude was whatever you want, you get. But she HATED when I took care of myself! Not to be rude, I'd do it in the bathroom, or quietly after she went to bed. She had a sixth sense of when I was pleasuring myself, and she promptly seek me out: "What are you doing in there? Do you know how bad it makes me feel that you have to do that?" Seriously??? You don't want to touch me, and neither should I? You can't have it both ways, and really, this activity has nothing to do with you. I did deserve to be chastised once when I left a porn tape in the VCR (yes, I said vcr). Some family came over the day after I watched it, and my ex decided to press play to see what was in there. Oops. The tape was titled 'Backdoor Anal Sluts Vol. 9'. When she tearfully confronted me about this faux pas, I tried to use humor to diffuse the situation: "I didn't even enjoy it, babe. Having missed the first 8, I was totally lost..." She didn't find it funny. Bitch had no sense of humor...
Click to expand...
Good s
vro said:
i dont care if people catch me jacking off when i was like 13 and i found out how to cum all i did was sit in my room masturbating all day it was like 1 big cum stain. i didnt have the internet so i had to jack off to the mexican channel and jennifer aniston and the rest of the chicks on friends
Click to expand...
Nice!
 
vro said:
i dont care if people catch me jacking off when i was like 13 and i found out how to cum all i did was sit in my room masturbating all day it was like 1 big cum stain. i didnt have the internet so i had to jack off to the mexican channel and jennifer aniston and the rest of the chicks on friends
Click to expand...


Yep, Friends girls. "They'll be there for yoo-oou, when the cum starts to fall..."
 
tyler.durden said:
Oh, yeah, I've been caught. My last wife was truly nuts in this regard, especially when pregnant. She wasn't usually in the mood for anything sexual, no problem. She was having my kid, so my attitude was whatever you want, you get. But she HATED when I took care of myself! Not to be rude, I'd do it in the bathroom, or quietly after she went to bed. She had a sixth sense of when I was pleasuring myself, and she would promptly seek me out: "What are you doing in there? Do you know how bad it makes me feel that you have to do that?" Seriously??? You don't want to touch me, and neither should I? You can't have it both ways, and really, this activity has nothing to do with you. I did deserve to be chastised once when I left a porn tape in the VCR (yes, I said vcr). Some family came over the day after I watched it, and my ex decided to press play to see what was in there. Oops. The tape was titled 'Backdoor Anal Sluts Vol. 9'. When she tearfully confronted me about this faux pas, I tried to use humor to diffuse the situation: "I didn't even enjoy it, babe. Having missed the first 8, I was totally lost..." She didn't find it funny. Bitch had no sense of humor...
Click to expand...
It seems I only get in this jacking off phase when she is pregnant.
 
bbxww said:
I don't fell so bad any more thanks to u guys! And the beat goes on.
Click to expand...

Awesome pun ;)

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We had a cable box for a while. If you wiggled the channel selector a bit and put it between the channels, sometimes it would be pretty clear for long enough for a middle school kid to nut.
 
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