need some serious input on how to approach my mother

Something I've always wanted to ask my mom and I KNOW she's going to get all angry and defensive and be like "weeds just to get you high" and blah blah blah..

So let me tell you briefly about my sister... She has epilepsy... (she's 20, almost 21) and I can't tell you the amount of pills she takes.. At least 25 in the morning, and an equal amount before bed... Roughly 40-50 pills a DAY.. and I'm always hearing from my mom "oh we went to the doctor and he wants to up the dosage on this and blah blah" to the point where my sister is turning depressive and suicidal... and this ISNT her... she never wanted to kill herself....

My mom told me my sisters in the hospital right now for severe depression cuz she was trying to commit suicide because she was unhappy with her life (all the pills, blah blah) and they are keeping her there for a couple days to watch over her..

I want to know how to approach my mom about medical marijuana... because I think it is something that could ADVERSELY affect my sisters life for the greater good... treating her for depression AND epilepsy.... (she doesnt have seizures that often from the billions of chemicals she takes) but my mom is SUPER against weed!!

Mind you she is in the military, and has done a few tours in Afghanistan and Bosnia... so bless her for what she does.... but she is extremely close minded on things like this... and I know it will turn into a huge argument and she won't listen to me. She knows I smoke, and I know she holds an internal grudge against me for it... and sees it as very bad...

So RIU... how do I approach my mom about medical marijuana? Because I want to help my sister before she ends up seriously hurting herself / killing herself because of all the chemicals these so called "doctors" are giving her.

Sorry this is a long post, but its important..
I appreciate any input more than you know.

edit: And my dads just a douche who will do whatever my mom says and vice versa

Well first off sorry to hear about your sister, i hope she feels better soon. Second if "talking" is an issue because of her reaction maybe writting would be easier.
From your post i can tell your able to express yourself quite well through writing, so maybe write a letter explaining your worries about your sister and how you think weed could help. Maybe point out medical proof of how it helps your sisters condition might help in changing her mind. Plus if you send an email you can attach links of things she can read that have positive feedback. People naturaly fear things they don't understand, show how weed is not the devil.

sorry to hear about your sister ,April is right on with the letter,that way she would at least get all the info without all the emotions that distort the truth.

Best of wishes for your sister! In my opinion if your can get your mom to sit down with you at a computer do it! Pull up youtube and type in "The Union". Trust me this short documentary has a very similar story about a 20 yr old guy. It shows instant relief to the young mans pain and depression. Its a lil bit into the video so keep her in the chair the whole time!

Hope it only gets better for her !

honestly if u cant c any way of ur mother going for this then dont go to her ur sisters 20 and can make the decision herself just ask her if she would like to try it she doesnt need ur moms permission and maybe ur mom will c that weed helps ur sister and eventually be alright with it

The best way is to have the facts to counter all of her claims. Be sure to compare the side effects and toxicity of cannabis to all of the meds your sis is on. But for anything to work, you have to get your mom talking openly. Maybe start by asking if she would do anything in her power to make your sisters life better. Then ask about the pot and why she objects. That's when you'll need to have your evidence handy. There are plenty of articles online.

And if she refuses to talk, just keep laying copies of articles that argue you point. Don't let her ignore it.

But in the end, your sister is an adult.

best wishes for your sister, i would say seriously print off studies, stories, ect staple them and say mom i need you to read this no questions asked, dont bitch ( can say it nicer then that) and dont be biased, please just read it for me

and give her a few days

the hashshasher said:

honestly if u cant c any way of ur mother going for this then dont go to her ur sisters 20 and can make the decision herself just ask her if she would like to try it she doesnt need ur moms permission and maybe ur mom will c that weed helps ur sister and eventually be alright with it

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i agree. your mom may have been taking care of your sister for her whole life with good reason, but now she is an adult and must start taking control of her own life. It seems like your sister does not have any say in her care and this could be part of her depression. she may feel trapped because your mom has been in control of her care for her entire life and now she is an adult and its time for her to become independent except she does not feel equipped to take care of herself. I am sure your mom has the best intentions in mind, but your sister is an adult now and she should be making these decisions about her life. She is the only one who knows what can work for her and she needs to be finding this out for herself. Epilepsy does not mean you are incompetent, there is no reason for your sister to not start taking the lead in her own life. Whether or not your sister is to use medical marijuana should be a decision that she makes on her own. i would bring up the independence issue with your mother and save the medical marijuana arguments for your sister.

First off, I am sorry about your sister, that's really tough and I hope she does better. But in all reality, this is absolutely not something you should talk to your mother about before you talk to your sister. I would say that is disrespectful in the least if you were to go to your mother first before seeing your sister's view on the subject. I am just saying, don't treat your sister like a child. I really think you and your sister should decide whether or not to try out smoking, then whether or to tell your mom, THEN how you will approach your mom. RUI does not have a good idea of how your mom would act to this kind of situation. Only you and your sister know your mom the best. We can only offer ideas.

Anyway, my suggestion would be to flat out tell her that you smoke pot or start talking about pot more, or how prop 19 should have passed, blah blah. Srsly though, how are you going to break news to her if she doesn't know FOR SURE that you smoke. In my english persuasion class this is called establishing ethos. This would be the same thing as establishing a middle ground. I highly advise against talking to your mom with a list of facts and counter-arguments, even if it is hand written. That would only lead to her blocking out what she wants to hear.

After you have told her that you smoke pot, try convincing her why. If you cant convince her that its ok for a healthy (insert age) year old to smoke pot then how are you going to convince her that smoking pot is a good treatment. All of this is going to take some time. I would say 2-3 months. (make sure you talk to your sister about this). But after your mom is, at the very least, comfortable with you smoking pot that is the best time to try and persuade her. I forgot the name of the phenomenon but in my psychology class it goes something like, if a person is asked a very small favor they tend to accept it. Then after a time span, a larger favor (sister's med) is more likely to be accepted THAN IF YOU WERE TO INITIALLY ASK THE LARGE FAVOR. This increase in acceptance is on the range of 50% more i believe.

Anyway, when you're trying to persuade, make a middle ground by talking to her about pot, then about you smoking pot, then about your sister smoking, dont tell her what you are trying to persuade her of until she is accepting of the smaller things (you smoking pot). Take some time.

Have a real heart to heart with your mom about it and express your concerns and then talk to your sister about it see what SHE wants to do. Ultimately it's my opinion that it's your sister's decision to make. Worst case scenario is that she doesn't care for it and or it does nothing for her. She won't die or become more ill for trying. Sometimes even just having the idea that something new she hasn't tried might help, helps! =D

Don't forget to mention while siting facts that Marinol (recently lowered from a Schedule 1 drug to a 3) is legal and simply a synthetic/processed form of the original that 'god' intended, yet the DEA/FDA insists that whole cannabis has no medicinal value...

I think medicating with cannabis for my manic depression/spinal injuries is the only thing that has kept me from ending my life all these years. At the very least it gives me something to look forward to, something to be passionate about, and most all something to stand up for.

I sincerely hope you find something, anything, to help your sis. Peace. =)

manta said:

In my english persuasion class this is called establishing ethos.

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Ethos, Pathos and Logos. must be a good class

If you have access to a pro MMJ doctor take your mum, your sister and yourself to an appointment, don't tell your mum that the doc is pro MMJ and have him explain everything for you. It will save you a fight, and I'm sure your mum is more likely to listen to a doc than you (unforunately)

But as has also been said, get your sister on board first! Does she smoke or has she smoked before? Does she know everything about it?! If you have her on your side, that is a plus. Get her clued up, show her examples of similar cases, show her studies on MMJ and how beneficial it can be.

I know where you are comming from with your mum not wanting a bar of it! It can be very hard to convince someone like this of the truth. But it's not her fault and I'm sure she must have your sister's well being at heart.

I'm fucking tired of hearing cases of doctor's trowing 1,001 pills at their patients! You know what that means right?? It means that your sister's doc has no fucking idea what to do with her case!
My wife WAS clinically depressed, alway's talked of killing herself, wanting to kill herself, I have caught her locked in our bathroom with a knife at her wrists! It is fucking scary man. And her doc was giving her a fucking bucket load of pills aswell, and strong ones!! 2mg of Clonazipam everyday! Is one example, I took one once, and it was a horrible sensation! And I could see how it mentally effects people in the long run.

Now she is off every pill she was taking, and is happy again! Imagine that! And her doc was against this! So man, thrive for the different treatment! Do what you can! I wish you luck bro, don't give up, for the sake of your sister!

Peace

Tell her in the end if your sister continues on the path she is on she could die or seriously hurt herself. Be completely sincere and heartfelt. Print lots of information from lots of sources on how marijuana helps epilepsy and how it has no bad side effects.

It's also important that you let her know that cannabis does not HAVE to be smoked. Also, emphasize how bad taking 50 pills a day is. Do research on BOTH and show her your findings. 50 pills a day = bad, smoking weed or ingesting it another way = not bad

but you have to prove that with actual facts and research or you won't win her over.

also, if you can get your sister to accept it than im sure that would help your mother accept it too.

does your sister want to do this? have you even talked to her about it?

best of luck to your sis and your family.

Just realized. Your sister is 20, almost 21.

She does not need your mothers consent.

Read the op...that's it. But if your sister is 20...she can smoke/take what she wants. I know a kid with epilepsy and weed is a miracle for him he says...as do most. If your mom kicks her out..let her crash on your couch. My 2 cents.

I appreciate everybodys insight.
I am well aware of the fact that my sister is an adult, but she has been babied her entire life... so she is entirely dependent on my mom.
The doctors tell my sister that she will never be able to live independently, because A) If she had a seizure in the night, nobody would be there to help... and B) The amount of drugs she takes costs anywhere from $10,000 - $12,000 a MONTH... which is all covered by the military (because of my mom) and there's absolutely no way my sister could afford that period.

My sister has smoked marijuana before, at least on ONE occasion... but I don't think she really likes it... and doesn't know anything about the medical benefits I don't think.
When my sister gets out of the hospital, I'm gonna take her out for dinner and have a one on one with her about weed.... and get her input on it.... If she's down to try it, then it's just onward to convincing my mom...

Also, when I was living there (few years ago now) my mom freaked when she found my weed, because she said the DND (department of national defense) can search ANY member of the militarys home without ANY express warning / consent... and if they were to find marijauana in my moms house... regardless if she said it was mine, I said it was mine.... The DND would terminate her career... so... do you think MMJ would affect this?

Also.... what about my sisters doctor? She's been seeing the same doctor for like... at least 10+ years... Why hasn't this fucking idiot even SUGGESTED mmj? He just keeps throwing more drugs at her... upping and lowering doses on this and that.... He's a fucking idiot.

Federal laws...Federal Government employee....mmj wouldn't matter. That's why I am saying...have your sis live or visit often and get her high at your place.

Kodank Moment said:

Federal laws...Federal Government employee....mmj wouldn't matter. That's why I am saying...have your sis live or visit often and get her high at your place.

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Thats probably the deal breaker right there... My mom wouldn't risk her job, even if it meant my sister would have a better quality of life... It's just not a fair trade off... To either of them really... and I don't think my sister would take MMJ over my mom losing her career/house and everything they've worked for.

Getting my sister high at my place is a suggestion, but I live like... COMPLETELY other side of the city... its a long ass drive.... and for me to pick her up and drop her off daily would cost me a small fortune in gas.

Supgee3 said:

Something I've always wanted to ask my mom and I KNOW she's going to get all angry and defensive and be like "weeds just to get you high" and blah blah blah..

So let me tell you briefly about my sister... She has epilepsy... (she's 20, almost 21) and I can't tell you the amount of pills she takes.. At least 25 in the morning, and an equal amount before bed... Roughly 40-50 pills a DAY.. and I'm always hearing from my mom "oh we went to the doctor and he wants to up the dosage on this and blah blah" to the point where my sister is turning depressive and suicidal... and this ISNT her... she never wanted to kill herself....

My mom told me my sisters in the hospital right now for severe depression cuz she was trying to commit suicide because she was unhappy with her life (all the pills, blah blah) and they are keeping her there for a couple days to watch over her..

I want to know how to approach my mom about medical marijuana... because I think it is something that could ADVERSELY affect my sisters life for the greater good... treating her for depression AND epilepsy.... (she doesnt have seizures that often from the billions of chemicals she takes) but my mom is SUPER against weed!!

Mind you she is in the military, and has done a few tours in Afghanistan and Bosnia... so bless her for what she does.... but she is extremely close minded on things like this... and I know it will turn into a huge argument and she won't listen to me. She knows I smoke, and I know she holds an internal grudge against me for it... and sees it as very bad...

So RIU... how do I approach my mom about medical marijuana? Because I want to help my sister before she ends up seriously hurting herself / killing herself because of all the chemicals these so called "doctors" are giving her.

Sorry this is a long post, but its important..
I appreciate any input more than you know.

edit: And my dads just a douche who will do whatever my mom says and vice versa

Click to expand...

My humble opinion, don't talk to her, just do it. Its your sister for fuck sake.
my godbrother took me out to a field when I was 11 to get me high because he saw my depression from being abused, that I wasn't eating, and was trying to let myself die. It worked, and I'm thankful as hell that he did.

Talk to her about keeping a blind eye to it...She can only lose her job if SHE fails a drug test...show her the studies, and ask her how important your sister is to her...also, talk to your sister about it...maybe talk to her about hiding her stash and getting her a one hitter...
teach her to put a bounce sheet in a toilet paper roll to filter the exhale...

EDIT: What about having sis come live with you for a bit?