MarijuanaMomma
Member
I have to wake up.
This dream has become a confusing reality and I desperately need to awaken...
I tell my legs to move,
I instruct my arms to do the same,
they oblige...
But my heart is another matter all together, it won't budge...
It is the biggest mountain of a rock on this green earth of my soul and I can't do anything with it.
I feel trapped...
frozen in the ice of it's highest summit where no human has yet dared to go and claim...
Who do I wait for to claim these icy, frigid waters at it's base...
the depth of which seem to carry on forever.
Who do I wait for, and why am I certain that I am not a worthy quest and that no one's actually coming...
The pain freezes me in silence...
the winds are bitterly unbearable at this height...
how do I expect any human to ever break through this barrier of pain...
Even if they do have the skills they lack determination, or visa verse..
I am weary of always being strong...
i want to be weak.
My body cries out for weakness...
but the cold solidity of my imposed and accepted strengths,
keeps me frigid...
cold...
alone...
I wish to simply dissolve...
yet what I really need is to rise up.
Even if I am bone weary of rising up one more single time...
but the single time always becomes again... and again... and again... and again...
I rise up...
I step forward.
I choose to see the light,
or I choose the empty comfort of the dark pain...
This I do know, weeping may endure for the night,
but I can always find joy in the morning: light... joy... hope... and strength...
If I am crying tonight,
it just means I am emptying my cup, that was once again too full.
Tomorrow will bring, as it always has,
a fresh outpouring to suffice me for the day.
so I hold on, and then breathe in deeply that fresh morning light.
after all, what else is there to do when you have an awakening...
This dream has become a confusing reality and I desperately need to awaken...
I tell my legs to move,
I instruct my arms to do the same,
they oblige...
But my heart is another matter all together, it won't budge...
It is the biggest mountain of a rock on this green earth of my soul and I can't do anything with it.
I feel trapped...
frozen in the ice of it's highest summit where no human has yet dared to go and claim...
Who do I wait for to claim these icy, frigid waters at it's base...
the depth of which seem to carry on forever.
Who do I wait for, and why am I certain that I am not a worthy quest and that no one's actually coming...
The pain freezes me in silence...
the winds are bitterly unbearable at this height...
how do I expect any human to ever break through this barrier of pain...
Even if they do have the skills they lack determination, or visa verse..
I am weary of always being strong...
i want to be weak.
My body cries out for weakness...
but the cold solidity of my imposed and accepted strengths,
keeps me frigid...
cold...
alone...
I wish to simply dissolve...
yet what I really need is to rise up.
Even if I am bone weary of rising up one more single time...
but the single time always becomes again... and again... and again... and again...
I rise up...
I step forward.
I choose to see the light,
or I choose the empty comfort of the dark pain...
This I do know, weeping may endure for the night,
but I can always find joy in the morning: light... joy... hope... and strength...
If I am crying tonight,
it just means I am emptying my cup, that was once again too full.
Tomorrow will bring, as it always has,
a fresh outpouring to suffice me for the day.
so I hold on, and then breathe in deeply that fresh morning light.
after all, what else is there to do when you have an awakening...
