One Liners

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #1

anyone got any good one liners? i'l give u a few to start off.....



Seems most men are in favour of the muslim full face veil.

It solves the age old problem of where to wipe your dick after a blow job

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #2

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #3

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #4

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #5

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #6

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #7

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #8

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

 

akgrown

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #9

how much does a polar bear weigh?....enough to break the ice! "from some recent movie"

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #10

I just popped upstairs and surprisingly found my wife using Veet on her bikini line.

I thought if only you could use some of that on your moustache, I may even fancy shagging you.

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #11

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents..

Gaywatch.

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #12

I bought a wind up radio last week.

Every time I switch it on, it calls me a cunt!

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #13

I've bought myself a chinchilla.

That should keep my face nice and cool in this warm weather.

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #14

Rape is like marmite....
One of you is bound to love it

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #15

A 80 year old man walks into the bedroom and finds his wife doing a handstand naked shocked he asks

"what are you doing?"

She says "I know you can't get it up, maybe you could drop it in!

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #16

'FOR SALE'' Complete set of Encyclopedia in good condition.

Reason for Selling:

-No longer needed. -Got married. -Wife knows FUCKING EVERYTHING!

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #17

I will never forget my blind wifes last words before she died, 'Are you sure its ok to cross?'.

 

Lt. Dan

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #18

While dancing with a lady, she leans in and says, "you smell good, what do you have ON"
I whisper back, "I've got a hard ON, but I didn't know you could smell it"

 

Garybhoy11

Well-Known Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #19

Couldn't find anything to eat in the fridge last night.
I hate working in the morgue when there's only male bodies.

 

Hupomone

Active Member

• Apr 14, 2011

• #20

This thread is pretty silly.

And it's colder than a polar bear's pussy outside. When's summer gonna actually get here!