Story Time :)

I

imchucky666

Well-Known Member
My Birthday:


My wife decided to take me to a strip club for my birthday. I object, but she insists it'll be fun.
We arrive at the club and the doorman says, Hey, Dave! How ya doin’? Damn!


The wife is puzzled and asks if I've been to this club before.


Oh, no, says me. He’s on my bowling team.


When we're seated, a waitress asks me if I’d like the usual -damn- and brings over a Budweiser.


The wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, How did she know that you drink Budweiser?


She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.


A stripper then comes over to our table, throws her arms around me, and says Hi Davey.
Want your usual lap dance, big boy? DAMN!


The wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.


I follow and spot her getting in a cab. Before she can slam the door,
I jump in beside her. I try desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken me for
someone else, but she's having none of it, screaming at me at the top of her lungs,
calling me every name in the book.


Just when I think things can't get any worse, the cabby turns his head and says,
looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave. DAAAYYUMM!!!
 
guy incognito

guy incognito

Well-Known Member
One time me and my buddy were at a bar and these 2 chicks came up to us. They weren't the best looking, but they seemed pretty drunk. They wanted us to buy them some shots, so we all did a couple rounds. We ended up chilling with them for another hour or so, then they invited us to their house. They were too drunk to even attempt driving so we all piled in my car and I drove us to their house. We happened to have some rum left over in the car from the predrinking so we took that in with us. Immediately we started pouring out shots and getting the girls to go shot for shot with us, except they were so drunk they didn't even notice we weren't drinking our shots. After about 6 or 7 more quick shots I pulled out a few joints. The girls were not regular smokers, but were very much up for some experimentation. After only about 2 puffs the liquor and weed really started catching up to them, and they couldn't function well enough to continue smoking or drinking. After another 5 minutes they were both passed out.

We tried to wake them up for a few minutes, and when we couldn't then decided it would be a great prank to write all over their faces with sharpies. After that my buddy stripped one of the girls naked and started fondling her. When she didn't wake up he had sex with her. After seeing her not wake up from this, I started messing around with the other girl and eventually had sex with her as well. We ended up not sticking around for too long. After we finished with them we stole what little booze they had in the fridge and the cash from their purses. We left their house and never saw them again.
 
Finshaggy

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
guy incognito said:
One time me and my buddy were at a bar and these 2 chicks came up to us. They weren't the best looking, but they seemed pretty drunk. They wanted us to buy them some shots, so we all did a couple rounds. We ended up chilling with them for another hour or so, then they invited us to their house. They were too drunk to even attempt driving so we all piled in my car and I drove us to their house. We happened to have some rum left over in the car from the predrinking so we took that in with us. Immediately we started pouring out shots and getting the girls to go shot for shot with us, except they were so drunk they didn't even notice we weren't drinking our shots. After about 6 or 7 more quick shots I pulled out a few joints. The girls were not regular smokers, but were very much up for some experimentation. After only about 2 puffs the liquor and weed really started catching up to them, and they couldn't function well enough to continue smoking or drinking. After another 5 minutes they were both passed out.

We tried to wake them up for a few minutes, and when we couldn't then decided it would be a great prank to write all over their faces with sharpies. After that my buddy stripped one of the girls naked and started fondling her. When she didn't wake up he had sex with her. After seeing her not wake up from this, I started messing around with the other girl and eventually had sex with her as well. We ended up not sticking around for too long. After we finished with them we stole what little booze they had in the fridge and the cash from their purses. We left their house and never saw them again.
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So you raped and robbed these bitches? You're terrible, that's terrible.
 
chambray7

chambray7

Well-Known Member
the girls let em into the house. they probaly had the idea of fucking but got to drunk and high and passed out.
 
Finshaggy

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
chambray7 said:
the girls let em into the house. they probaly had the idea of fucking but got to drunk and high and passed out.
Click to expand...
Ok. 2 things.

1.Trespassing and Rape are different charges.
2.They fell asleep, it doesn't matter if they previously intended to fuck, they never said "Fuck me when I fall asleep"
 
The Outdoorsman

The Outdoorsman

Well-Known Member
guy incognito said:
One time me and my buddy were at a bar and these 2 chicks came up to us. They weren't the best looking, but they seemed pretty drunk. They wanted us to buy them some shots, so we all did a couple rounds. We ended up chilling with them for another hour or so, then they invited us to their house. They were too drunk to even attempt driving so we all piled in my car and I drove us to their house. We happened to have some rum left over in the car from the predrinking so we took that in with us. Immediately we started pouring out shots and getting the girls to go shot for shot with us, except they were so drunk they didn't even notice we weren't drinking our shots. After about 6 or 7 more quick shots I pulled out a few joints. The girls were not regular smokers, but were very much up for some experimentation. After only about 2 puffs the liquor and weed really started catching up to them, and they couldn't function well enough to continue smoking or drinking. After another 5 minutes they were both passed out.

We tried to wake them up for a few minutes, and when we couldn't then decided it would be a great prank to write all over their faces with sharpies. After that my buddy stripped one of the girls naked and started fondling her. When she didn't wake up he had sex with her. After seeing her not wake up from this, I started messing around with the other girl and eventually had sex with her as well. We ended up not sticking around for too long. After we finished with them we stole what little booze they had in the fridge and the cash from their purses. We left their house and never saw them again.
Click to expand...
Sounds too real to be made up.
Hope you're just a sick fuck and are joking.
If not I would love to pound your face in.
Out of sheer principle for even joking about something like that.
People like you should be killed off for the greater good of man kind
 
Finshaggy

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
I'm afraid of TWO things, Cops and Sharks. And mostly because they are the same thing, and that thing is horrible.
 
Finshaggy

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
America is the land of opportunity. We have more Wal Marts, Gas stations, Counties, Towns and mainly more Water. Mexico is the land of the Free.
 
guy incognito

guy incognito

Well-Known Member
The Outdoorsman said:
Sounds too real to be made up.
Hope you're just a sick fuck and are joking.
If not I would love to pound your face in.
Out of sheer principle for even joking about something like that.
People like you should be killed off for the greater good of man kind
Click to expand...
I ended up getting a blow job from my gf without washing my dick either. I never told her. I just said I was sweaty from working out, that's what the "funk" was.

 
Finshaggy

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
Mexico should be the Amsterdam for this side of the world, if they could pick up that image and legalize weed. The cartels would be nothing more than smoke shops.
 
guy incognito

guy incognito

Well-Known Member
Exactly, who would want to smoke in their own residence when you can simply travel 2,500 miles away into a shitty country? Oh wait, EVERYONE. Also, how would them legalizing it stop the cartel from exporting into other countries where it is illegal and the profit margins are high. Do you even think before you type? Do you even think?
 
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