The wife to be wants a 'break' - The Relationship Thread

[PuffinChronic]

We just moved to a small town away from the city (Vancouver, B.C.) 4 months later she says she need some space and is moving back to the city at the end of the month. Claims that she wants us to be together still just living apart (400 miles apart)... Been together for 4.5 yrs and got engaged last summer, no kids (thank god). Is it just me or is there anyone else out there that thinks that it's few and far between a couple breaks and gets back together? The fucked up thing is that it's not like things have changed or we fight or anything.. everything is as it has been except for the move...

dumbfounded,
Puff.

 

[sunni]

shes probably just feels anxious since you moved away from the city, i doubt it has anything to do with you except the fact of the big change, its hard to move on from aplace you love ...

 

[PuffinChronic]

shes probably just feels anxious since you moved away from the city, i doubt it has anything to do with you except the fact of the big change, its hard to move on from aplace you love ...

Yeah for sure... new place, no friends.. totally understandable..

 

[sunni]

shell prob go back for a week, get it out of her system realizes she misses you and comes runnign back , i doubt it will be that long of a "break" and i dont think its so much a break from you as a break for herself as a person she needs to figure thigns through, especially if she has no friends in the new area.

 

[D3monic]

Sounds like you guys should just take a road trip for the weekend, cruz the old town hit a few spots you enjoyed. See some friends. could save it.... if you feel it's worth it.

 

[mysunnyboy]

do you think she is missing someone she left in the city?

 

[PuffinChronic]

Not too sure of her motives, all I can get is 'I just need space' . Mind you were both pretty young and shes never been away from her family before, Mom, Brothers all on the coast... I dunno I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.. Thanks for all your input on the sitch guys! Its much appreciated. Its good to get a different perspective on the whole situation.. Anyone have any funky relationship type bullshit they wanna relate? lol.. I know there's some venting to be done out there. Well here's the spot to do so! Lets hear it...

Thanks again.
Puff.

 

[slowbus]

just say good bye.You can't have it all,she might learn that someday.

ps have her drop me a line...j/k

 

[DST]

In my experience, absence does not make the heart go stronger, unfortunately. I hope it all works out for you.

peace, DST

 

[mcrandle]

shes probably just feels anxious since you moved away from the city, i doubt it has anything to do with you except the fact of the big change, its hard to move on from aplace you love ...

LOL, not hardly. I went through a change like that with my current girlfriend. She never needed a "break."

You don't take a break from a relationship that is for all intents and purposes going great just because you don't live near friends. The brutal truth is that she is down to fuck anyone that's not the OP. And I am sorry if that hurts dude, but you may as well accept it as gospel.

Best thing for you to do is take advantage of this "break" and go hit some strange, because you know that's exactly what she is doing. You'll be glad you did, and if she comes crying back to you, tell her you'll "think about it." Then hang up and never call her back. 4.5 years and she needs a break because you guys moved? LOL, when I moved with my girl, it made us stronger, because each other is all we have in this somewhat small town.

Don't listen to the female response here, I'm telling you the reality of the situation. They won't.

 

[lokie]

tell her to put on her big girl panties and grow up.
pack her bags for her and offer to take her back.

tell her you want to go forward into the future not back up.

life is hell and if you start out with emotional baggage?
well people are not airlines, people never lose "THE" baggage.

 

[PuffinChronic]

I agree with mcrandle... I'm in the same boat, knowing no one.. seperated from fam.. I'm not running away... Were both here to better our position in life.

 

[PuffinChronic]

@ DST, Mcrandle and Lokie.. Thanks for laying it out there. No sugar coating.. thats what I needed to hear.. Time to man up, stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to me. Thanks to the three of you... I needed a good metaphorical slap in the junk lol

 

[lokie]

Anyone have any funky relationship type bullshit they wanna relate?
Thanks again.
Puff.

yes.

no, my hard drive does not have enough space to compose a novel at this time.

baggage? I have had to upgrade my storage capacity
and the weight gets hard to manage at times.

all funny aside.
take your time, give her the space she wants.

do not lose site of your own future. do NOT get married if you
still feel you need our approval it may not be right for you.

Let your conscience your guide.

Every relation requires work from time to time.

you do not need to ride a train wreck, life is difficult enough.

 

[PuffinChronic]

To start with I know nothing about either one of you and I'd like to keep an open mind. However, from my experience I must say the following.

Major Red Flag IMO. Hope it doesn't hurt you if I say this but you need to find a new girl, pronto. Or stay single.
It should be an insult to your manhood that she's pulling this crap.
Like the other poster said, people in relationships just don't do what she's planning. What she's doing IMO is the slow break up. If she does go, don't be surprised if you get the "dear john" phone call or even worse, email.

On one hand I feel like a dick saying what I said but I'm on your side and I'm protecting you. For your sake I hope I'm wrong, but even so, a leopard doesn't change his spots. Down the line she could pull this type of thing again.

No worries.. I'm not offended... I'm not as slow as the chronic would like me to be... These are all things that I knew and felt already.. Just in need of some affirmation. I found out 2 days ago and at first I was going to throw up this thread but decided against it. Tonight I was like fuck it. I may not want to hear the inevitable, but knowing there is no gloves or helmets on RIU, I thought bring it. I could use the wake up call...
Start a thread you bitch! (thinking to myself)

Everything that has been deposited here I already knew... But it sure does feel good to know that I'm not alone. If I was worried about my feelings I wouldn't have come here for advice lol. And that is the main reason why I did.. Gloves off, no pussy footing around the bush.. lay 'er on the line.
.. Once again, thankyou to everyone who participated, you made a lonely guys night.. love RIU community... forever in ur debt.
Puff.

 

[PuffinChronic]

do not lose site of your own future. do NOT get married if you
still feel you need our approval it may not be right for you.

Let your conscience your guide.

Every relation requires work from time to time.

you do not need to ride a train wreck, life is difficult enough.

I am not seeking aproval from the RIU Comunity, I am simply seeking advice and maybe a wake up call from the many members here that are a lifetime ahead of me when it comes to life experience and relationships. I am learning now and will be untill the day I die. Thankyou for your input, it is appreciated. Sorry to have confused you with my erlier post.

To clear things up:
I am not, seeking approval from anyone... I knew, however; desperate as it may seem that I could get advice from the vets here, that they wouldn't hold back. That they would be upfront and and not spare me the 'emotional pillow' by chronic candy coating the truth .. which in the end is what I need to hear..


RIU is awesome! Thankyou to everyone who's helped me deal with my relationship bs, and most of all big thanks for walking me thru my first grow. I couldn't have done it without you guys!

people bitch that everyone is so mean and to the point here, so watch for this and don't do that.. hahaha never once happend to me. Maybe it's cuz I don't ask silly ass questions..? lol cheers and thanks again.

Thanks again!
Puff.

 

[Edgar9]

I deleted my post but you caught it first. After writing it I felt like you already had heard enough "glass half empty" stuff so I thought I'd stay out of it but you beat me to it.
Anyway, I checked back in to tell you that there's probably not a relationship specialist in the land that would be okay with what she's doing. She's creating separation, big time. 400 miles of separation to be exact. Can I ask you a personal question? Do you use cannabis but she doesn't. That's been a problem for me with relationships. I can honestly say I've never met someone who was okay with my cannabis use. It has always been something I tried to hide. Not very well though. Perhaps it's where I live and the types of women I meet, they're just not into it, and they're not into me once they find out. Marriage and bankruptcy protection are two of the biggest scams going IMO.
Hate to sound negative. It's just that I used to be in the mortgage biz and I did divorce refi after divorce refi after divorce refi. I was ridiculous. I know nothing about canadian women but american women are rough. They want it all and then some more. How's that song go? 'American woman stay away from me, american woman just let me be'. Now of course any american woman is going to want to come after me with a hatchet for saying that but it's true. Ask any foreign woman what she thinks of american gals. You won't get a flattering response. I've been dating brazillian women for the last 10 years but around here they are getting americanized so I honestly am thinking of trying to meet an asian woman next. I like their style, values, etc.

Good luck, you already know what to do.

 

[lokie]

I honestly am thinking of trying to meet an asian woman next. I like their style, values, etc.

1/2 is 1/2 no matter the nationality.

 

[Edgar9]

1/2 is 1/2 no matter the nationality.

If you mean she'd get half you're right. That's why I said marriage is one of the biggest scams going. Obviously plenty of women get married for money. Men too. It's the biggest commitment you can make and people change. That's the shitty part about it. Just earlier today I was thinking to myself how lucky I am that I didn't marry this one girl years ago. I'd be divorced no doubt. She wanted to take a break too. Then we got back together and then we broke up again. Glad she's gone with no collateral damage. So now it's on to the next battle. Hopefully I'll win the war.

 

[lokie]

So now it's on to the next battle. Hopefully I'll win the war.

fuck'em all on your journey to nirvana!