to smoke or not to smoke?

ok, got a deep subject for my fellow smokers and (to whom it may apply) parents out there. i like to smoke quite a bit. but i'm not sure wat the proper etiquette is/should be concerning my children. now when i was younger my mother and family smoked freely around me. so when i had my first child, i of course believed that a child should be allowed to be privy to everything and therfore allowed my first son to be around me while i smoked and watnot. now i have 2 more boys and have aged from an early twenty something w/ his first kid to a early thirty something w/ 3 kids and am not sure wat the best strategy is for being a smoker AND a family man!? i mean would it be best to acclimate them to it while they're young? or should a person try to hide it from them until they reach a certain age? adulthood? idk, i'm just saying that i'm feelin sorta torn here about not wanting to stop smoking the ganj but not wanting to cause my boys to start doing shit too young and go down the long hard road cause i thot it was ok to do it around em!!??!!! (as mentioned above, my fam did it full throttle around me, conseqently i got into everything under the sun by the time i was twenty, and paid a heavy price for it:jail, car wrecks, u name it) so lets here some opinions on this. the more experienced the better, but would like to get a feeling for how the majority feels on the subject.
that's another thing benassi (comment below) my mom started lettin me smoke when i was 13, well my oldest just turned 13. i'd like opinions on that too. not wether or not i should turn him on, but wat u think should be done if it was you, and ur 13 yr old knew you smoked and wanted to get high?1? ya know?

I started smoking and finally revealed it to my mom, which then revealed the fact she smokes... and that my aunt and uncle smoke...

Lol just bring up subjects on weed and see how they feel about it. Then calmly ask, "so... you ever smoke? Or you for it, against it?".

I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old - both boys... I will smoke in front of my 2 year old (not for much longer) but not in front of the older one.

I will smoke around him but I go into another room, if/when he asks I will tell him I smoke, just as others smoke cigs and drink alcohol....

doowmd said:

(as mentioned above, my fam did it full throttle around me, conseqently i got into everything under the sun by the time i was twenty, and paid a heavy price for it:jail, car wrecks, u name it)

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I don't have any kids, but I think there is your answer right there.

Iron Lion Zion said:

I don't have any kids, but I think there is your answer right there.

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This

Iron Lion Zion said:

I don't have any kids, but I think there is your answer right there.

Click to expand...

yeah, i know iron lion, as i was tyuping that i kinda came to that heavy/harsh realization. i almost didnt post it. i would just LIKE to think that i was raised differently than i am raising my boys. i guess tho really i'm doing it about the same huh?

Hey doowmd, I feel you on this. My kids are getting to the age where they're going to be exposed to D.A.R.E. and other anti-cannabis propaganda at school, so it is especially worrisome from a legal standpoint (we've all heard of kids calling the cops on their parents after D.A.R.E., right?). When my kids were very, very young I never made an effort to conceal my smoking - though I never smoked directly in front of them I'm sure they saw bongs, etc lying around. I'm having an internal struggle right now as to when to have "the talk" with my oldest child. I know I need to do it before D.A.R.E. has a chance to brainwash her, but I can't figure out exactly how to approach the subject.

There's a pretty good book for kids called "It's just a plant", that I've thought about getting and reading with them. I just remember when I was a kid and I found out my parents smoked pot... of course, I'd been through D.A.R.E. and was under the impression that smoking pot made my parents some kind of monsters, so naturally I was pretty upset about the whole thing.

Anyway, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that yes, you should definitely at least sit down and talk to the kids about it before someone else (namely law enforcement officers or school counselors) does. Kids trust their parents more than anyone else in the world, so if you're straight with them and give them the rundown about how it's not dangerous for adults but it's been demonized and is illegal for no real reason - then I think they'll definitely understand. Just make sure you let them know that you could get in trouble for it and it's one of those family secrets that doesn't leave the house =)

Good luck!

i think you should let your child make the decision for themselves...i didnt start smoking until the age of 16...2 weeks after my 16th birthday to be exact...anyway i made the choice for myself even tho my stepdad was currently smoking and my dad smoked alot...but i was never pressured to do it myself but for medical reasons i found it useful so i started...

but from my prospective, i would've done alot worse things if i started smoking and it can mess with puberty and you do not want a immature teenager because they started smoking early...

please evaluate what i said, and think about it...

this is from my own exsperience...

peace
cali

Honestly I would prefer them waiting until after highschool, just due to indulging in mind altering substances while their brains are still developing. But I would definitely explain the 100% facts as soon as I knew it was time or if he brought it up. If he/ she REALLY wanted to do it, I wouldn't say no because it actually helps me focus and motivates me. If it did the same I would allow it but I'd keep it a weekend/ night thing.

Smoking with my mom sort of bridged a big gap and opened both of us up to each other more. Kind of felt like we finally took that step into "hey... i'm kind of fuckin' old now haha".

i would just say explain the pros and cons. tell them that pot is the least harmful thing out there that they could do. just tell them that as long as it doesn't interfere with their schooling and such. i would say 13 is a fine age to smoke. my mother always was a complete bitch about smoking pot and tried to tell me it would ruin my life. My father on the other hand love to smoke and i blaze with him on a regular basis.

well my 13 yr old found out about everything when he came downstairs on his mom and me looking at my plants in a grow box!!! he said "what is that, a tanning bed?' lol now , i know some of u may not think thats funny, i guess u had to be there, but it led to a long car ride w/ me and him talking about growing it and smoking it. turns out he already knew i was smokin (could smell it). but the growing thing let me just say this:
as i said before, i got into trouble and will prob. never have the opportunity for any kinda of well paying career so my hand is kinda being forced on the issue. dont want to get to deep on here just saying that basically there isnt an alternative to this lifestyle for me about having it around us at this point in our lives (for the money's sake) but i'm worried about wat kinda impact it may or may not have on the kids. i may 'stage" a quitting for my oldest and just try to start being ultra discreet about it i guess. but that was really the reason i started this thread cause i was tired of not being able to enjoy myself in a good buzz around my family. lol
EDIT: and also i was wanting validation of me being selfish and wanting to overindulge in my habit to (i guess lol)

Benassi said:

Honestly I would prefer them waiting until after highschool, just due to indulging in mind altering substances while their brains are still developing.

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This as well.
So much shit is happening in your body as you go through puberty - hormones, musculature, brain activity in different areas, enzymes, basically anything you learned in High School biology regarding the human body is in hyperdrive for teenagers. While marijuana is cool for someone completely developed, I would never want to take the risk that I would impede/alter my child's (whenever I do have a kid) development in any way, even if that change is minimal, I would still feel guilt for not letting my child... wait for it... "Be all that he/she can be."

doobnVA said:

Hey doowmd, I feel you on this. My kids are getting to the age where they're going to be exposed to D.A.R.E. and other anti-cannabis propaganda at school, so it is especially worrisome from a legal standpoint (we've all heard of kids calling the cops on their parents after D.A.R.E., right?). When my kids were very, very young I never made an effort to conceal my smoking - though I never smoked directly in front of them I'm sure they saw bongs, etc lying around. I'm having an internal struggle right now as to when to have "the talk" with my oldest child. I know I need to do it before D.A.R.E. has a chance to brainwash her, but I can't figure out exactly how to approach the subject.

There's a pretty good book for kids called "It's just a plant", that I've thought about getting and reading with them. I just remember when I was a kid and I found out my parents smoked pot... of course, I'd been through D.A.R.E. and was under the impression that smoking pot made my parents some kind of monsters, so naturally I was pretty upset about the whole thing.

Anyway, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that yes, you should definitely at least sit down and talk to the kids about it before someone else (namely law enforcement officers or school counselors) does. Kids trust their parents more than anyone else in the world, so if you're straight with them and give them the rundown about how it's not dangerous for adults but it's been demonized and is illegal for no real reason - then I think they'll definitely understand. Just make sure you let them know that you could get in trouble for it and it's one of those family secrets that doesn't leave the house =)

Good luck!

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yea man, seems like u and me r pretty much in the same boat. i used to go by the rule, 'well, they're too little to remember it'. but that really only applies to one of em now. lol and i was also a fine young grad of the dare program! lol thats wat originally got me interested in smoking pot!! lmao! the cops brot in bongs and weed in little pouches. it really got me going about wanting to try it. but i'm scared the cops might pump the kids for info nowadays. thats another point i was thinkin of: to tell em so u can prepare them (the kids) if the cops/teachers/some other nosy adult questions them about a strange smell, plant, cig., etc. or wat?