Today is a bad day.

well my worst possible thing imagineable happened today. Of course my depression is kicking this morning (had a court date, and didn't want to be high) so depression is raging all day until i get home where i grab my bong and pack a bowl. I take the first toke when i start to realise im not feeling better, i take two hits, three fits, finish the bowl. I'm high, but the depression is getting more intense, instead of smoking my way out of it, i just got retardly high and depressed as hell. Today has been a sad day, what do i do if weed wont even supress my depression. When im high i think ALOT, but when im sad and STILL high those thoughts turn very dark. this sucks.

everything is going to be okay

I know how you feel ... You just need to learn to stop depending on things to make you happy. Just stay clean for a while and do a little soul searching... Trust me it will do wonders.

i cant do that though, cause i gotta work full time and i cant be depressed at work...its embarrasing.

Pot alone will not get rid of your depression; I know from experience. It can help tremendously but you need to go to the root causes of it. For me I was lacking spirituality in my life. Hope you feel better bro

BreatheSmoke said:

I know how you feel ... You just need to learn to stop depending on things to make you happy. Just stay clean for a while and do a little soul searching... Trust me it will do wonders.

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Good point here sometimes you have to be sober. I enjoy many things sober myself.

I'm pretty sure that i dont lack "spirituality" as much as i lack the love of another.

That is your problem right there... You don't NEED anything but love for yourself. Once you have that then the world around you is a nicer place.

It sounds easier than it is.

Canadabis said:

I'm pretty sure that i dont lack "spirituality" as much as i lack the love of another.

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I never said you lacked spirituality, that was just my experience. The last time I was depressed I lost everything and everyone I once had. I was sleeping in my car in the dead of winter but had also been working with a Buddhist teacher. It was in the back seat of my car freezing my ass off no where to go that I realized that the source of all the love in my life came from myself and always had. That was almost a year ago and through the ups and downs in my life after that I have found tremendous peace in my spiritual practice. I have not been depressed since and have had no need to take medication, I don't need to smoke everyday either.
I know today that it was pain that was needed to awaken me to the beauty and wonder of life. Without the pain I would have been too close minded to accept any type of spiritual practice. I believe it is important that each person has their own experience(s) in life. Just know you have much love from NewGrowth and I understand the pain.

Oh I know ... lol ... If only you knew half of the crises I've been through in my own mind. It's hard to see now, but one day you'll be glad you went through the depression.. You'll only come out a better, stronger person in the end. You just can't always resort to weed, or ESPECIALLY alcohol ... You need to clear your mind. Personally, I never needed to quit weed to get through the hard times, just had to cut down. You'll find that the herb can be beneficial as long as you keep it to a minimum [half a gram a day or so].. Go on a nature hike by yourself one day.... Or just start learning about something that interests you. Just don't worry about others... You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you.

life is good brah!

BreatheSmoke said:

That is your problem right there... You don't NEED anything but love for yourself. Once you have that then the world around you is a nicer place.

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Man I wish I had that understanding when I was 19! Spread some love around! Hehe I love share my joy with others! I was dating a girl recently who did not understand why I was so happy all the time and when I told her it was because I chose to be she did not get it.

Canadabis said:

It sounds easier than it is.

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Compared to what?

NewGrowth said:

Man I wish I had that understanding when I was 19! Spread some love around! Hehe I love share my joy with others! I was dating a girl recently who did not understand why I was so happy all the time and when I told her it was because I chose to be she did not get it.



Compared to what?

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lol ... It is just intriguing how simple it really is... What's more intriguing is that you can do it all by yourself... Without the help of these 'depression pills' that so many people take..

BreatheSmoke said:

lol ... It is just intriguing how simple it really is... What's more intriguing is that you can do it all by yourself... Without the help of these 'depression pills' that so many people take..

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Some people have gone beyond, the mind and body are well connected. There is a point when a person becomes so depressed that his/her body does as well so it is important to seek a doctor's help (people in psychosis, suicidal, ect). You are right though the pills are not a "cure all" as many would like to believe and if you allow yourself to heal you should never need them long term.

I actually took Prozac for a little while... It just got to the point where I couldn't handle the idea of popping pills just to have the will to get out of bed in the morning... It's just a half-ass cure.. They get you to a certain point of functionality and leave you stuck. Once you fully understand the power of the mind then really anything is possible to overcome.

BreatheSmoke said:

I actually took Prozac for a little while... It just got to the point where I couldn't handle the idea of popping pills just to have the will to get out of bed in the morning... It's just a half-ass cure.. They get you to a certain point of functionality and leave you stuck. Once you fully understand the power of the mind then really anything is possible to overcome.

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Feel like a zombie huh? Not great but not bad, yah nothing like some good meditation. I actually took seroquel and zoloft. The seroquel made me feel like I smoked bit it of ganja but it lingered to the next day and fogged up my mind it was really weird.

Yeah ... it's not necessarily better to be drugged up and living than depressed. I'd rather feel depression than nothing at all ... At least with herb you have an opportunity to think deeply into yourself...and analyze in another point of view. .

BreatheSmoke said:

Yeah ... it's not necessarily better to be drugged up and living than depressed. I'd rather feel depression than nothing at all ... At least with herb you have an opportunity to think deeply into yourself...and analyze in another point of view. .

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Why can't I meet cool people like you breath? Lots of people really just want to be numb!! I have felt the friggin depths of misery and would never trade my freedom to feel numb all the time might as well be dead.

BreatheSmoke said:

That is your problem right there... You don't NEED anything but love for yourself. Once you have that then the world around you is a nicer place.

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you are infact the love guru