Your best/worst relationships

dannyboy602 said:

i was in my twenties and i'm sorry to burst your bubble...but at the time it was my bf frankie. and i didnt get over it. i just moved on. i go either way depending on what day of the week you catch me. the real healing part occured twenty years later when i just let go of my needs and just focused on theirs. it becomes like a becon that ppl were attracted to. they think i got my shit together. i don't. i just put their needs first. i listen and speak little of myself. ppl like that. especially women. it effected all of my relationships, not just the sexual ones. casual friendships, family relationships. i was able to figure out then the ppl that needed nothing but friendship. and figure out the baggaged ppl that needed more than i had to give. and the minipulative ones who were lacking of a partner who tried to get you into bed because they needed "you" to complete them. once you take sex out of any situation, for me, it becomes crystal clear what ppl need. i just help them if i can and move on if i can't.

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nicely put dannyboy. everyone loves to talk about their favorite topic.....themselves. it's amazing what people will say. sex can lead to probs too. best relationship i had - the girl made me wait the longest. last gf - fucked her the first night in the bathroom at bar. go figure

IluvIt27 said:

I guess it depends on the first relationship. I compare ppl to the first one but my comparison is to make sure I've done better. I agree though relationships are based on need but you gotta steer clear of the needy people that always need you! My worst relationship was with my kids dad he was abusive. Best relationship is my current one lol

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it is a mistake to compare ppl you have sexual relations with. each person is different, has distinct plusses and minusus depending on life experience. when you meet a new potential gf you have to forget everything you know about dating and treat it as your first. if you can manage that things are much easier. more relationships falter because ppl compare new to old and don't want to make the same mistakes twice..blah blah blah. i agree if ppl "need" you too much it tips the scales. it becomes one sided. it means your partner has a void that you can not fill (parden the pun). and that she may need professional help of some sort or a life changing experience to show her the truth. sometimes having a child does this for women. what helps women a lot is consistancy. sexual relationships between ppl are a delicate balancing act whereby you may need more or less but in time that may change. so give it time and it may pay off. all people need. it is a yin yang thing. the two must learn to funtion as one. i learned this early as a kid. i grew up in a funtional family with no dysfuntion. i thought that was the norm. i later learned it was the exception. unconditional love i learned from my mother. it will pass through me to every person i meet. that's her legacy. but i also trust too much. that's my problem.

D3monic said:

Always had long term relationships... even when I had planned on them just being one night stands.

Best and worst are both my ex wife. I still love her more than anything in this world and no one could possibly hurt me more.

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Damn dude me too. Part of me fucking hates my ex wife but at the same time I still have a lot of love for her. Also my best and worst relationship . I've gotten back in touch tho with an ex gf. Damn did we have fun when we were dating.

The Mantis said:

nicely put dannyboy. everyone loves to talk about their favorite topic.....themselves. it's amazing what people will say. sex can lead to probs too. best relationship i had - the girl made me wait the longest. last gf - fucked her the first night in the bathroom at bar. go figure

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i hope you enjoyed it...wouldn't it have been cool to stay friends or even better partner up with the girl and make a commitment? i don't talk about myself very much but i find a lot of ppl like to vent about their own lives. i've learned a lot through that. i stay mostly quiet. the less ppl know the better. my adult life it seems has to do with self sacrifice to lighten other ppls burdens. so i keep only a small group of friends, family and extended family because other wise i would be pulled apart like a loin of pork.... it's my main problem i give too much. but i can't change it and i won't. it's just the me i've become and i accept it for what it is.

Dannyboy, I missed you. Carne too, if you're reading. You both are articulate, have beautiful souls and offer a great perspective from outside the bubble of most of us guys and girls. I just want to say I luffles you muchly and thanks for sharing. You are going to make alot of people of both genders and different sexualities stop and think.

dannyboy602 said:

i hope you enjoyed it...wouldn't it have been cool to stay friends or even better partner up with the girl and make a commitment? i don't talk about myself very much but i find a lot of ppl like to vent about their own lives. i've learned a lot through that. i stay mostly quiet. the less ppl know the better. my adult life it seems has to do with self sacrifice to lighten other ppls burdens. so i keep only a small group of friends, family and extended family because other wise i would be pulled apart like a loin of pork.... it's my main problem i give too much. but i can't change it and i won't. it's just the me i've become and i accept it for what it is.

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yep i enjoyed it. usually i do stay friends and i might soon. she wronged me several times. not going to get into it. i agree the less people know the better. but having a good close knit group of people to talk to is just as powerful as the best psychologist. you gotta tell someone or things will eat you up inside. i'll find a baby maker worthy of my love potion soon enough. no rush - my batter won't expire

TheChosen said:

aww what happened

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He wanted kids and (apparently) a partner with a vagina. Go figure. The stupid bastard had the unmitigated gall to hit on me after he was married. grrrr!

xKuroiTaimax said:

Dannyboy, I missed you. Carne too, if you're reading. You both are articulate, have beautiful souls and offer a great perspective from outside the bubble of most of us guys and girls. I just want to say I luffles you muchly and thanks for sharing. You are going to make alot of people of both genders and different sexualities stop and think.

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(((kuroi))) missed you too, love.

Carne Seca said:

Best - My first relationship. It ended when he died.

Worst - My last relationship. I was best man at his wedding. Don't ask. Lowest point in my life.

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I was best man at a wedding like that ... and in retrospect, the other guy had NO idea of the grenade he was falling on for me ... cn