Fuck you all!

shnkrmn

shnkrmn

Well-Known Member
Doesn't bacon just make everything better? Hey Phree, doesn't the bacon just make you feel all warm and cozy?:hump:
 
shnkrmn

shnkrmn

Well-Known Member
phree23 said:
very tru! lol got any for us?
Click to expand...

A man won the lottery and decided he'd always wanted to live alone on a ranch, you know, a big spread. Pretty soon he had 3 thousand acres of pasture, herds, privacy and peace. As he was sitting on his porch one day a stranger on horseback came over the hill and rode down to the man's cabin.

"Howdy" the man said and tipped his hat. "I'm your neighbor from the next ranch over. Been meanin' t come by and get acquainted".

The man was pleased and invited his visitor to stay for some talk. So, the chatted awhile quite pleasantly about ranching and the big sky country. The stranger got up to leave and prepared to mount his horse.

"I was thinking of having a little party this weekend. Would you care to come, he said.

"That's most cordial of you. I would be honored to attend."

The stranger smiled and said "There'll be a piece of drinkin', probably. How does that strike you?"

"Sure, I love to have a drink now and then and, well, it's a party, right?"

The stranger gazed back and said "Things can get rough sometimes, there could be some fighting."

"Well, said the man. I can handle myself, if it comes to that."

"Could be some fucking too, said the stranger as he mounted his horse.

The man thinks for a moment and says "well what's a party for?"

The Stranger begins to ride away but the man suddenly asks him "what should I wear?"

The stranger pauses to consider this, then replies "It don't really matter; it's just gonna be the two of us."
 
T

The Next Shakespeare

New Member
This one was always a favorite.


There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.​

The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".​

100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek as he asked, "G-go-got a light?"
 
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