Clincial Depression vs everyday depression

Yo guys don't mean to get off topic, but hobbes man clear out your PM box and hit me up

My junior year of high school I was extremely depressed, I figured out that for me the change happened the first time I cut myself, I wasn't doing it out of sadness or anything at all I did it to try to get with this girl, right like what a jackass I deserved it, but anyway I didn't realize it happened or what happened initially but later I realized that after I looked in the mirror I looked differently at everything all of the sudden, but I didn't realize it happened at first because I also did forget what feeling good was like, I was not able to feel good any more so feeking depressed was normal for me and I continued the cutting from there on being a little bitch about things and crying about myself. It was horrid, I would leterarly be angry when cars didn't try to hit me to take me out of this misery but I thought again it was okay. Well eventually I told my family and I did get on anti-depressants and I liked it cause the first day or whenever the dosage went up it made me feel super high, and then I started smoking with them and for me that was the perfect combination for getting me better, and well when I got rid of that bitch too. I'm doing much better today but I still don't think I'm really close to a 100% but I am a lot better I think of it like I'm stuck on the tip of Argentina and I have to walk to New York to be better. So by now I've gone a long way, but I'm only in Mexico and theres a huge drug war here, like fuck, but hell yeah, you know? sorry I just continued to smoke while typing that so I'm happy as hell right now. hahaha

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For others (males only, sorry) who have entrenched clinical depression one medication tactic to consider is having your testosterone levels checked and getting some Andro Gel, a mild testosterone gel.

I was researching for myself years ago and came across some medical papers about low testosterone levels mimicing or contributing to clinical depression. I had my levels checked when I had been in a 3 year depression with no manic phase, my testosterone levels were extremely high (Quad Polar Desease: depression, mainia, rage, anxiety, often combined (I made the name up)) the Andro Gel would have done worse for me, increased my anxiety.

A few years later my son had his first adult depression, it lasted years as well. He saw about 8 psychiatrists and tried a half dozen types of anti depressants, anti psychotics (increases the anti depressant's effects) and others. He kept getting worse. Things finally turned around when I thought to have his testosterone levels checked by our GP, I had forgotten about the idea when it hadn't worked for me. His levels were extrememly low, he went on Andro Gel and was feeling better within minutes - applied topically and very fast acting, he times his doses for a boost before recreational athletics.

Now he's the best I've seen him since before the depression, Andro Gel and marijuana (legal age, medical) made much more of a difference than anti depressants and anti psycotics. A boost from the Gel and a break from the pain.

I encourage everyone who is in a clinical depression to get your testosterone levels checked and if they are low get a prescription for Andro Gel, it could mean some relief for you.

I'll search the web to see if there is an equivalent for women.

(Hobbes buys 1 million shares of AndroGel Inc, sits back and waits.)

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AndroGel (Testosterone) Shows Long-Term Benefits, Safety for Men With Hypogonadism

Improvements in sexual desire, mood, lean body mass and bone density sustained in 3-1/2 year study

TORRANCE, CA -- May 4, 2004 -- Long-term use of AndroGel® (testosterone gel 1% CIII) is safe and effective for men with hypogonadism, a condition sometimes referred to as low testosterone, according to a new study published today in the May issue of the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism. The study, the first to examine safety and efficacy of testosterone gel up to 42 months, was conducted at multiple research centers in the U.S. under the direction of investigators at the Research and Education Institute (REI) at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center. Dr. Christina Wang was the lead author.

With continuous AndroGel® treatment, men in the study experienced rapid and sustained improvements in sexual function and mood. Decreases in fat mass and increases in lean body mass were persistent with treatment. Additionally, gradual and progressive increases in bone mineral density were seen in the spine and hip.

"This AndroGel® study is the first to show long-term benefits and safety with testosterone gel - that's great news for men suffering from low testosterone," said Ronald Swerdloff, MD, REI Investigator in the Division of Endocrinology, Metabolism & Nutrition, Harbor-UCLA General Clinical Research Center. "This study shows 3+ years of continued benefits and provides new information on the degree of safety for men treated with testosterone. Nevertheless, doctors must monitor their patients throughout therapy."

http://www.docguide.com/news/content.nsf/news/8525697700573E1885256E8A004A47FA


http://www.androgel.com/

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Sir Verde I'll get into my mail box tonight and clean it up.

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I found a veritable treasure trove of information here:

Depression, Bipolar II - Treatment Appendices

Also, a section "Are steroids really bad?" shows the connection between testosterone and mania. Not trying to discredit Hobbes' last post, just wanted to point out that if you suspect bipolar (and are considering self-medicating) be sure to consult with your doctor before taking testosterone to be sure you actually need it.

I dunno if this is the right place for this or not but I'm gonna put it on here anyway:

When I feel "down" I feel like theres no point in doing anything, as if when I try to do something in a certain way (either doing something "slower" or "not THE way") SOMEONE is gonna complain about it and within a few seconds of that I see red and want to hit them for expressing their point of view.

When I feel "depressed" I feel like theres no point in living - since february or something every day save maybe a week or 2 in total I find myself saying in my head "If this is life, get me the fuck out of it coz its nothing but a fucking inconvenience" ...even if its something mundane like someone telling me to do something and moaning coz I'm not doing it fast enough, I imagine the conversation which has never happened going like this:

Them: Your not doing it fast enough
Me: Shut the fuck up, stop complaining - I'm doing it aren't I? If you don't want my help then just let me know...
Them: Thats just another excuse, do it faster!
Me: Fuck you - get me the fuck out of here

...or something.

I moan and complain a lot more when I'm generally down - I don't know if it could be the weed which is doing it? I've done it fairly frequently over the last year or so...I stopped once for 5 months because I can't even begin to describe the feeling I had when I woke up that morning, just...very bad - no weed hangover, just this VERY STRANGE feeling of being REALLY depressed for no reason whatsoever...if I'd felt "Down" as well I'd have genuinely contemplated suicide for the first time ever in my life - I actually thought to myself "I'm feeling like shit, thank FUCK I'm not feeling bad in THAT way".

Today I was at band practice and I just didn't want to be there - I can't describe it, the others were getting stressed about a gig we've got coming up...not REALLY bad but at times I had the near ovewhelming urge to COMPLETELY fuck it all up with them (wanted to hit one of them a few times, wanted to insult and fuck it up with them to the point of not having them as mates even let alone being in a band with them....) I don't know why? Thinking back on it now its stupid, but at the time I didn't wanna do it and couldn't be arsed with them...It wasn't just a "not in the mood" feeling either - it was a GENUINE feeling of "can't do this anymore I need some new friends, I'm gonna fuck this to the point of no return"...I'm glad my fear of not having ANY friends and being a shy semi-sociopath stopped me coz they're my best mates (even if one of them CAN drive me to the point of nearly hitting him sometimes even when I'm not feeling "strange")

What does it sound like to you? "Clinical depression" or just "down"? I really dunno...its not really the kind of thing you can mention to your parents or mates really through fear of scaring them - hobbes, could you give us your opinion in a PM please? I'm thinking weed MAY be causing this to occaisionally happen...

Dysthymia is what my Dr. described my condition as. A milder form of depression, in which you never sink permanently into the depths, but you just sort of experience a perpetual disappointment and humdrum over everything.

Normally, he said, they would try to treat depression with a cycle of antidepressants and have the person taper off under some supervision. We tried that a few times and it didn't pan out. After talking to him about it, we realized it has always been there in my life.

He said that some people simply do not produce enough of the right endorphins OR they are uptaken too quickly in the brain.

But, I also have to agree with the people in here that talk about environmental factors playing a major role in the aggravation of this kind of condition: Proper diet, exercise, sunlight, etc. puts me in a better state.

As a teen, I self-medicated, I think, with all kinds of drugs, alcohol, etc. It was more of a destructive lifestyle back then.

But with a well-ordered mind, and a properly functioning brain, now I supplement my lifestyle with some all natural herb. My doctor is not supportive of the use of mj for depression or anxiety, as I have both conditions.

My point of view is this: Nobody else knows what my mind is like except for me. MJ has been a miracle for me in the past year. I took it up again after a 14 year hiatus. I did so just because it didn't fit into my family lifestyle at the time.

Now I am older, was dealing with back and neck arthritis, weight gain, depression, anxiety. It's all interconnected. I was taking vicodin for the arthritis. After awhile, those types of drugs stop being effect for pain. More is required to alleviate the symptoms. Also, IMHO, it is overkill for arthritic inflammations. At least, the ones I have.

I heard about all of the medical mj, and educated myself to its benefits. Talked it over with my wife, and we agreed to try it out. If things looked bad, I'd just stop doing it. With a little bit of self-allowance for re-adaptation to the frequent use of MJ for all of my symptoms, I can report the following:

In 6 months time from starting MJ therapy:
1) I lost 35 pounds. I am wearing jeans that would have fit me in high school. I am almost 40 years old.
2) My lower back inflammations are almost non-existent. My neck inflammations are nearly always there, but the mj makes it more bearable.
3) Depression is gone. I have periods where I still hit a doldrum, but nothing like it used to be. I can experience joy.
4) Anxiety is always there. This is mainly about having my mind well-ordered. I take Paxil as well. The combination of MJ + Paxil has been good for me. Treatment with only one of the two meds isn't as effective in my experience.
5) I have more self-confidence than I did. Not trying to be all "touchy-feeley" but anybody who doesn't know what its like to watch your career dwindle without any good explanation other than how you feel...
6) Much more energy.


Sorry for the long post. MJ has been a GOD -send for me. The use of it has been without side effects.

I respect the education and experience of my MD, but at the end of the day I am smart too. I don't think that my particular MD has the ability to see beyond convention, at least not yet. But my results kick his results ass. Nobody else knows what my existence is like but me.

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"I dunno if this is the right place for this or not"

This is exactly the right place Bob, sorry that I missed your post in June. I hope that all is going well, I sent you a private message and hope that you're still around to join us in this thread.

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Hey VarmintCong, welcome to RUI!


"Dysthymia - A milder form of depression, in which you never sink permanently into the depths, but you just sort of experience a perpetual disappointment and humdrum over everything."

Was it constant or did you cycle out and have mild highs as well? My mood cycles have always been to the extremes, the low offset by a more destructive high.

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"My doctor is not supportive of the use of mj for depression or anxiety, as I have both conditions."

Did your doctor prescribe medical marijuana? What country are you in?

Have you researched strains to relieve anxiety? There are many strains that will reduce or eliminate even severe anxiety - Strawberry Cough, Kali Mist ... there are excellent functional and sedative strains with anti anxiety properties, I can make up a list of options if you're still looking for strains.

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"My point of view is this: Nobody else knows what my mind is like except for me."

I'm with you 100%.

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"The road back from madness is a struggle. Only the luckiest of people find their way, more or less, back to the world you live in." - Dr Walter Bishop, Frnge​

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"In 6 months time from starting MJ therapy:

1) I lost 35 pounds. I am wearing jeans that would have fit me in high school. I am almost 40 years old.

2) My lower back inflammations are almost non-existent. My neck inflammations are nearly always there, but the mj makes it more bearable.

3) Depression is gone. I have periods where I still hit a doldrum, but nothing like it used to be. I can experience joy.

4) Anxiety is always there. This is mainly about having my mind well-ordered. I take Paxil as well. The combination of MJ + Paxil has been good for me.

Treatment with only one of the two meds isn't as effective in my experience.

5) I have more self-confidence than I did. Not trying to be all "touchy-feeley" but anybody who doesn't know what its like to watch your career dwindle without any good explanation other than how you feel...

6) Much more energy."

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VarminCong you are a walking medical marijuana success story. Thank you for the example that you've set with the way that you live your life.



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Hey this is an old thread, but I justed wanted to say I've suffered with depression all my life. It comes and goes in cycles, but I always have the potential to "crash" as I call it. I've used lots of different approaches to control it, with varying levels of success. So far, I just use my Prozac. I'm supposed to take 40 mg a day, but I don't always do that because I don't want to depend on it. If I feel a crash coming on, I take it. I also get adderall, and that's one hell of a mood elevator. I don't really trust or believe in psychology or psychiatry...after all, psychology was founded by a coke head with an Oedipus complex, and it's brought us such wonderful things as shock treatment and lobotomies. I'm my own therapist. But hey, if it works for any of you, do it.

Stoney McFried said:

Hey this is an old thread, but I justed wanted to say I've suffered with depression all my life. It comes and goes in cycles, but I always have the potential to "crash" as I call it. I've used lots of different approaches to control it, with varying levels of success. So far, I just use my Prozac. I'm supposed to take 40 mg a day, but I don't always do that because I don't want to depend on it. If I feel a crash coming on, I take it. I also get adderall, and that's one hell of a mood elevator. I don't really trust or believe in psychology or psychiatry...after all, psychology was founded by a coke head with an Oedipus complex, and it's brought us such wonderful things as shock treatment and lobotomies. I'm my own therapist. But hey, if it works for any of you, do it.

Click to expand...

where you been?? nice to see ya stoney

I suffer from PTSD and depression/anxiety are a part of this illness that I deal with almost constantly. I take medication to help and I have finally found a cocktail of meds that works pretty well for me. I'm not cured but I can function now which is a whole lot better than the alternative! For anybody dealing with any form of mental illness, my heart goes out to you.

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I thank the hippies, I was basicaly manicly depressed before I got SERIOUS with psychedelics.
Awesome for recovering childhood memories, dealing with issues, self acceptance, acceptance of others, INCREASE of seratonin receptors, all of that for the price of dieing a few times.

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MMJ needs to be accepted for depression. How would one go about getting this enforced.

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Where are you from Bob? In Canada depression is accepted with a psychiatrist referral but the process is lengthy. In many areas in the US mj is prescribed for anxiety or pms, depression is often covered by law.

Is your depression cyclical? How are you holding up in the fall, its until recently been a difficult time for me.

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hobbes you dont receive PMs anymore? That's annoying



ANYWAY, i just saw your post from 6 months ago about testosterone levels!

WOW! Blew my fucking mind!

I had some blood work done and it actually said I was supposed to be at 10 but i was at like 3 or 4. I was severely depressed at the time. I can't speak for now as it's been a while since I've had any bloodwork.

VERY interesting stuff though.

I was first diagnosed last year, and I really felt better through the summer, but this time of year just depresses me now for some reason. Its strange because fall is actually my favorite time of year for weather and scenery. But, just the shorter days, and colder temps are somewhat depressing, in a few years I'll be moving to the southern hemisphere from october-february to see if the summer like seasons down there keep my mood up, or if its something else completely.

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"hobbes you dont receive PMs anymore? That's annoying"

I know, sorry. I forget to check my messages and have a mailbox full of month old emails from people who are pissed at me for ignoring them. I just forget so I got rid of my email the same time I took the answering machine off my telephone. Same problem.

I'm glad to hear about the testosterone test, it is at least SOMETHING in this insane disease that has a quantitative measurement - I have never had a needled stuck into my brain to measure my neurotransmitter levels - and trial and error is just such a medieval method of treatment from a subset of people who consider themselves to be the most intelegent beings on our planet. One person who I supply with tincture and bud had his testosterone levels checked and while artificial testosterone has not cured him it has improved his life incredibly.

If you want to get ahold of me any time please post in the Grow Lab thread linked at the bottom of this post - I'm there throughout the day and night, from the time I open my eyes until I can't do another Volcano bag. I'm away for several hours at a time, sometimes days, but that's where I'll end up while I'm still on this forum. If there's something private that anyone wants to talk about we can exchange emails.

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I'm in the states, depression doesn't qualify. I have clinical depression and bipolar, it sucks. I would consider this very painful.
I want to be heard, but I don't know who to contact.