I had some odd leaf growth and some weird bud growth and I believe it was because of a thrip problem I was having. They hang out in your res or soil and eat at the roots causing deformed growth. I am not sure if that is your problem but it is a possiblity. Something to keep in mind.
Really some good ideas here - but without pics, it's really hard to come up with a good answer for you.
I mean, I totally get why you're not posting pics. I don't. And I won't. But maybe you can find some pics of the same sort of thing online (Google is your friend) and you might be able to share those and then we could help you figure things out.
Sounds like there are a lot of possibilities for the problem, but I always start with the nutes. Slow down on them if you're feeling like that's something problematic.
Never hurts to slow down on those. You can always add them back again. That's easy enough.
But thrips are a possibility too.
Good luck - and really, plants aren't retarded, okay? That's a little offensive. They have some issues and describe those. Using retarded in the way you have is juvenile.
And wrong.
