raised christian, have some faith, but feel so fake in church...

[LetsMakePot!]

I havent been to church in a while...but i spoke to a friend about this. I felt i was the only one until.

My presence is the only real part ive consistantly brought to a church and even that i seem to alter to the best of my ability to blend in the most i can. Impressing people, especially ones with importance within the church, with "newfound discoveries of improvement" within myself have become my goal. I raise my hands and sing to the music to appear to have a more intense relationship with god. I pay attention to sermons on the outside, while inside thoughts of anything else take place. I have put more effort in impressing the church and its body then i have trying to impress my mother. Im sick of being what you want. My feelings have driven me to rebel, I would rather easily lie and be praised by everyone than to actually share my own sick and twisted feelings and be "that guy". I have been in and out of several churches and although i have met some awesome people with many churches in the right direction, i feel the church is not a positive place for me. Especially having a chameleon like personality to be able to blend in to many different environments. Church is too easy and good to be "played" I dont want that game in my cupboard anymore, i feel guilty under God. I truly long and desire the needs and wants of god, even though my faith has been wilting slowly for years. chime in haters, fakers, lovers, christians, jews, REAL church goers, etc.

Anyone else feel like this? similar? contrary? lets hear about it

 

[GreatwhiteNorth]

Welcome to RIU.

Be whom you are, not who you think everyone wants to see.

 

[eye exaggerate]

I havent been to church in a while...but i spoke to a friend about this. I felt i was the only one until.

My presence is the only real part ive consistantly brought to a church and even that i seem to alter to the best of my ability to blend in the most i can. Impressing people, especially ones with importance within the church, with "newfound discoveries of improvement" within myself have become my goal. I raise my hands and sing to the music to appear to have a more intense relationship with god. I pay attention to sermons on the outside, while inside thoughts of anything else take place. I have put more effort in impressing the church and its body then i have trying to impress my mother. Im sick of being what you want. My feelings have driven me to rebel, I would rather easily lie and be praised by everyone than to actually share my own sick and twisted feelings and be "that guy". I have been in and out of several churches and although i have met some awesome people with many churches in the right direction, i feel the church is not a positive place for me. Especially having a chameleon like personality to be able to blend in to many different environments. Church is too easy and good to be "played" I dont want that game in my cupboard anymore, i feel guilty under God. I truly long and desire the needs and wants of god, even though my faith has been wilting slowly for years. chime in haters, fakers, lovers, christians, jews, REAL church goers, etc.

Anyone else feel like this? similar? contrary? lets hear about it

...sometimes I wonder if church is a phase of a person's life. After a while, the church is integrated, you 'become' the church and you are a priest of your self (Melchizedek). The congregation members are your thoughts, and you can direct them to a healthy place, etc...

...just my 5 cents. (...apparently pennies are no longer minted, so yeah, 5 )

 

[Blacktophat]

organized religion is a joke. they only want your $.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

Letsmakepot,

Question everything, do no accept any notion until you can prove it to yourself... then you don't have to pretend to have knowledge you don't really have. This will help you not only grow as a person, but grow as an intellectual.

I was raised and christain too, until i started to think formyself, and question everything, rather than think what other people told me.

 

[Hepheastus420]

Take no offense to what I'm about to say, but I believe you're desperately clinging on to your "faith". You feel guilt because you were raised to believe that loving and obeying god is the right thing to do.. You feel that you're doing wrong. Open your eyes though bud, it's only wrong in their eyes, is it wong in yours?

 

[Corso312]

I am the exact opposite..raised catholic and never got into the whole church thing..haven't stepped foot in one in 20 years..was in grade school last time I was there..and I want to get more spiritual and start going to church..but I just think they are all phonies and con men looking to pad the churches pockets..would go to one if I found a decent one with no ulterior motives.

 

[dannyboy602]

i think you'll find the answers in giving more of yourself to people who have less: faith, resources, money etc. god finds a way into your heart in this way. and you'll find a peace that didn't exist before. happened to me. i don't see where it shouldn't happen to you too.

 

[cybasolja]

I am conflicted butwhen it comes to religion. I think I'm a deist in a sense that I believe God doesn't interfere in our lives. He is like a watchmaker He made the watch now his watching it tick. Christianaty has truth but it's a religion that's flawed. I don't believe in religion; I believe in God. A God of love, truth and righteousness. I know it sounds clichè but that's where I wanna be.

 

[tyler.durden]

Theist or not, church is boring. It's like saying the pledge of allegiance every single morning in school; you took the pledge already, why would one's loyalty wane each day? Theists should have to attend church for one year, in that year you'll hear every single thing they have to say multiple times, so why have to attend each and every week? Maybe a spiritual refresher meeting quarterly, but even that seems excessive...

 

[gioua]

go to Church for the education.. just like you did for school.
I joined an Apostolic Church about a year + ago.
I find them to be very normal.. far different then what I was anticipating.

I have been to almost all the Churches here locally (they are a ton) I instantly stayed away from the "mega Churches" and those Churches that I was not able to speak and spend any time with the Pastor. I was a wedding Photographer for about 4 years and met a bunch of really interesting people and have seen some amazing churches inside...


My Pastor (who has lived across the street from me for 5 years) has never pushed me to go to his Church has never made me feel like I am doing everything wrong and when I talk to him... if he does not have the answer he will get it for me.

I question things all the time when I learn something I want to know WHY.


Going to Church, makes you no more of a Christian (or ... other) then sitting in a garage makes you a Car... But get your education.. figure out why you think the way you do..

dont listen to the folks who are telling you anything against God. I have made the comments myself in the past and now feel differently.

Being a religious person.. is not just a 1 day event either.. it is suppose to change you..

 

[Heisenberg]

I question things all the time when I learn something I want to know WHY.

dont listen to the folks who are telling you anything against God. I have made the comments myself in the past and now feel differently.

Your philosophies seems to be at odds with themselves. It appears you encourage asking question but only want to listen to answers that agree.

 

[Zaehet Strife]

I'm a sucker for funny yet truthful memes.

 

[tyler.durden]

Going to Church, makes you no more of a Christian then sitting in a garage makes you a Car...

I did love this line, though...

 

[eye exaggerate]

go to Church for the education.. just like you did for school.
I joined an Apostolic Church about a year + ago.
I find them to be very normal.. far different then what I was anticipating.

I have been to almost all the Churches here locally (they are a ton) I instantly stayed away from the "mega Churches" and those Churches that I was not able to speak and spend any time with the Pastor. I was a wedding Photographer for about 4 years and met a bunch of really interesting people and have seen some amazing churches inside...


My Pastor (who has lived across the street from me for 5 years) has never pushed me to go to his Church has never made me feel like I am doing everything wrong and when I talk to him... if he does not have the answer he will get it for me.

I question things all the time when I learn something I want to know WHY.


Going to Church, makes you no more of a Christian (or ... other) then sitting in a garage makes you a Car... But get your education.. figure out why you think the way you do..

dont listen to the folks who are telling you anything against God. I have made the comments myself in the past and now feel differently.

Being a religious person.. is not just a 1 day event either.. it is suppose to change you..

...just...fckn...wow Thanks for posting this.

 

[BA142]

I remember when I was younger as I began questioning my faith...it kinda freaked me out too. Then one day it stopped bothering me.

Whether you decide to continue practicing your religion or not, just remember that there is much more to life than religion. You can live a great life with or without it.

 

[gioua]

Your philosophies seems to be at odds with themselves. It appears you encourage asking question but only want to listen to answers that agree.

how so....
explain?

 

[tyler.durden]

how so....
explain?

Well, in one breath you say that you question everything, and in the next you say don't listen to anything any of us have to say against the value of the god concept. So, it seems to someone reading your post that you think you have an open mind, but then show that it is the definition of a closed one. That's why it seems you only want to question that with which you already agree...

 

[gioua]

we ALL... no matter what faith .... no matter what religion we are brought up in.. we will question things be it ourselves or our faith.. or each other.


I have done my homework.. I've done my research I done my time worrying and done my thinking.. and well I cant see that there is any other way.
(yet if your not ok... with this.. that is on you.. )

those who do not have faith.
those who feel they know the answers or thing they might
those who feel science will prove it all wrong...

have more doubt then I.



I stopped all of my wonderings about 2 years ago.. something bigger drew me into religion..


I encourage all to seek their answer to this mess of a life we have made and been dealt.. we seek our own personal convictions.
If you want to believe that we went from the goo.. to the zoo.. to you..



Those who doubt.. I am 100% ok with that.. I am not gonna bang on your door asking you to follow me to my Church.
we will all have doubts about this world...


I have never nor will ever be the one who says YOU are wrong in your feelings or personal convictions..

I am not that stupid...... if you FEEL the way you do.. there may be a reason for it.. I am 100% ok with that..

and... that reason can change..

my feelings have changed, my ideas and understanding has as well..



I can tell you this.. I have felt many ways in the past 40+ years..
I have been able to adapt.. to understand many things.. and have felt 100% the opposite of how I feel now..

I am at peace with myself...

I am 100% happy with the path I have chosen and the path that was laid in front if me.. I know I am either going in the right direction or I am being lead this way.

there will come a point in each of your lives.. where you look back and wonder.. am I on the right path?

its up to you as an individual.. to look at that path and seriously think, am I helping or hindering myself and those I come in contact with.

 

[gioua]

Well, in one breath you say that you question everything, and in the next you say don't listen to anything any of us have to say against the value of the god concept. So, it seems to someone reading your post that you think you have an open mind, but then show that it is the definition of a closed one. That's why it seems you only want to question that with which you already agree...

I will and hope each of you question things..

this is how we as a society learn from each other..

dont think I said I dont listen to those who want to speak against God.. that is not what I meant to imply.
If you have a point of view.. lets hear it..

but those who usually state that I am closed minded.. are not willing to listen either..

I am firm in how I feel.. and how I get thru this world..
I am always up for anyone who wants to discuss religion or politics or weed... as long as we can DISCUSS it and not bash each other..



I cant say to you.. your feelings and thoughts are invalid beacuse I said so..

I cant discredit someone from their feelings..

I understand how I feel... and why I feel that way... I expect those who wish to continue any religious debate to be respectful of my thoughts as I am theirs.



No matter who you are.. no matter how long you have been here on this world.. no matter what you have been subjected to...
we all have to either get along.. or move along..


***Dont be afraid to PM me. (*anyone*) or ask me questions directly.. gonna attempt to follow this post but incase I get sidetracked hit me on pm.. **